sledding as contact sport.

more snow.

LOTS of snow!...which means the whole day long in and out and on and off of snow gear and endless rounds of supplying dry clothes and hot chocolate and tea and soup...

it's a lot of work to have fun...

anyhow, today is likely the last good day for sledding...there's a warming thing going on and things already look a bit drippy outside...

the best part is we've managed to nearly complete our school week even with all the outdoor fun...i just love not being part of someone else's schedule...

in other news, well i guess there isn't much other news...when there's enough snow for snowball fights and sledding outside, with all the attendant trappings, little gets done...though i did manage to very nearly read the entire calvin and hobbes collection in the past few days...

but lest you think i was slacking off by the fire with my comics and my mugs of tea i just want to point out that it was research...see, the boybarians have become HUGE fans of calvin and hobbes...the duke of fun checked out ALL the calvin and hobbes books from the library, and they've both been devouring them...

which seems charming if one didn't actually take into account what kind of child calvin is...if you can't remember, do go a check out a book and get reacquainted...good lord i'm glad we don't have neighbors...

so, calvin being calvin, i need to keep up...those books are like step by step manuals on how to create mischief and mayhem!!...this way, if i read them all i'm one step ahead when one of my little calvins gets an *idea*...

and hey, reading calvin and hobbes as parental research is a lot more interesting than "how to talk to your kids about sex"...bonus...

though watching wingman jump onto the duke's already moving sled only to be fully shoved off into the snow halfway down the hill at top speed seems like something the duke was capable of coming up with all on his own...

x.

a man's gotta have something to believe in.

so the good news is that i've made it!!!

just a few days more with those christmas boxes in the hallway upstairs and i can bring them down for decorating...it's the home stretch baby!

NO cleaning out the closet to make room, NO rearranging and moving boxes, nada!

procrastination has its high points and i'd say they are severely underappreciated...

in other news, thanksgiving's over and christmas is upon us...the bag lady in paris escaped the still warm and consistently the same season of the lone star state and paid a visit...

unfortunately, or fortunately she missed the big snow!...it's snowed more here the past few days than you can shake a shovel at...very holiday like...sledding, hot chocolate, the beginnings of an igloo...

in school related news, we've started a new math book, greek is going well...i'm trying to remember i want to get the duke to do more memory work, but i keep forgetting...that's very w.c. fields, but true...

wingman sits up in his bed at night adding large and complicated numbers together with ease...he may be scarier than his brother in this respect...maybe i can hire him to teach algebra when the time comes...

i lost a pound...i was so very proud of that lost pound i celebrated and suspect it came back and brought some friends...le sigh...but we must remember it is not a sprint but a marathon...not a six pack but a half rack...

which i suspect is half the problem...

anne lamott suggests to take the task of writing bird by bird...i can really appreciate this as my approach to weight loss seems to beer by beer...not really, but it seems like it...seriously, i kid...kinda...beer by beer...that's pretty funny, though...IF YOU'RE W.C. FIELDS!

anyhow, all is well and i've missed you terribly...i simply have no time to write wherein i can arrange a thought without being interrupted...it is excruciatingly awful to have a train of thought interrupted...as i get older i find i just can't switch gears that easily...

and we plan on kittens in the spring...who am i fooling...

i need a laptop and a locking door...right...please, do excuse me while i laugh myself silly...

the great american novel is just gonna have to wait...

which is good because all my current ideas are crap...well, and the not so current ones, too...

no matter, i have you...my captive audience, devoted and true...

you are still here, aren't you?

hello? hello?

x.

defending your life

defending your life is on hold until i can adequately process the fact that the house wine here for years, the wine i *discovered* coincidentally JUST HAPPENS TO BE the same wine my own mother knew all about and favored lo so many years ago coupled with the fact that my favorite sitcom on television is the only show grandma billie (with whom i have very very very little contact) watches at all!

who. knew.

and

no. wonder.

great american novel my ass...there are SO no original ideas left!

next friday.

ugh. it takes so long to make it back here these days...

but i'll catch you up with a few highlights of the week...

on halloween we braved the cold for trick or treating...the duke was a civil war union general...at first his jacket turned out to look like something captain merill stubing would wear for a formal occasion on the love boat...

but after a few tweaks, a bunch more glue, little less gold braid, and a few glasses of wine he looked terrific!

wingman went as a quidditch player and looked very cute...i made the robe a few years ago and only had to hem it...the only problem was he got so attached to the black fingerless gloves that went with the costume that he has worn them constantly since...along with a lot of black...and his striped skull cap...

can i tell you.

he's five and i can't really imagine what real adolescent experimenting will bring...

why do i think there is eyeliner in his future?

and what is it about halloween that brings out the inner hoochie in girls and women?...i mean, really?...if i saw one bare middrift on a five year old i saw a million!!!...and when they become barely legal it gets much worse...oh, it's hoochieween!!!...look, i'm hooker for a day!!!...whee!!!

and we wonder why there's no woman in the white house yet...

i don't...i figure in every woman's life there's at least one hoochieween costume...but more importantly at least one hoochieween costume picture...enough said.

myself, i plead the fifth.

and i'm sorry, but there are some people who should just NOT be wearing unstructured mostly mesh costumes...i say know your limitations when it comes to many things...but especially so in the arena of the "naughty (insert profession of your choice)" costume...

scary.

also this week i discovered you tube...oh my god you can find almost anything on there!!!...the lord of the ring came in the back where the computer is and i had the headphones on...he said

"what are you doing?"

"oh, my god i've just discovered you tube!!...it's totally cool!!...i just watched an old al stewart concert video...he was singing year of the cat live!!...can you believe it!!...next i'm gonna watch stevie nicks and lindsey buckingham when they reunited and sang on the david letterman show!!"

"oh, really?"

"what can i say?...i come late to technology"

"yeah, and then this is what you choose to use it for"

party pooper...

no matter, because i've recently discovered a crop of prince videos that i'm dying to watch!

and because i'm on a roll i will relay to you the following conversation from yesterday...i was having my near daily exchange with the duke about how he needs to quit dawdling and get his school work done...to which he responded with what he thought was a humorous response

"yeah, yeah i'm gettin' to it...keep your shirt on, lady"

then the lord of the ring piped up from his office

"duke!...do not call your mother *lady*!"

then from my computer i responded

"yeah!...you have no business calling me a lady!"

"oh good lord, honey, you know what i meant!"

at this point the duke closed the door that separated the lord of the ring and me from him...

i'm assuming he finished his work and fed himself lunch but zz top was on you tube so i have no idea what he did the rest of the afternoon...

okay, ha ha, i keed, i keed...what kind of mother would i be if i spent the afternoon watching zz top on you tube not knowing what my child was up to?

it was really the cars.

x.

defending your life

middle school: mean girls

it took me a long time to realize i was bullied in middle school...oh, and by the way, when in the hell did i start calling it "middle school?"...i'm from the central valley, k-fed country, home of wine in a screw cap jug...it was called JR. HIGH for criminy sakes...

"middle school" sounds like you own horses...

any. way. moving right along, there were two girls who verbally abused me for two years solid...and i suppose since i wasn't getting the shit kicked out of me or my chemin de fer bag stolen i didn't consider it "bullying"...

but that's what it was...and it sucked...they would say i smelled like pee in some *bit* they would do about three or four times a week...

