Thursday, April 16, 2009

baseball update. and lots of poop.

so after a rain/snow out (the hell? helllooooo! it's APRIL!)that cancelled monday's game, last night's game went off without a hitch.

he was on the field for the first two innings, and his one at bat he made contact, got a good hit, got on base and brought a guy home. so far so good. we were just going into the third inning when we didn't see him run on to the field.

great. here we go.

only i didn't have long to dwell on that because right then wingman piped up in the most calm and yet perplexed voice

"oh. i just pooped my pants."

he complained about feeling a "little sea-sick." and because it was dark and cold we sat in the back of the truck facing the field. it was past his bedtime and he was tired, so he was lying down wrapped in blankets resting.

so, you know, the poop thing was a big surprise. and before i could register it properly i heard

"oh, i think i'm going to throw up."

so we switched into high gear. got him buckled in with a garbage bag for throwing up in front of him (can i just say we had a WHOLE roll of industrial strength black plastic trash bags in the truck? i have NO idea where they came from, but how lucky, huh?)

the lord of the ring and i went to tell the duke to just hang tight and papa would be back after dropping us off.

it was then that he told us that the rules for majors had been changed. like in the last few days. so now if a kid gets pulled he can be put back in later. he's not benched for the whole rest of the game. and regardless of who does or does not play in the field, everyone stays in the batting line up.

suWEET! this is perfect! not only does it reverse some stupid hard assed rule for 11 and 12 years olds who just want to play ball, it also gives kids like the duke a shot. a chance to really hit their stride.

so we got wingman home and i cleaned him up. then went in for round two. having heard stories about this particular virus going around i knew to stick him ON THE TOILET every time he had to throw up or even felt like he had to.

this was a very good piece of advice.

poor buddy. having been in the unfortunate position a time or two myself, sitting on the toilet with a bowl in your lap is not fun. it wasn't fun the first hour, and it certainly wasn't fun every hour on the hour past 1 am until 8 in the morning. then another round at 10 am this morning. that wasn't fun either.

i maintain that the best bathroom in the world has a sink directly facing and only inches away from the toilet. because when it comes in handy you know there really is a god and that he/she not only understands, but also cares about your exploding orifices.

i can say that at this point wingman seems to be at the end of it. he's pale and gritchy. his belly is sore and he's lying on the couch dreaming of all the things he can't eat or drink. at this point, we are BARELY seeing small sips of lukewarm water staying down. so i think macaroni and cheese and left over fish tacos for lunch are going to remain a far off dream for the lad for awhile yet.

so, back to the game. all in all it turned out well. the duke got another hit and made it on base. and after playing outfield for the first two innings, once he got off the bench he was moved in to play second base for the last two innings.

so i think it's going to be "o.k." my initial assesment of the coach and the team hasn't changed much, but i do see it's not as black and white as i thought. or, maybe, the duke finally showed them something? who knows?

i do know this, the duke is motivated. motivated to continue to play well and play better, and motivated to check out his options for making a spot for himself on the team. he sees that a weakness on his team is in the pitching. they don't have a solid pitcher and he thinks maybe that could be his "in." while pitching hasn't ever particularly intersted him before, he's actually pretty good at it and could get quite good with some continued practice. and, they need someone. which is all the incentive he needs right now.

so we'll see. but this is good. he's figuring it out. and i'm, for the most part except dishing with you all, staying out of it.

now, now i just have to figure out the following conversation i had with the duke this morning. um, let's just file this under WTF!?! and call it good.

"hey, mama, did you know that M (kid on his team) won't be at the opening ceremonies on saturday because he's going to hooters in the city?"

"hooters! really? with who, his family?"

"yeah, in the city."

"who misses opening ceremonies to go to hooters! and who just takes their kids to hooters! like as a planned outing!?!"

so then the lord of the ring pipes up

"apparently they are advertising themselves as 'family friendly' now."

" 'family friendly?' with a bunch of scantily clad women serving up your food? not only do i not want my family to have to deal with that while eating, it hardly seems safe with all that hot greasy food and all that exposed skin! not to mention, sanitary!"

"well, you think that's weird? J (another kid on his team) had his birthday party there last year."

and if there's anything more to say about that i really don't know what it is.


an update on the last little sip of lukewarm water;

no go.


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