shiny, creepy people...

so we're at the bakery on saturday morning with jeanbean so she can buy a celebratory donut(peeing in the potty related) for wingman...

now, wingman is a boy with beautiful long curly hair and big blue eyes...well, let me amend that...some days he has beautiful long curly hair...other days that same long curly hair looks like a cross between spicoli from fast times at ridgemont high and nick nolte's mug shot...

despite the fact that he is dressed like a boy and acts very very much like a boy, he is often mistaken for a girl...which doesn't bug me, and sometimes i correct people and sometimes i don't...

so, we are in the bakery and wingman has chosen a chocolate donut the size of his head...and he is eating said donut in a fairly crowded bakery, standing next to jeanbean and i while we doctor our coffees...

i am adding cream to my coffee when i hear this loud screechy creepy voice say

"little girl!...little girl!...can i have a bite of your donut!"

and then the voice does something like a laugh...

i turn around to see this older woman bent down right in wingman's face!...she doesn't seem that old, but it's hard to say because she has long dyed black hair, bright shiny white tennis shoes that i'm pretty sure they stopped making in the late eighties, crisp blue stirrup jeans, and a brand new red sweatshirt...she's like a shiny outdated penny...

"little girl!...little girl!"

i put down the cream to get to wingman but jeanbean beats me to it and says to the woman

"um, little boy...he's a boy"

"that's a boy?...wow, look at that hair!...little boy!...little boy!...can i have a bite of your donut!"

and i kid you not her face is just right up in his!...all cackly laughing and more than creepy...i get to his side and bend down to speak to him and just be by him...

by now, she's moved on to place her order...

i wonder what in the hell it is that possesses people to think it wouldn't creep out a little kid to have someone they have never seen in their entire life be right in their face asking them for their treat!?!...i mean, can someone point out one thing that ISN'T wrong with that?...

i understand that people love little kids...and wingman is especially cherubic at times...but c'mon!...that's just creepy...if you want to interact with a young child it's best not to act like something out of a nightmare...

on another note, auntieEN lives in north carolina...i called on saturday afternoon to check on her because of the weather they were having...our conversation went like this

"hello?"

"hey auntieEN, it's me"

"oh hey girl, what's up?"

"well, i heard on the news that you guys were getting pounded pretty hard...just checking in...how are you?"

"oh, i'm good...there's really nothing going on here...but hey, i can't talk now because i'm just pulling up to the airport and i'm late for my flight"

"oh...well, where are you going?"

"tibet...so i'll call you on a layover or when i get back"

click...

well, then...

call me up on a saturday and i may have to put you off because someone just pooped and i have to deal with it or because the boybarians are being, well themselves...or just maybe you can catch me on my way to target!...

auntieEN is literally the only person i know that i can catch on the way to TIBET!...

sorry, can't talk now I AM ON MY WAY TO TIBET!

oops, gotta run i'm late for MY FLIGHT TO TIBET!

oh, i'd love to chat but it just so happens I AM ON MY WAY TO TIBET!

x.