"hey mg #1, do you smell that?"

"what, mg #2?"

"that smell"

"what smell?...oh you mean the pee smell?"

"yes, mg #2...the pee smell...i wonder where it's coming from?"

then they would both turn and look directly at me...

as you can imagine the students around this exchange would giggle and laugh...every single time...i'd like to say it got old, but since i was the object of it, it never really did...

we had some sort of science class together and in some act of stupidity, cruelty, or naivete whenever it was time to group up the teacher would always group me with the mean girls!...again, do they not notice what goes in their classrooms?...do they not care?

so, for one particular project we had to collect gutter water from in front of each of our respective houses and compare the findings on slides...like how they were different or the same or whatever...

gutter water...you can see where this is going...

so, we get to school the day of the project and i had my jar of gutter water and i put it on my desk...

so of course, mg#1 pipes up

"oh, there's no drinking in class, x"

ha ha...

so it comes to the time of the project and i have my jar of water and the mean girls don't have anything...so i ask

"where is your gutter water?"

"oh, we don't drink gutter water"

ha ha ha.

AGAIN, i'm sure, i mean i must have thought this was getting old at the time, but intimidation coupled with an already low self-esteem coupled with JR. HIGH does things to your brain...

so when they were done laughing, mg#1 says

"well, since you ask, we don't have any gutter water in front of our houses because where we live there are no gutters"

obviously i'm confused and so i engage them further...god, i was a slow child...

"how is that possible?"

"well, where we live there are no gutters because there are no sidewalks"

"yeah, where we live there are no sidewalks because we don't want just any old person to be able to walk in front of our houses"

oh. good. lord...if it were the re-written movie version i would have at this point said

"oh yeah, if i lived in the trailer park under the overpass i suppose i wouldn't want anyone to walk in front of my trailer house to see where i lived either"

but this was in real time 1983...and the truth of the matter was that they lived at the country club where there were actually no sidewalks, and i really actually at one point lived in the trailer park under the overpass...

so as it happens in both real life and in the movies, since i had the jar of gutter water i did the project and they copied my work...and the teacher was either too stupid, too cruel, or too naive to care...

it went on and off like this for the two years of JR. HIGH and then we went on to high school...i had absolutely no dealings with mg#2 (mg#1 went somewhere else) the four years of high school other than to wonder from afar at her continued popularity despite her PROMINENT though apparently noticeable to no one other than me FACIAL HAIR!

i kid. you. not.

the world is an explicable and cruel place...but rarely to those who actually deserve it...

they had to come up with the whole *the meek shall inherit the earth* because there somehow has to be something to make up for jr. high and high school for the majority of us who peaked much much MUCH later on...

but despite my high school respite from the mean girls, as it happens in both real life and in the movies, they do show back up once more later on in our tale...

but, that's a story for another day...

friday.

oh my goodness if i could just sleep a whole night who KNOWS what i could accomplish...

le sigh.

lately my nose is so stuffed at night it wakes me up...and last night right before i woke up i was having my recurring dream (not the math dream THANK GOD) that i'm trying to put my contacts in but they are really huge and too big to fit over my eyes...

and i'd get up and do something productive or watch t.v. or something but i'm afraid of the dark...

so i lay there...and then right about the time i start to drift off a few hours later the lord of the ring starts to snore...

i've got errands to run and costumes to finish and it's family movie night so i'm off...

but don't forget, it's the great pumpkin charlie brown is on at 8 pm tonight...

x.

defending your life

middle school: the purse

god i was just a dork...a dork with a cowlick...

anyhow, this particular middle school remembrance involves me losing a purse...my favorite purse...grandma billie bought me this purse when i was visiting her...it was white with polka dots and it was totally *in* that year...definitely a first for me...

so at school one day i lost it!...i was devastated...i checked the office once or twice, no luck...then about the second or third day of it being gone during the morning announcements on the p.a. i hear "there's been a purse turned in at the office"

i just knew it was mine!...the class just ended so i raced to the office...now, in my middle school as in many it was the popular people who got all the fun jobs...like reading the announcements and planning the dances and getting out of class to do errands for teachers...

it's like the teachers were all in on it, too...this whole idea that the popular and the beautiful somehow just deserved all these perks...were the teachers never young once?...or were they just intimidated by people they knew they never were?

so of course the girl running the announcements was there...the most popular girl in the entire school...i go in and say i was the one who lost the purse...

"oh, can you describe it?"

"yeah, it's white with polka dots"

"okay, what's inside...we have to ask that too"

i can't say anything...i'm just standing there...

"well, what's inside...you tell me i'll look and then it's yours...i can't just give it to you in case you saw the outside"

"monopoly money"

"what?...what did you say?"

"monopoly money...there's monopoly money inside"

"monopoly money?...you have got to be kidding me"

so she either doesn't believe me or just thinks it's too dorky to consider and starts to unzip my purse...i should mention there are at least one or two of her friends hanging around waiting for her...

so yeah, there's an audience...

and yeah, she unzips my purse and pulls out a wad of monopoly money...

what, like you never played "bank" with your younger sibling when you were in middle school and then forgot to take the money from your purse...

she is holding the money up and howling with laughter...her friends have joined her and i'm just standing there wishing to be any. where. else.

she's almost done laughing when she spies something else and says

"looks like you have a lot of money here...but i guess if you had to you could write a check!"

and yes, she then pulls out a homemade checkbook...you know, from the "bank"...

finally the warning bell rings for the next class so she stuffs everything back into my purse and hands it over...

"count it if you want, but it's all there"

of course she can barely get this out because she's laughing so hard...and then she and her friends leave the office howling with laughter...

i must say that i learned a bit about karma the next day when she was reading the announcements and came across the name of a girl i had had in class...this girl had the unfortunate last name of "pekar" pronounced "pea-car"

of course she didn't know that and pronounced it quite differently...which of course made her the center of laughter and teasing for quite some time for her mistake...

if it were the movies or i had suddenly grown some balls i would have walked up to her and said "who's laughing now, beyotch!" and then tossed my cowlicked hair over my shoulder and walked away...

i know i know, they didn't say beyotch back then...but in my fantasy i invented it right then and there...which made me instantly popular...and got me a free makeover...and a dance with the boy in the brown button up sweater who read homer at lunch and with whom i fell in love after dissecting a pig together...

but he's a story for another day.

breakfast of champions.

so it's wingman's snack day at school this afternoon...

you cannot imagine how much excitement this produces...he's been looking forward to it all month...

he chose teddy grahams, big red grapes, chocolate milk...

he gets to pour the milk and enlist two friends to help him pass it all out...

and yes, this is a very political process...who you choose really matters a LOT...and if you promise to choose someone in return for something and then don't, well it's bad news...and if you yourself get passed over?...it's just a heartbreaking process any way you slice it...

kinda like the mob...or high school...

anyhow, wingman gets picked a LOT...so that's good...makes him feel important...the duke said to him yesterday

"everyone picks you to help pass out snack, huh?"

