Friday, March 31, 2006

out of the way, it's a busy day...

aack!

sorry i didn't get here sooner to let you know about wingman's oral sedation yesterday...i am so busy and frazzled with projects and whatnot...mostly whatnot which for being not much sure takes up a LOT of time!

anyhow, more this weekend but it went GREAT!...way better than expected! :) :) :)...

i expect your thoughts and good vibes did their job and did it well...

more later, enjoy your evening...

x.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

millions of peaches, peaches for me...

walking home from school the other day wingman said to the lord of the ring and me

"it's a fine day today"

then he saw the sheep and shouted

"hey sheep!...don't you think it's a fine day today!?!"

oh. my. god. he's just a little peach...could you just eat him up!

in other "he's just a little peach" news the lord of the ring flew to san francisco yesterday for a business meeting...(meanwhile i was painting pee ridden wood and trying to teach our oldest son geometry that i never learned in the first place and eating crap mac and cheese for dinner because i was so exhausted and paint covered that's just how it played out, but i suppose that's neither here nor there) where he had dinner at a restaurant i have been dying to go to since we lived there years ago and never got to go at the time...i have their cookbook and enjoy their recipes when i can...

because he knows how much i've wanted to go there and more importantly because it was a very short flight back after dinner, he arrived after midnight with something from the menu in tow...while they bill themselves as a diner, a lot of their food is upscale and kinda fussy...he found the one thing he thought would travel well and brought it to me...

now, of course when you love someone gestures seem natural...gifts on their birthday, help with a project, offering the last beer...but it's those wacky "you did what?!" gestures that are the best...rather than saying to himself and his dinner companion, she really has wanted to eat here i'll have to bring her, he thought to bring it to me...

which seems a simple gesture if you're not 700 miles two states and an airplane ride away...

first the land cruiser and then the sirloin black bean chili with jalapeno cornbread...he better watch it or else he's going to turn me into a romantic...

or he's just buttering me up for something horrible...

either way, he's just a little peach...

and lest you think i am leaving the duke out i want to mention he has come up with what is very likely the beginning of his first original piano piece...and it's good...

i'm off...i've got to finish the painting, get my blood drawn and my pee looked at, ferry the boybarians to baseball, and try to keep us all on an even keel due to the impending early morning dental festivities...

we will be at the big city dentist at 8:30 am tomorrow morning and i'd much appreciate if you all sent some white light and good vibes to wingman...

x.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

fight the power...

yesterday the duke had that weird growing from the roof of his mouth tooth removed (he wasn't scared in the least and did so well!) ...but that sucker was an inch long!...and cylindrical!...i'm sorry, but that is so creepy...he left it by the computer after he got home and when i went in i looked down and saw it and shouted "come get your creepy tooth!"...he of course thinks it's cool...

anyhow he puts the creepy tooth under his pillow at bedtime and it ends up he got FIVE bucks for it!...it's a lot because the deal is is that if you have to have a tooth taken out it's worth more...

somebody thought he should get TEN but since that person didn't get up to actually get the money and stick it under the pillow and deal with the creepy tooth, FIVE it was...

ten dollars...that is just so wrong...

and thursday finally wingman goes in for the first of his series of oral sedations...i am less stressed and more optimistic than i was when this all came up, but catch me on thursday morning because it might all be different...

i am involved in a painting project that reminds me why i dislike painting and brings up once again the tired old question as to why we bought a hundred year old house...

the duke and wingman both start baseball this week...and lucky me they have practice at exactly the same time on exactly the same day in two very separate towns...

they, of course, are beyond excited...i, of course, will finally be purchasing that flask...

it's funny because i really never thought about the fact that they are boys and boys like sports which of course is a total gender generalization but in this case it's true...they were just my little baby boys...i just fed them and took care of them and played with them...all the while having no. clue. what i was in for...

and now i am the mother of sons who LOVE sports and cannot be seen without a ball cap plastered to their heads...a cup and an athletic supporter have been purchased...and those polyester short pants...all of which symbolize all that i *thought* wasn't who *i* was...but when you have kids it's soooooooooooo not about you...it's about the life you craft to sustain your children...and sometimes that life looks a whole lot different than it did when you first started out...

it's best not to take stock in situations like this because then you see what's really going on...two sports fanatic boys and all that that entails...membership to costco...home depot on the weekend...weight gain in my mid thirties...socializing with other parents on the sidelines...it's like i'm a regular american and i have no idea how it happened...

i guess i always thought of myself as some sort of exotic creature who was above all things "normal" and "american"...

HA!

i come from central california, went to the same high school as my father, had the same college english instructor as my mother, and haven't even ever left the country!...

well, okay i've been to mexico but that's only because i lived on the border and wanted to get my tooth fixed for cheap and have even cheaper drinks...and after the business of that last crossing i'm pretty sure i don't want to go back...shudder...if they would even have me...

good lord i think i'm creeping closer and closer to being really really normal...blending in even...

if i get a bob and start quoting oprah just shoot me on the spot...

and now just to assure you that *normal* doesn't reign 24/7 (yet) i bring you a replay of a conversation the lord of the ring and i had not too long ago...

