Wednesday, July 20, 2005

many years ago today in a hospital (or on a beach, there is some debate on that matter) far far away...

a baby girl was brought forth into this vast and ever changing world aiming to make her own little corner of it as wonderful as possible...

and despite the inevitable missteps in the management of little corners, she is making much progress...she is also quite content in the knowledge that there is much much more to be done...

but, to her credit she is both silly and mortal, and thus realizes that today would be a good day to stop, take a step back, and enjoy the fruits of her labor...

for there is much for her to be proud of and much for her to look forward to...

happy birthday baby girl...

x.

Friday, July 15, 2005

it's friday, it's overcast, and it's the goddess mother's birthday!!!

happy happy birthday to the goddess mother!!!

my absolute dearest friend ever in the whole wide world i hope you have a wonderful and blessed birthday...i wish i could lie around on the sand up at the cape and read harry potter with you this weekend..i'll be thinking of you, and i hope you have a great time...enjoy!

as for the rest of you, i hope you all have something good to read and someone better to share it with...

x.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

i cannot be trusted to leave the house...

i know this is probably a familiar theme, my not being able to leave the house without fucking it all up somehow, but i have to tell you about my dentist...

my dentist is great...he's also my husband's dentist and the dentist of my children...he's very gentle and good with the kids...

and he's kinda cute...he may actually be really hot or not that cute at all, but as i don't get out much i don't really know and can't be held accountable for my tastes...

anyhow, so you take into account that fact that i don't get out much, his incredible niceness, his gentleness, the fact that he may or may not be hot, and the drugs i am administered during procedures, and what it basically boils down to is i want to suck on his fingers whenever they are in my mouth...

i realize this is *not* okay behavior and you will be relieved to know that while it's an overwhelming urge, i don't engage in it...even thinking it suggests there might be an internet site for people like me...

but it sure makes going to the dentist a hell of a lot more fun...and given lincoln probably had better teeth than i do, and the fact that they are probably having an easier time cleaning mt. rushmore than my hygeniest had cleaning my teeth (and they had to get a crack team from another country to do rushmore!)...well as you can imagine going to the dentist for me is certainly like vacationing in the seventh circle of hell...

and now that the physical presence of my husband has been replaced by great dental insurance, i have been to the dentist once a week for the last month...that's four visits...in a row...the dentist is either brave, oblivious, or runs the website that i should be visiting...

so yesterday for my weekly visit he was fixing my front tooth...i won't bore you with the details, but in my life i have fallen on my front teeth (first point of impact) twice, and had something fall on them twice (rock climbing and picture hanging)...they are most definitely a work in progress...

he's fixing the tooth and gets done and i mention that the wisdom tooth that's slated for removal sometime later in the future has been recently bugging me...and could we take it out sooner than later...like next week...

he looks at his watch then at me and says

"well i've got time right now, you want me to just do it today?"

to which i respond horrified

"NO!...i have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow...good lord there's only so much a girl can TAKE in a week!"

he just looks at me then gets up without saying anything and leaves the room...

poor guy, i really don't think he knows what he's gotten himself in to...if i weren't so sick and twisted i might actually feel bad for him...

no wonder dentists charge so much and commit suicide more than any other profession...

x.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BAG LADY IN PARIS!

on this day may your heart be light and your bags lighter...

and while i wish you were here so i could bake you a beautiful cake, gather you a bouquet from my garden, and help you go over your spankin' new AARP membership papers, my love and wishes from afar will have to do...

however, i do want you to know that in honor of you i *did* think twice today before leaving the house with wet hair...

i still did it anyway, but really what can you expect of the rebel women that you (air-quote) allegedly (air-unquote) birthed?

so happy happy birthday to you, dear bag lady in paris...i love you very much and wish you a blessed year...

x.

Monday, July 11, 2005

under the big top...

lately i feel like the bearded fat lady in a three ring circus...but that's another post..for now, i will introduce to you the clowns that are currently running the show here at the big red house...

presenting the duke of fun and wingman!

i don't use the word clown lightly, either...it's really quite a charged word as there are many schools of thought and repulsion on the very idea of the *clown*...while some find clowns amusing and only slightly annoying, others see them as downright creepy...and today, as in many days past, we had a bit of each...

this morning while the duke was discussing his upcoming visit with his cousin he said quite matter of factly (as he does all his odd and worrisome statements)

"i'm going to ask her to call me "bozo" the whole time i'm there"

"oh. why"

"because it's cool"

hm...okay...to each his own...at at least he hasn't started wearing makeup or loud clothing...yet...

then not fifteen minutes later i see wingman walk by me holding a shirt to his nose and saying

"mmm...the smell of my brother"

yep...definitely creepy clown...and i had such high hopes when he was born...

x.

Friday, July 08, 2005

it's friday, it's raining, and it's "mama, where's my sash?!?" more often than i can count...

ah yes, the duke's ever present all important tears the house apart when he misplaces it sash...

my life keeps me humble...very, very, humble...

call off the dogs, i shall return on monday...

and yes, i miss you too...

x.