"yeah...well, everyone except ellie"

ellie?...who's this ellie?...and what the hell's ellie's problem?

so i say

"is ellie a nice girl?...do you like her?"

and i didn't mean *like* like...i just meant, like as in they are friendly with one another...

but man you should have seen the look on wingman's face...he couldn't even speak!

apparently he *like* likes her...even though she *never* picks him to help pass out her snack...

sounds about right.

i'm too old for this.

i'm working on halloween costumes for the next few days...the duke is going as a civil war union army general, wingman is going as a harry potter quidditch player...i have the quidditch robe that i made a few years okay and i need only to tweak it...

i got a navy blue blazer and a black hat for the duke...if i turn up the collar and add some gold trim and some buttons here and there, plus the sash, i've got a costume...

i'm still waiting for the year someone decides to go as a ghost, but i'm not holding my breath...

though, this year's costume making doesn't seem like a lot of work...in fact i feel as though i'm getting off easy...

as you can understand, this makes me very nervous...

x.

dinner tonight is being replaced by something i like to call defending your life (i love albert brooks...don't you love albert brooks?...don't feel bad, i meet so few people who do...that should tell you something right there)...little vignettes of my life growing up to properly illustrate the origins of my silly mortal ness....

defending your life

grandma billie

i visited the bag lady in paris' mother, grandma billie, for six weeks one summer...the summer before seventh grade i believe...anyhow, at that time grandma billie was still a cocktail waitress on sunset in l.a...she drove a big powder blue cadillac with white leather seats...her husband drove a burgundy cadillac with dark brown leather seats...

it was in the burgundy cadillac that my older sister and i were quite often whisked to the place where my grandmother worked and allowed to sit at the bar knocking back shirley temples...as many as we wanted...

(we *could* stop this particular story right there and keep some therapist in car payments...but, just for giggles, let's proceed)

we went out to dinner every single night...every night somewhere different...we had to dress for dinner, skirts and stockings...the works...she always had a half carafe of the house chablis and a side of ice (house chablis?...i learned much later, the HARD way, what a headache in a bottle that was)...and yes, she poured the wine in the glass with the ice...

and she drank a beer every single morning upon rising...in fact about the second or third morning was when i noticed her going to the refrigerator, pulling out a can of beer, and slipping something over it...

"grandma, what's that?"

"oh honey, these cans are so cold in the morning i made this beer cozy to slip over them so grandma's hands don't freeze"

"oh...well, it's nice"

was i slow child?...or just socially inept?...nice?...okay forget that it was BROWN STRETCHY TERRYCLOTH!...because no matter how you slice it, that's just messed up...but stretched over a morning can of beer?...

nice.

and if there's anything more to say about that i just don't know what it is...

except i must now disclose that when i myself served alcohol for a time i'd be up late and when i'd finally get up in the late late morning i would have a glass of chardonnay with my breakfast...

the apple really doesn't stumble far from the tree, does it?

can you hear me now?...good.

forgive my absence...i've been experiencing some technical difficulties...

not to mention job dissatisfaction as of late...

working with the duke is like working with a really short always on the edge of combustion boss who lives in perpetual middle management mania and misery...as you can imagine, it's a whale of a time here...

plus my neck has been out and i have a sinusy achy cold like thingy...

my theory is, for every time a mother gets away for some non-mother like fun she must pay for it when she returns...wings my ass...everytime my bell rings i just have twice the work when i get home...and then there's duke and his bad mood...

i go away for one evening and now here i am...a congested and yet also drippy put upon and pushed around quasimodo...

part of my evening away found me in a church for a wedding...as you can imagine in my station in life i don't have much call to be in a church...and this was a CHURCH church...there was no khalil gibran, no rumi, no guitar or indian flute music or drumming, no pro-liberal peace loving hippie hugging posters on the wall, no lesbian minister...

(warning: Judgmental with a capital J rant and Opinionated with a capital O somewhat emotion based and terribly simplistic rant and ramble ahead...proceed at your own risk)

no, this was the kind of church that gives it to you straight...the man is the head of the household, the woman must submit, marriage is between a man and a woman...emphasis on the man...

and something about "cleaving" that sounds slightly dirty but considering the source i highly doubt it is...

good lord, really?...in this day and age?...i know we haven't, but i'd like to think that we as a people have gone farther than that by now...that as the world turns and changes so do we...that with the problems the world faces today somehow who chooses to yoke themselves together oughta not be so "important" in the grand scheme of things...

it's one thing to watch the debates and follow the votes, it's another to watch it unfold before your eyes...

and seriously, it's like some people didn't get the memo because i'm not sure i know of a household where the man is the leader and the woman submits...i mean, really...what would get done?...ha ha...he he...heh.

listen, it isn't as if i don't respect another's beliefs...far far from it...i believe everyone has a right to worship as they choose...e.v.e.r.y.o.n.e...it's just that anything that seeks to control and compartmentalize something so intimate and seemingly ever changing and endless as a personal relationship with the *creator* of their choice just seems wrong...

and it isn't just the marriage issue...because obviously that's one issue of many but so very indicative of what is going on...

it's just that i've been talking to the old guy upstairs and his female counterpart(s) for a lot of years now...though, it's not something i'd call a relationship, really...he doesn't write, he doesn't call, i've got to do all the legwork...but like anyone who's chased the beautiful and elusive just for the few moments they choose to shine their love light on you, it works for me...

and this is different too in that in this "non-relationship" there's no danger of me waiting by the phone only to end up having to sleep on a futon and navigate his roommates in the bathroom...or waiting all day to go out with him and ending up paying for all the drinks because he "forgot his wallet"...again...

but, i digress...

the thing is i have a hard time believing that god or jesus or anyone else in their position gives a rat's ass who marries whom...who wears the pants in the family...if you even wear pants...i believe there are bigger fish that are being fried...way. bigger. fish.

control by fear and intimidation is the coward's way out...it's the bully's creed...and just because you continue in the age old practice of the co-opting of one particular person's life and tweaking it to fit your own agenda and organization doesn't make it True...

i imagine jesus as a constant eye-roller...

and again, i was a guest in this church...i wasn't forced to go...in fact i wasn't even *technically* invited (a story for another day)...in some, okay many, respects it's so very rude of me even to complain and bitch and Judge...

it's just that you can damn well believe what happens in church (or mosque or temple) doesn't stay. in. church (etc. etc.) ...and never has...therein lies the eternal rub...

history shows us that...the present more than drives it home...

ask the druids and the witches...ask the israelis and the palestinians...ask the abortion doctors and the women they aren't allowed to serve...ask mark foley...

all right, i'll stop...you get the belabored sensationalistic somewhat juvenile point...

as far as i'm concerned, i am the word and the light in my life...i am who i am because i believe what i do and am free to change my mind without fear or recrimination at any moment...

i believe in gaia...i believe in jesus...and i believe in god...i talk to them on a regular basis and i shoot the shit with the saints and the angels, too...who are we if we aren't our beliefs?...who are we without spirit?...who are we without our *network*?...hell, if verizon has one you can bet those omnipotent beings of light have one too...

i'm not saying that this cannot be found in a church...or that those who choose to worship in a church are incapable of having this...far far from it...

but i am saying that it's awfully freakin' hard to find anything when someone deliberately refuses to offer a light...