"hey papa, when you're done can you play some catch?"

"sure, hey maybe we can hit the ball around too and practice batting"

exit the son and enter the wife who is grumpy about something and thinks being sarcastic is amusing when it rarely is in any situation and actually her overuse of it should really be addressed in therapy but never will because said wife has her own opinions on therapy

"wow, you're really going for father of the year aren't you?"

to which the husband replies jokingly in his typical water off the duck's back jovial manner which he maintains much more of the time than a man in his situation really should be able to

"just trying to give them the childhood i never had"

"oh, you're doing that too?...because that's what i'm doing...wow, they are so screwed"

x.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

stumbling down the bunny trail...

i simply have no time to write as of late but i HAD to share the following...

the duke is learning how to write a proper book report...in his rough draft describing what he enjoyed about the particular book he chose, i found the following sentence...

In this book there is an evil teddy bear who wants to be the main character in every book, so he calls all bad guys to capture other characters like Winnie The Pooh and Peter Cocktail.

good. lord.

x.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

happy spring!

spring has sprung around here and is keeping us busy, sweaty, grumpy, productive, distracted from the everyday...

house projects, juggling several irons in a single fire, digging in the dirt, a new lamb grazing our pastures...

we call him vindaloo...

x.

Friday, March 17, 2006

snakes, my ass...

well folks, it's that day of the year again...my annual "snakes, my ass" post...

i suppose it doesn't need to be said that i am not overly fond of st. patrick and his religious shenanigans...i believe i called him a "wanker" last year and i'm confident that nothing has changed since then so it stands...but my deep love for ireland, my slim hold on some irish ancestry, and unnerving appreciation of beer prompts me to celebrate this day in style!

i will reprise my corned beef meal of the past few years with just a bit of tweaking...

corned beef
cabbage
potatoes
irish soda bread
chocolate guinness cake
black & tans or arf n' arfs as my grandpa calls them

this year i am baking my irish soda bread in a dutch oven and see how that works...and i am adding a chocolate guinness cake for desert...it's one of nigella's recipes and while i've never tried it it looks absolutely delicious...it's a dark gooey tangy moist cake with a frothy cream cheese top slightly resembling a pint of guinness...

plus i don't have to sacrifice but a bottle of the good stuff for the cake!

it may not bode well for today that the conversation that took place between the lord of the ring and i a few moments ago went something like this...i said

"hey, when you go to the store we need more harp (i prefer this to bass in a black & tan...which then technically here in america changes the name of this particular pairing from a black & tan to a half-and-half...call it what you will, just pass me a pint in the meantime ) and guinness...oh and bay leaves"

"harp, guinness, bailey's...got it"

"no, bay leaves, not bailey's"

"oh, i guess i was just getting into the spirit of things"

"it's 7:30 in the morning"

indeed.

so happy st. patrick's day and once again i implore you to PLEASE not ruin perfectly good beer with green food coloring!!...there are other less asinine ways to celebrate a day that technically honors an ass...

oh and to auntieEN, my favorite irish lass, only you would find yourself in india on st. patrick's day!!...i miss you terribly and will have a pint or three in your honor...

x.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

wherever you go, there you are...and apparently, so is hooters...

well, we're home...

and that lazy maid didn't show the whole time we were gone!...sigh...

we are attempting to get back into our routine...i use that word loosely, you understand...

the duke is back to school and is embarking on a new math text and new history text...wingman has snack day and show and tell tomorrow...he's practically vibrating with excitement...

they've rescheduled wingman's surgery again and the dentist found an extra tooth on the roof of the duke's mouth that has to be extracted next week...

the lord of the ring is working from home for the next bit of time...

i am here...

i think i left you last right before the ball game...oh my goodness but i LOVED it!...who knew?...it was very enjoyable...of course what can be wrong with doing nothing more than sitting in the sun, drinking cold beer and eating deliciously crappy food while eavesdropping on everyone else around you?...it's like being on a picnic, only it's with people you don't know which makes it even better because you don't have to talk to them!...

the best part was the boybarians each got a game ball!...they waited by the giants dugout after each inning and the first time this guy who said he had been going to baseball games for 40 years and had never caught a ball caught a ball this game and gave the ball to wingman!...and then the duke hung out after another inning and one of the giants tossed him a ball!...but before the game even started the duke stood down there forever and got two giants signatures on the ball he brought...

oh my god you should have seen the looks on their faces!...simple pleasures indeed...i love my boys...

the rest of the trip of course included the aforementioned trip to the grand canyon...and of course the sillymortalfamily goes when it's SNOWING!...good lord it was a white out on the way up...it was 9 pm and the boybarians were in the back sleeping and the lord of the ring and i were still inching our way up towards the canyon...

in hindsight?...yeah, dumb parenting move #4005...

BUT it wasn't so bad when we started out and there is the land cruiser factor...so we just headed up...well the snow was obviously worse than we thought, nearly total whiteout, but it wasn't until i heard the lord of the ring say the following that i really started to worry...

