to my sanity!
this kid, this great and wonderful one-of-a-kind kid!...but does he make me crazy...oy...
or maybe it's just that today is friday...although, he does not contain his making me crazy to just fridays...but friday is the day he's allowed as much t.v. as he wants...and he gets up early...so by the time i am forced to greet the day, his brain is fried, or well on it's way...and by the time i have been up for less than ten minutes i begin counting the minutes until it's time for bed...or a drink...whichever comes first...
in fact, last friday i heard him tell the lord of the ring, "oh boy it's friday! that means i get to fry my brain on t.v today!"
luckily the lord of the ring trusts me, and figures i know what i'm doing enough not to question the fact that i have sanctioned the frying of the brain...
or he just has no other choice because he did take the vow for better or worse, and professional child care is expensive...
despite the every friday fiesta of viewing, i don't think t.v is entirely to blame for him making me crazy...because i monitor it pretty well...inappropriate shows are nixed right away, and the stuff he favors is generally pretty benign...he is certainly not allowed to watch anything remotely *adult*, and actually most shows he watches have to be at wingman's level...
but what do i know?...parenting is pretty much one big social experiment with me and i could be doing it all wrong...i'll know if i'm on the right track or completely off my rocker right about the time it will be too damned late to do anything about it...
frankly, i think he's just weird...it runs in the family...
for instance, yesterday he and wingman were playing with cars on one of those big car rugs...the duke had a '64 impala, light blue with white interior...a real boat of a car...he was driving it all over the rug, careening it out of control and hitting other cars...
"this is the mayor" he tells me...
the mayor?...but i don't ask why a "mayor" is part of his fantasy play...i feel it's best i don't know...
"he's out of control and just hitting all the cars...he's a bad driver...but nobody can stop him or do anything about it..."
"oh, why is that?"
he looks at me like i'm as dumb as a post...
"because he's the mayor"
what do you say to that?...nothing...you say nothing and hope it all just goes away...
and if that isn't bad enough, he's the master of the "power of positive thinking"...translated, it means "quiet and continued badgering"...
every once in awhile, out of the blue, he will say
"i wonder when we go to florida if we should drive or fly?"
or
"we should buy our tickets to disneyland on the web"
i don't have to tell you we don't have plans to go to any of these places...but apparently he does...
i want to believe that it's confidence...that it's not *weird* and not deliberate in it's attempt to make me crazy...that it simply is that he knows what he wants and he's not afraid to be confident that he will get it...
but he could also just be pulling a tony robbins meets total all out mind control on me...that he's been secretly listening to *motivational* tapes, and one day i will find myself landing in some airport in florida, the duke by my side, and i won't have a clue how i got there...
and i have to wonder how far this could take him...just how successful he could get...because he has more than once suggested the presidency...and that scares the shit out of me...not because i think he couldn't do it, but because it gives me chills to think of what the press could dig up on me and the lord of the ring!...
it would be far worse than being suckered into a trip to florida you can be very sure of that...
for now, i suppose i will just do what i can to keep my own power of positive thinking going...that the duke will grow up happy and successful...that whatever he chooses to do won't necessitate journalistic digs into his parent's *past*, and, as a result, tearful and apologetic appearances on barbara walters on our part...
except i'm not going to hold my breath...because after that conversation we had yesterday, i came in here and was on the computer when i heard from the other room,
"i wonder if when i'm mayor i'll drive a '64 impala or if i should drive a new car?"
yeah, and i wonder just where he stashed those tapes...
x.
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