x.

coffee table tablescape, 10:05 p.m. 10.17.06

1-2-3 draw- art book

can of colored pencils

white drawing paper

play treasure chest

julio franco and rocco baldelli baseball cards

pad of paper with drawing of our house complete with imaginary attic, and imaginary pets

water glass, half-full

partially eaten apple from the tree

now we are six by a.a. milne

homemade bookmark for above book...it's orange and folded and has HARRY POTTER written on it

wine glass

wine bottle

t.v. remote

cell phone

baby doll hat

boybarians are sound asleep

the news is nearly over (they said "seattle's own dave matthews"...good. lord. i can hardly wait to make a name for myself and buy a house in the emerald city...then suddenly i'm never-more not from a cow town in california!!!)

we are here.

x.

see you in the funny papers...

as a daily newspaper reader i also read the comics...

i don't know why because they are rarely funny and mostly really dorky...

but today, oh my god it was like the comics gods were peering down and pointing their fingers right. at. me.

unfortunately, i will have to relate them to you in text as i don't know the first thing about linking or anything like that...

life in hell by matt groening (the little guys wearing fezs)

before this relationship goes any further, there are some scary things you should know about me...i'm cranky, mean, explosive, and erratic...

that's not scary.

i'm negative, sour, vicious, and vindictive...

that's not scary.

i'm paranoid, histrionic, self-obsessed, and delusional...

that's not scary.

but i promise i will never leave you...

AIEEEE!



guess which one is me.

and

baby blues by jerry scott & rick kirkman

mom and dad are in the kitchen talking

mom: zoe and hammie are over at keesha's house doing homework, so it's double-quiet around here.

dad: double-quiet?

mom: yeah. quiet because they're not making noise, and quiet because i'm not yelling at them for making noise.



can i tell you.

oh, another thing i was reading in the paper was a big article on math curriculum and standards different approaches to teaching etc. etc. etc..

in fact they had the same subject on the morning radio program i listen to, too...

i am decidedly math-phobic...but as a teacher i've had to really talk myself down from that ledge and rise to the occasion...it sucks and makes me break out into a sweat each time we come to a new concept but somehow the job gets done...(isn't your faith in me just bursting with that statement?)

so anyhow, back to the article, they were suggesting getting back to the basics...quit with all this conceptual *art* math and start doing drills again...

i'm not so into the drills...i figure you learn it then you keep going back to it here and there and explain why you'll need it in the future and you're good...like you don't just learn to add and subtract or to multiply and divide and that's that...no, you use addition and subtraction and multiplication and division in nearly every other arena when moving on in learning math...you learn it and then constantly use it from then on out...

but i see what they were saying...they are suggesting we should not only learn it, but drill it in...the national council of teachers of mathematics says that fourth graders should multiply whole numbers fluently and second graders should quickly recall the sum of two plus five...

so because i am human and apparently base a lot of my self worth in what my children can and cannot accomplish i did the following:

"hey wingman (kindergarten), what's two plus five?"

"um, um, um, 6! i mean 7!"

"hey duke (fourth grade) what's five times seven?"

"35"

booh-yah!

okay, so maybe i need to get a life but at least my kids can do math...

(and just as aside...i cannot stand when people drill my kids, especially the duke, because we homeschool...like a *test* to see if my child is the one getting left behind...it's really really annoying and rude and above all condescending...but *i* can do it because they lived inside my body for 9 months and like that's not really annoying and rude?)

anyhow, moving right along...we didn't have the green chile beef stew last night because the recipe suggested that it was much better made the day before and reheated...so we'll have it tonight instead of pizza for family movie night...

instead the lord of the ring got pho for us...i love pho...and for an ass backwards military hick town, we've got some really really good pho going on...

happy friday!

x.

p.s. if i ever say "booh-yah" again please shoot me.

and, is that even how it's spelled?

making your own mistakes: priceless

so we've got a family member who's quite ill...terminal cancer...my father's sister to be exact...we are not close with her due to time and distance and all that...but she is my father's sister, my aunt, and it is sad nonetheless...

so my father called and told me and then called back awhile later, kinda concerned...

"you know, honey, while the women in my family haven't been particularly hearty, this doesn't have anything to do with you...she has this for her own reasons, it's not a family thing...you're going to be fine"

"dad, i've got enough mental illness to keep me busy...i don't have time to worry about cancer"

"oh, honey, you don't suffer from any mental illness...you've just got kids"

"yeah, so is that what you tell yourself?"

to his credit, he laughed...

see that's what i love about my father...he laughs when there's pobably a lot more he'd like to say...no parent likes to think their children have problems, or that their children think they may have problems...

but he takes it in stride...we're both nuts, he knows this...whattayagonna do?

but that's what i love about both my parents...they accept me as i am...they don't tell me what to do and they don't expect me to be any different than who i am...they don't try to talk me out of how i feel and they don't try to tell me i'm someone i'm not...

they recognize their own flaws and allow me to have mine...my father laughs when there's so much more he could say to try to *fix* what i might have broken...

i am flawed and at times broken and a lot of the times wound incredibly tight...they see this, at least i suspect they do, and never once do they suggest i should be any different...whether they like what they see or not...

they have never told me how to parent, how to homeschool, or how to live...

i am sure they have wanted to...i am sure things have been "suggested"...but the expectations of who i am supposed to be have always resided with me...

this has been a bigger gift than i ever realized...because i have been able to make my own decisions without fear of disapproval i have been allowed to grow at the pace i've needed...

we should all be so lucky...lucky enough to chart our course and not have it questioned at every turn...to be able to move at the pace and in the direction we are meant to go...not to have to fulfill the expectations or broken dreams of another...

because as humans we rationally know we can't learn from the mistakes of another...it's as parents that this rationale comes into incredible question...

as a parent, i think i do a pretty good job...i do worry, though, that i may not be able to keep from *suggesting* things to my children a little more than is healthy...as a mother of young children this is necessary...

though, how will it be as they grow?...will i be able to help myself?...especially through the teen years when they resemble toddlers more than adults in terms of the pace of their growth and emotional development?

how will i stop myself from marching right over and picking them up when they stumble as i did when they were little?...how will i help telling them how to do something *right* when they've done it the exact *wrong* way as i did when they were little?

i don't know, for now i am *working* on it...because i am remembering how it felt to be able to make those big decisions and not have anyone stand in my way...how it felt to feel as though i knew what i was doing and not have anyone tell me i didn't (i will let you in on the worst kept secret in the world; mostly i didn't)

how it felt to fall because of my own misstep, not because i got tripped up on another's expectation...

my children are 9 and 5...i've got some time...but i know it isn't much time...there's never enough time when you're a parent...

and i can just see the day i sit by the phone DYING to call and *help*...DYING to *fix* whatever is broken...DYING to impart my *wisdom*...

good god, please just let me be able to just. sit. there. and wait...to not pick up the phone... but rather wait for the ring i can dare to hope will come...

x.

dinner tonight

green chile beef stew

a whole pound of green chiles gets roasted for this recipe...along with tomatoes, onions, garlic, cumin, beef...they cook together slowly for three hours...i can smell it already!!...i'll serve it with corn tortillas...

