i know this is probably a familiar theme, my not being able to leave the house without fucking it all up somehow, but i have to tell you about my dentist...
my dentist is great...he's also my husband's dentist and the dentist of my children...he's very gentle and good with the kids...
and he's kinda cute...he may actually be really hot or not that cute at all, but as i don't get out much i don't really know and can't be held accountable for my tastes...
anyhow, so you take into account that fact that i don't get out much, his incredible niceness, his gentleness, the fact that he may or may not be hot, and the drugs i am administered during procedures, and what it basically boils down to is i want to suck on his fingers whenever they are in my mouth...
i realize this is *not* okay behavior and you will be relieved to know that while it's an overwhelming urge, i don't engage in it...even thinking it suggests there might be an internet site for people like me...
but it sure makes going to the dentist a hell of a lot more fun...and given lincoln probably had better teeth than i do, and the fact that they are probably having an easier time cleaning mt. rushmore than my hygeniest had cleaning my teeth (and they had to get a crack team from another country to do rushmore!)...well as you can imagine going to the dentist for me is certainly like vacationing in the seventh circle of hell...
and now that the physical presence of my husband has been replaced by great dental insurance, i have been to the dentist once a week for the last month...that's four visits...in a row...the dentist is either brave, oblivious, or runs the website that i should be visiting...
so yesterday for my weekly visit he was fixing my front tooth...i won't bore you with the details, but in my life i have fallen on my front teeth (first point of impact) twice, and had something fall on them twice (rock climbing and picture hanging)...they are most definitely a work in progress...
he's fixing the tooth and gets done and i mention that the wisdom tooth that's slated for removal sometime later in the future has been recently bugging me...and could we take it out sooner than later...like next week...
he looks at his watch then at me and says
"well i've got time right now, you want me to just do it today?"
to which i respond horrified
"NO!...i have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow...good lord there's only so much a girl can TAKE in a week!"
he just looks at me then gets up without saying anything and leaves the room...
poor guy, i really don't think he knows what he's gotten himself in to...if i weren't so sick and twisted i might actually feel bad for him...
no wonder dentists charge so much and commit suicide more than any other profession...
x.
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