"i better get out and lock the hubs and put it into high4"

okay first of all my husband is always way more butch than i give him credit for...and second of all that's just a buncha crazy talk right there!!

but, just as it was getting really bad, it stopped...and the night was clear and big and starry...it was beautiful...

the next morning we trolled around the grand canyon and vowed to come back one day when it wasn't snowing and for a family backpack down to the bottom...

what a gorgeous and beautiful wonder, the grand canyon...if you haven't already, you must go...

we finished up the trip with an evening in portland having dinner at our favorite restaurant and swimming at the hotel pool...where i must say i got more than one admiring glance my way while in my bathing suit...

this doesn't happen ever so i enjoyed it while i could...so okay, yes they were an older lesbian couple but a girl takes what she can get...

we started in the wilds of michigan and made a smile down the united states back up to home...we missed an ice storm and switched bumpers in michigan, saw dear friends and tossed the disgusting berry blast air freshener in illinois, missed the tornadoes of the midwest and discovered frito pie and shiner bock in amarillo, replaced windshield wipers and learned how to cage fight in new mexico, replaced tires and realized our boys are already lifetime fans of america's favorite past time in peoria...

and the thread that wove all of the states together?...a hooters at every stop...

through it all we learned, once again, that we really do like to be together as a family, and that it really is possible to travel 3000 miles with two kids and not a gameboy, dvd player, or walkman in sight...

of course that means i had to keep my "free to any home" sign at the ready and if i hear revolver ever. again. or the boybarians singing take me out to the ball game one. more. time i'm taking an ice pick to my ears...

of course that's not as bad as the last two hours of the trip wherein wingman amused himself by drawing pictures of me with a mustache...

when i balked (only slightly mind you, i know when i'm up against a losing battle...and there really is no reasoning with a five year old) he said

"but mama, mustaches are moo-ee (muy) macho!"

indeed...and it would certainly explain all the interest at the pool...

x.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

padres vs. giants 1:05 PM

i spent a leisurely afternoon by the pool yesterday...i read, i swam, i hung out, i got burned...

can i say i never burn?...i use sunscreen and beyond that my skin is such that it adapts quite well to the sun...but yesterday even with cloud cover and sunscreen, i burned...

i am officially a tourist...i like to think of myself more as a traveller, but i think i've crossed over with the burning and the ball park souveniers i am now carting around care of the boybarians...

plus today i am actually attending a game...three hours in the sun watching a game that well, it's a baseball game...who knew?

BUT i am determined to enjoy myself as it is very important to the boybarians and they really want to share it with me...

so, in the spirit of the whole event i got myself a ball cap and a three quarter length baseball tee to wear...everything looks brighter when you get to dress for the occasion...don't you agree?...plus, i didn't bring a cap (do i own one?) or even a t-shirt and i would burn and roast otherwise...

now, if i can just score one of those big foam fingers i'm good!...just kidding because of course the only foam i'm considering will be on the top of an ice cold beer...

so off we go...today the game...tomorrow the grand canyon...

now that's gonna be cool...

x.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

if it's saturday it must be the mountains of new mexico and men fighting in a cage...

so we bypassed st. louis due to time considerations and headed for the best burger possible in kansas city...missouri that is...

oh my god but was it good...it was a toss up between kansas city barbecue or beef...we went for the beef (lunchtime beef) and it really was the best burger i ever had...

kansas city is an amazing city...the buildings are gorgeous...the old west with a LOT of style and architectural beauty...and what a big city it is...i was amazed...

but not as amazed as the styled within an inch of her life hostess who seated us and JUST COULD NOT GET OVER THE FACT THAT WINGMAN IS A BOY!

we may have scarred her for life

"but he looks just like my victoria" (her four year old daughter) she wailed incredulously...

poor victoria...

it's been at least since before we left that wingman has had a bath coupled with his hair permanently under a seattle mariners ball cap he's not exactly ready for prime time...i doubt victoria has looked this bad on her worst day...not to mention the spiderman shirt he INSISTS on wearing every day (i finally confiscated it and he's no worse for the wear...yet...)

so when we were leaving she had to call over all her workmates as fast as she could and ask them all excited and angry and nervous and giggly at once

"so, girl or boy!?!"

they all failed...

it lasted all of about a minute and wingman and i (the lord of the ring and the duke were still wrapping things up) put up with it like pros...it's not the first time he's been the flavor of the day due to his hair...he's the roll your eyes and bear it king...

huh?..i do wonder where he gets it...

so from there we hit oklahoma, texas, and tonight, new mexico...

my boys are currently up late, drinking soda, eating coffee ice cream, and watching sweaty and scantily clad grown men fight each other in a cage on pay per view...

i would explain, but i think it would take far more energy than i currently posess...

what happens on the road stays on the road...

tomorrow, it's phoenix for spring training...

and just so you don't think i've totally lost my mind, i'll be poolside with a book and a drink...

x.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

when life hands you lemons...

you know those times when you go for something you really really want even though it may seem a little foolhardy but you go for it anyway only to have it totally suck in the end?














WELL THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE TIMES BECAUSE MY TRUCK TOTALLY ROCKS!!!

more later from st. louis...

x.