happy july 2nd! and now july 3rd!

this post was started yesterday and finished this morning...excuse the wonkiness...

imagine my surprise when i turned to the new week in my lesson planner and found it was july 2nd!

they really need to pay the three year olds who make these calendars better or something...

friday movie night turned out to be great because we happened upon a great movie...5 children and it...what a sweet, charming, movie...i don't think it ever made it to the theatres here, it's british...anyhow, if you get a chance to see it please do...

so after we got the movie i had to stop for a few things at the store...okay, mistake number one was stopping at this particular store...this is the *other store*...this is the store where i always run into trouble...i think it's because i spend the entire time snooping in other people's carts and silently (though it sounds REALLY loud in my head) lamenting the state of our national *diet*...

good lord i am amazed at what people buy!...better yet what people consider food!...it's just no wonder at all that america is fat and unhealthy and losing the war on terror!...

well, i suppose we can't really blame our lame *foreign policy* on hot pockets and smuckers uncrustables...

i'm just sayin' is all.

anyhow, since i spend the entire time judging others at this store it only stands to reason that i will eventually run into trouble...

so we're at the checkout and i put my items including wine and beer on the counter...the checkout guy who is older than me says

"you know what i'm going to ask you...do you have your id.?"

no one ever cards me...ever...except when i come to this store...it's weird...which can only mean one thing...that the youth who shop this particular store in their teens and twenties already look like they are mid thirties greying grumpy perpetually sweaty stay at home mothers...

so i say (this is the point when i always get in trouble...when i open my mouth)

"are you flirting with me?...because no one ever asks for my id."

ha ha...i'm being funny...right?

apparently not because that's when he looked up with this grim slightly horrified look on his face and that noise that records make when you abruptly grab the needle off and stop the song came over the loudspeaker...

"um. no. it's just policy"

and then...

wait for it...

"...ma'am"

wow. no really, thanks for that!...that's just nice...ma'am?...ma'am!?...what the fuck! he's got one foot in the grave and he's calling *me* ma'am?...

moving right along, yesterday, during school we were reading about some ancient roman leaders and some guy named tarquin superbus came on the scene...i was like

"super bus?...oh my god that's awesome!"

the duke said

"um, i don't think that's how it's pronounced...i think it's superbus"

"it is, though...it says right here"

"let's look at the pronunciation guide"

"okay...look, duke...right here su per bus...man that is awesome...who knew...super bus...what a great name for a band...tarquin superbus!"

"um, mama, that's not what it says...you're missing the h and the emphasis is on per...not the whole thing"

so i look again and sure enough it says right there in black and white

suh per bus

he was gracious enough to not give me the look...

but you just know this is going down in the book when he decides to write it...

x.

dinner tonight

buttermilk waffles with maple syrup
thick peppered bacon
eggs sunnyside up
crispy hashbrowns with jalapeno and onion
fresh orange juice

yes folks, per the duke's request, it's breakfast for dinner!

if it's friday it must be family movie night...

oh joy!...i can't WAIT to see what lost gem from the 80's we'll be watching tonight!

seriously, i love family movie night...but there are so few *family movies* left that we haven't seen we are digging deep and coming up short...

i can't wait until they're old enough that we can change family movie night to thursdays and watch the office together...no video stores...no stupid movies with insipid characters and sappy happy endings...just michael scott and all of his profound wisdom...i'm chuckling already...

because now we've nearly come to the point wherein beethoven (the 7 million movies made about the big old dog who wrecks the house the neighborhood the town but they STILL KEEP HIM!) and all of its sequels is looking good...

time to get netflix...

if only i wasn't so afraid of convenient economical technology offering so many choices i couldn't possibly narrow it down...

oh, and re: the duke of fun and my using him as fodder for my blog, i have not yet figured out a course of action...but i can say in my best tootie ramsey voice

"there's gonna be troubbbblllleee!"

should it come down to it i will try to protect you all as accomplices, but i can't promise anything...

x.

dinner tonight

pizza

sometimes we make our own, sometimes we hock one of the boybarians and get a pizza from round table...but mostly we get a take and bake from our fancy grocery store and it's very good...and cheap...and for now since the boybarians are still of reasonable size and hormones, there are leftovers...what more could you ask for?

don't answer that.

when you're on a roll you might as well butter it...

continuing on the rant from yesterday i just want to say i do not care for skinny jeans...

i did not care for them twenty years ago when i was skinny and i don't care for them now...i won't go so far as to say they are dumb, but they don't look good...even if you are skinny...

they make you look like the cartoon version of robin hood when he dresses up like the stork at the archery competition...

not a good look...still, maid marian falls for him!...i cannot pretend to understand the female mind...

so i needed new underwear and went shopping the other day only to find out they stopped making the underwear i liked...

of course they did...and in their place they have some sort of seamless microfiber business...

now i understand microfiber has its uses, i do...but can't a girl get a simple pair of cotton underwear?...why does everything have to be so fancy?

i realize, of course, that if i bought my underwear in places that don't sell them in plastic packages of 3 right next to the grout cleaner and the rain boots i might have better luck...

but i don't...the reasons are many, the logic thin...

so i browse around trying to find a replacement...i just want underwear...i don't want to make a statement...i don't need to advertise anything...i am long past the stage of show and tell...i just want to cover the bits and be on my way...

i look and look and they are all low rise bikini thong blah blah blah...and none are in black...why don't they sell black cotton underwear anymore?...i like black...it suits my cranky mood...but no black...at least not in the utilitarian undies...

no they have plenty of white and pink and all these incredibly ugly colors i can't imagine liking past the age of 12...

and then i spy what might be my only solution in this case...boy shorts...

now...let me just say that boy shorts seem like a good idea...and i'm sure on the right body they are most excellent...but i am skeptical...it seems like an awful lot of material if i were to actually get my correct size...but still, i am willing...desperate...

until i see the colors...good lord...they are all hideous pre-tween bubble gum colors...with white bands likes boys underwear...they are awful!

i buy them...

i buy them because i need underwear and i'm there and because at least for now i'm not going anywhere else...

they aren't so bad...rather like those big girl panties you used to get as a little kid...only bigger...and uglier...

and now for the laugh of the day...

i had to take the duke of fun into the naturopath the other day...she was trying to assess what remedy to administer for some scalp issues he's been having...after about an hour of chatting and an exam she's nearly at the stage of deciding what will be best...just a few more questions to narrow it down...

"so...would you say that the duke is 'yielding' in nature"

can i tell you.

but at the time i thought it unseemly to fall down on my ass laughing and peeing my new ugly underpants for hours on end until the proper authorities were called in...

the duke is about as yeilding as pete doherty in re-hab...he's about as yeilding as charlie sheen at a gambler's anonymous meeting...he's about as yeilding as george bush *anywhere*...

boy is not yeilding.

he is a taurus...he is the firstborn son of a somewhat ALBEIT IN A LOVING WAY controlling neurotic mother...

it is not in his best interest to be yeilding...plus, i bet it's just not any fun...

i put all of this in a very very very respectful and positive way and she administered the appropriate rememdy...

i couldn't wait to get home and share it with the lord of the ring...this will work for a laugh for about another 4.5 days and then fall into a not very funny but still slightly clever one word insided joke for another few years at least...

OH MY GOD!

the duke of fun on his way to do his latin *just* asked, and i quote

"do you write anything about me on your blog?"

shit.

what do i do! what do i say!

i lied.

"no"

"good"

"why?...would that make you upset?"

"i don't know"

then he left the room to do his work...

um, just a guess but I'M BETTING IT WOULD!!!

good. lord. i may have just lost my best material!

sure i got out of it this time with a well placed lie...but i know from personal experience that only works so long...

shit....where was i?

oh, yeah, the yeilding thing...

i need to go.

x.

dinner tonight

bowtie pasta with ham and peas
salad
apple blueberry pie

the pasta with ham and peas has a very very light cream sauce and parmesan...it's a nigella recipe...i just love her and i LOVE her recipes...they are easy and always delicious...though i've never cooked from how to be a domestic goddess, i hear that book was a bit wonky in the recipe department...but her later books are fab...

anyhow, wingman requested salad...he likes simple salads so a green salad with cucumber and peppers sounds good...the lord of the ring made the pie yesterday and it's so delicious!

the milkman cometh...

bring on the jokes, people!...we now have a milkman...

in an ever increasing effort to know where my food is from we now have our milk delivered from big strapping men in striped overalls...well, that's what i've heard since they come at the crack of dawn and i've never actually seen them...

the whole recent e. coli scare has really driven home the point of trying to source fresh local produce, meats, and dairy...i've spent this past summer on this and i am so glad i've found as many resources as i have out here...

but not as happy as i am that i haven't had spinach in about 6 mos!!!...for awhile there i was getting it all the time...bleh.

speaking of food, well dieting and exercise and other bodily tortures, i was reading this magazine that i get *solely* because it was 9 dollars a year and i am addicted to magazines...it has *some* good women's health information here and there but mainly it just has teeny tiny women talking about their weight loss and how hard they have to work at it...

blow. me.

i understand we are all runners in the same race (or sitters on the same couch) as women...it's hard to accept our bodies as we are...man i remember being early 20's with not an ounce of fat on me with cute figure flattering clothes being in clubs and SUCKING IN MY STOMACH!...good god i'd like to smack that girl!!!

BUT the whole whining about how hard you work to stay thin and healthy all the while having the benefit of personal trainers, private chefs, NOT TO MENTION photoshop and airbrushing well then...it's just wrong...

i still read the magazine, though...because apparently along with not being as thin and cute as i was when i was younger, i'm also apathetic and largely indifferent to the things that bug me...

so i'm reading it and there's some woman documenting what she eats in a typical day so they can analyze where she *goes wrong*...

well, i'm no expert but i can tell you right now that skipping breakfast and stopping for a grande caramel latte with whip every morning ain't doin' you no favors, laurie k. from denver, co....

so they go through the day and the nutrition expert *weighs in* (ha ha that's mine!) and says blah blah blah and then

"if you cut out the roll at lunch it's a savings of 200 calories a day!"

one roll?...200 calories?

wow. kinda puts the bottle of wine at dinner into perspective, doesn't it?

but on a *lighter note* (ha ha again, mine!) it's a good thing i don't even care for rolls!

indeed.

well, i'd love to sit here and talk about my accomplished drinking abilities but i've got a latin lesson to give and a wingman to distract from running by said latin lesson dressed in his roman gladiator suit yelling "attack! attack!"

oh, and i also have a date with the treadmill...

that is unless i can find something to distract me from my workout...

we can only hope.

x.

dinner tonight

tacos

the boybarians are thrilled!...one of their favorites for sure...spicy ground beef, crispy, salty, corn tortillas fresh from the frying pan, chopped cilantro and tomatoes, shredded cheese, sliced avocado, diced red onion, fresh salsa, tapatio hot sauce...

i really gotta get up earlier in the morning...

but as you can see by my absence that just isn't happening...

sigh...

anyhow, i have a rare few quiet task free moments so i thought i'd check in...

oh, and

happy autumnal equinox!!!

i was going to make pumpkin doughnuts in honor this first day of autumn (and the 2nd birthday of my lovely neice, the flea...but i didn't get *actual* permission to wish her a happy birthday blog style to i'm just slipping this in) this morning but i had to take wingman to the dentist...i'm going to make them later or tomorrow morning...

and this weekend we need to take a walk to gather stuff for our nature table...

i love fall...

so the duke of fun has become quite the fan of this particular band...they are whiny and annoying and trite but he's 9 so whatevs...

anyhow, he wanted me to look them up on the web so he could check them out...so we're on the site and we see that you can watch some videos of theirs...

now, we aren't the MTV generation around here...i mean sure, like in 1985 i totally rocked the MTV, but now i'm old and so is the lord of the ring and the boybarians are young so we have no relationship with the watching of videos...

i do know enough to know that a LOT has evolved (and i use that word lightly) in the world of videos...and that nowadays what you get on MTV is what you used to get on cinemax late night...

needless to say, i was a bit worried...so i say to the duke

"we can watch this, but if anything inappropriate comes on i want you to turn your head...okay?"

"okay"

so we click it on and are watching it and there comes a part wherein the band is in a car on the vegas strip...they are all singing and hanging out the windows of the car and climbing around and just being drunk and silly...

all of a sudden the duke shouts

"OH. NO. THEY AREN'T WEARING THEIR SEATBELTS!! TURN YOUR HEAD! TURN YOUR HEAD!"

can i tell you.

and so the parental mocking commences...i wondered how long it would take...

the worst part is he has the whiny song all stuck in his head and i have to live with him bopping about and singing it...

wingman isn't much better...today i was on the computer on one of the gossipy sites and there was a picture of mariah carey performing...well, for some reason she feels the need to wear a bra like top and boy shorts with a robe like thing while doing so...lordy...there are just some things that should be left to the imagination...

anyhow, i didn't know wingman was behind me until i heard him running away shouting

"duke! duke! mama was looking at girls in their underwear on the computer!!"

fantastic.

that's just great because then it was time to take him to school...i can only imagine...and it's probably "share day" too...

so after that bit of fun i was talking to my little sister on the phone and she was reminding me about a picture my grandmother had in a frame in her living room...

see my aunt had given her a frame for her birthday...and it had a fake picture in it that you're *supposed* to remove and replace with one of your own...

only my grandmother kept the fake one in there...when asked about it months later she said that since there aren't any good pictures of me and since the woman in the photo looked like me, she was just keeping it and thinking of it as me...

okay, so there are so many levels of wrongness to this whole thing it's going to be hard to know where to begin...

first of all, yeah, so i take a bad picture...but she was my grandmother!...she's supposed to not care...and second, hello!, the woman in the picture was 40 if she was a day!...

i was maybe 15...shit, i actually can't remember how old i was because i didn't even remember the incident until my sister walked me through it...gee...i wonder why it is i can't remember things...

this along with the relationship i have with my boybarians just further highlights how it is i have come to my current mental state...

no wonder i don't get up earlier than i do...

x.

dinner tonight

spicy red beans with coconut rice
salad

last week was the week of beef. it's what's for dinner. so i've been doing more beans and grains dishes this week...though the recipe says spicy, judging from the ingredients i don't think it will be too spicy for wingman...coconut rice is a favorite...of course it won't be cooked well because i'm cooking it, but with the coconut milk in the dish it doesn't seem to matter...

and in another matter all together, what to do with beets...sure they're good for you...but who really likes them?...good lord ever since that unfortunate canned beet incident in the second grade i really haven't had a moment's peace that included beets...ever...but then came the day that wingman was allowed to pull as many as he likes from the neighbor's garden...

oy vey...turns out he really likes pulling beets...

BUT!...beet risotto...oh. my. god...it's so delicious, and you can't even TASTE THE BEETS!...the recipe is actually beet and greens risotto from vegetarian cooking for everyone by deborah madison...so not only are there beets, there's also about a pound of greens...very healthy...very tasty...

even if you are not a vegetarian you should have this cookbook...it's amazing and the recipes are always delicious...

reason #34592 why i shouldn't leave the house...

it's been a long week of school...just now i feel as though i have a chance to sit down and say hello...

though it's probably because i'm supposed to be cleaning the house roasting a chicken preparing fettucine alfredo cucumber salad green beans a green salad garlic bread and a homemade italian plum tart...but first i have to pick the plums...

all by 4 pm today (the duke invited the granparental unit for dinner)

instead i am here...writing to you...finally...so, in a way, avoidance is a great motivator...

so we went to the store this morning...and of course i slept in and rolled out of bed and did little other than put on different clothes than the ones i slept in and said "oh heck this once i'll just head out...i never run into anyone i know anyway"

see, you shouldn't even *think* things like that...because then it's a given you will run into everyone you know AND their freakin' dressed to the nines reality show ready sister...

first i run into the only actual friend i have out here...which wasn't bad at all...we chatted...and our chat was just long enough for the lord of the ring to be unsupervised at the olive bar...

good lord that man and his fussy little plastic containers of olives, tapenade, peppers, whatnot...it's like crack for the foodie those olive bars...though i'm sure crack is considerably cheaper...

and it wasn't just the olives...because the olives are next to the breads...we needed a good loaf for our dinner tonight, but of course we can't just have one loaf because that will be eaten at dinner and then what will we make croutons out of later?...

indeed.

i am soooooooo thankful they moved the cheeses to the other side of that section of the store or i'd have to hock a boybarian just to get out of there!

though i must dislose the fact that the wine aisle is right next to the olive bar so i am not entirely inculpable (it's a word...i looked it up) in that respect...

of course then i proceed to run into two mothers from wingman's school...i don't have a clue who any of the parents are or what they look like because there aren't any social functions or gathering spots at pickup or drop off or anything like that...

can i just say THANK GOD!

sure, he's invited to all the birthday parties where the other parents are but i don't go...that's what i have the lord of the ring for...

anyhow, so the only way i knew the first one was a parent from wingman's school is there was a cart full of giggling girls calling his name...then she says

"oh we saw wingman, hi wingman...hi, i'm so and so's mom...so and so and so and so's friend here are in his class at school"

"oh. hi. my aren't you thin and pretty and dressed really nicely for having a baby on your hip and two kids in your cart one of which isn't even yours...is that perfume i smell?"

okay, so i didn't say that but boy if life was like the comics and you had that bubble over your head...

anyhow, so wingman gets that affected look on his face like, yeah, what ladies?...what's all the fuss?

he's not what one might call *charming* at times...especially when there's being a fuss made over him...

good thing women are always chucking dignity and whatever else for the gruff rude types...he shouldn't have any trouble at all...

so then we get our lunch and head upstairs to eat it before wingman has to go to school (12:30-3:00)

we're eating lunch and i'm saying to wingman

"i remember so and so's name but what's the other girl's name that was with her?"

he tells me her name and we are chatting and all of a sudden i kid. you. not. there's another thin, pretty, well dressed woman AGAIN WITH A BABY ON HER HIP chatting me up...she comes to our table and is like

"hi, i couldn't help but overhear (sure you could lady because you're obviously nosy...it's a human trait you should just accept it and move on) but i'm so and so's friends mom...hi wingman!"

"oh. hi. oh, we just saw your daughter downstairs with so and so and her mom"

oh. you saw my daughter?...here?...just now?...she's on a playdate with so and so"

"yeah, here...i just saw them downstairs"

some playdate..i know! why don't you send your daughter to come on over to play and i'll throw her into the minivan with all my other kids and we'll go to the store and then i'll 5 point harness her into a huge uncomfortable cart while i shop for a million hours...FUN!

and that mom looked like it was definitely news to her that her child wasn't at so and so's house...

what i would do if i actually had a life i do not know.

x.

dinner tonight

roasted chicken
fettucine alfredo
green beans
cucumber salad
green salad
bread
plum tart with vanilla ice cream

i am stuffing the chicken with garlic and lemons and basting the outside with butter...the fettucine alfredo and cucumber salad were the duke's request...both are so easy and good...especially the fettucine alfredo which has to be a recipe from the gods...pasta, cream, butter, cheese, i mean really?...the green salad and bread will round it out...

the plum tart is made with italian plums which are ripe just this week...we picked some earlier in the week and i made up a batch of liqueur to steep for the next few months...i've never made an actual tart in an actual tart pan, so we'll see how it goes...the plums are halved and then arranged prettily on top...

p.s. i have three words...

lime. chipotle. butter.

good lord i made this to accompany red snapper earlier this week and i just about fainted from the deliciousness of it all...

p.p.s yes, i have noticed i'm getting all paula deen on you with the amount of butter i am employing in my cooking...but i assure you, it's not all that much and i promise to round it out with some barley or something...

there's barley in beer, right?

snakes on a head...

the duke is sweet...

for latin he had to write a sentence in latin and in english that included at least three derivatives...

he wrote

The poet went to Argentina to see a movie.

what a sweet sentence...because i just assumed he'd write something along the lines of

The army bloodily and loudly defeated the enemy.

sometimes when he's singing devo songs really loudly while NOT doing his school work AND pestering his brother i forget that he can be a sweet and clever child...

wingman is in a phase now wherein he wants to know the truth...he's always asking really? when you tell him something...like he really really wants to know whether you're kidding or not...for instance yesterday i pulled a big twig with thorns out of his hair...his hair is so big and long and curly the most amazing things get caught in it...once he had a little wooden train car trapped in it...really...

anyhow, after i pulled the twig out later on in the day i said

"hey wingman, you've got something in your hair"

"what is it?"

"oh, i got it...it was a snake...boy it slithered away quickly!"

"really?"

(only he can't do his "r's" so it comes out willy?...which is willy cute but something we are definitely working on)

where as before he would have known i was kidding and just rolled with it...

he's becoming jaded in his old age...and very literal...i don't like literal...it's such a bothersome trait in people...because you can't bullshit with them...

plus when you take things literally, you tend to correct people...a lot...i don't like to be corrected...by anyone...

but especially not by someone i had to carry in my body and then expel in a painful and in my case always life threatening process...

and double especially not by the same someone who still needs me to help him wipe his butt...

it's a will dwag...

x.

dinner tonight

if i've got one cup of red lentils i've got a million...ditto on cans of garbanzo beans...so tonight's dinner comes straight from the cupboard...

dal
hummus
pita bread
sliced tomatoes and dry cured black olives

i love dal...the lord of the ring makes it better than i do, but i'll make it tonight...i have some fresh cayenne peppers i got at the farmer's market where we camped that i'd LOVE to put in there, but wingman wouldn't be able to handle that kind of heat...he likes some spicy stuff, but not *that* spicy!...so just a lightly spiced dal...

hummus is so good and healthy and easy...and good lord in addition to all the garbanzos i've got two bottles of tahini!...originally i thought of making falafel, but we don't have any parsley or any peanut oil and i'm continuing my *use what we have policy* so no store trips!...the pita is left over from camping and the tomatoes need to be eaten TODAY...the olives were at the back of the fridge and were largely forgotton about...boy are they good...

a killer whale of a good time...

so we're back and we had a really good time...

it was an absolutely beautiful setting and the boybarians got to play non-stop with good friends...among other activities, they got to go out in a row boat nearly into the waters of canada and fish...ling cod mostly...the duke caught two!...

we had lots of fresh fish cooked over the fire...it was delicious...

but the absolute highlight was the whale sighting...a HUMONGEOUS pod of orcas (including a baby!) passed right by our beach!...oh my goodness it was amazing!

and the absolute highlight of that absolute highlight was that the duke was out in the middle of it in the rowboat!!...the father of the family we went with and his son and sister-in-law and the duke were out there...they weren't more than 10 or 15 feet away!!!...

one orca even swam right under their boat!!

what a lucky kid...a once in a lifetime experience indeed!...

the rest of the time was the usual camping falderol...i wished for a kayak to paddle on the lake we camped at, though...it was very beautiful there indeed...and a little peace and quiet out on the water by myself would have been just the ticket...maybe next time...

we had our fill of s'mores and campfire songs and hot chocolate...wingman attempted at achieving *dirtiest little boy in the world* status...i think he may just have reached it...

we also had our fill of the disturbingly loud, rude, bad taste in music, horribly vulgar yahoos next door...oh my god...if you're single handedly trying to bring back the worst of the late 80's and early 90's you should just stay home...it should be illegal to expose impressionable young minds to that crap...

anyway, we're home and back to school...there's unpacking and laundry and the like...of course i'm sitting here telling you all of this so obviously none of it is getting done!!

it's raining a bit...i may go out later and check on the status of the italian plums...the lord of the ring says they are ripening fast and i want to get to them before they totally ripen...

i like to make a plum liqueur to serve at christmas and i don't want a repeat of last time...they were way too ripe when i made them and the liqueur was awful!!...too sedimenty and thick...and waaaaaayyyyy too sweet...blech...

there's a fine line when making a sweet liqueur...because there is a definite sweet level to consider...you don't want it cloying...well, unless you're a sixteen year old girl who doesn't know any better, i suppose...but that's a story for another day...if the fruit is too ripe to begin with you're doomed...

if i get to them just before they soften we will have a delicious liqueur come christmas...

and speaking of christmas (good lord did i just say that?)...yes, the christmas stuff is still in the hall upstairs...only 117 days 8 hours and 38 minutes till it gets moved!!

but who's counting?

x.

dinner tonight

in the continued quest to clean out the freezer and cupboards we will have the following...

stir fry with peppers, snow peas, and tofu over whole wheat chow mein noodles

i found the box of tofu in the cupboard...i purchased it a few months ago intending it for a miso soup i never made...the peppers i have left over from camping...a ton of them...i took them to cook with fish in case we caught any and we only used a few...same with the snow peas...the 1/2 box of noodles i have left over from a veggie chow mein i made awhile ago...boy were they good...nice and fat and soft...and they're whole wheat so that is a definite plus!

placenta stew anyone?

so did you know, because i did not, that you can actually pay someone to not only wash and massage your feet but also to scrape large pieces of dead skin off of them too?...

i had no idea...but that's exactly what happened this weekend during my first ever pedicure...a friend treated me to one as a late birthday gift...

big scrapes of skin...all dirty and curled up and lying on the towel...i have to say, it was disgusting...and slightly embarrassing...that anyone in the general vicinity could just look over and see my dead ass skin lying there...

despite the dead skin, it was terrific...i was so relaxed and my feet felt so good and my toes look very pretty...i had no idea what having pretty toes can do for one's outlook...it's very therapeutic...like a bottle of wine for the feet...

this week finds us preparing for a camping trip in the san juans...i am a little slow in getting us together but looking forward to it...

also, the boybarians got new bikes and helmets this week so we've been hitting the bike trail every night after dinner...it's been really fun...sometimes the lord of the ring and i walk while they ride and sometimes we ride with them...

the problem is we got rid of our extremely ancient mountain bikes and worn out helmets last year in the big u-haul purge...what we have are our lowrider 8 ball fat tire cruisers made by manny himself in venice beach that we rode at the beach in santa monica...

this is not the beach in santa monica...this is hills and gravel and about gazillion more pounds of fat than santa monica...

plus we don't have helmets...

mostly we walk...and when we walk there's the benefit of picking blackberries and making blackberry piebbler...a pie/cobbler combined...piebbler...

fresh blackberry pie tends to be on the soggy side, and i don't have a good cobbler recipe that doesn't include another fruit in addition to blackberries...and we only had about a quart of blackberries...

so, i did a piebbler...pie shell, blackberries, flour, sugar, and milk mixed up and poured over...very good...very easy...best piebbler ever!

school's going well...though latin is definitely getting more challenging...we're into written and oral translation now which translates into i'm beginning a study course of my own soon...i need to answer questions i have no answers to!...

story of my life.

the only latin i know comes from reading harry potter...and thus far i haven't needed to cast an *eat slugs* spell on anyone...yet...

news on the beast is thankfully mild...there haven't been any diva moments other than having to go across the pond to the big city to have an ac hose custom made because of course she can't have anything ready to wear...

but this means we have our air conditioning back just in time for the weather to turn cold...she does these things on purpose to keep me in my place...but i gotta say, driving that truck is so much damn fun it's definitely worth it!...

it's not unlike a dysfunctional love affair...having had some practice in that particular field event, i at least know what to expect...

but really, if you ever see me with a silly boys, trucks are for girls sticker on my back window just shoot me...

x.

dinner tonight

well, i'm doing a little experiment...it's called let's clean out the freezer, see what's in there, and create meals out of it...and hey, since we'll be gone for four days let's throw in the fridge too!...

i love nothing more than to listen to npr on a sunday afternoon and plan my menu for the week...browsing through cookbooks and recipes i've collected, making a shopping list, going to the grocery store...

that's all coming to a grinding halt lately...form is being replaced by function...my freezer is too damned full!...and it's huge!...beyond the two placentas in the very back, i have no idea what's in there...but whatever it is, there's a LOT of it!...so the challenge is to check out the contents, defrost, and create some meals...

and no, i won't be using the placentas..it's a very long story but they belong to the boybarians...they are waiting to be planted under a beautiful new willow...only willows are expensive and beyond that we are lazy...the thought of digging a hole deep enough (coyotes...enough said) sends me to the couch to rest...preferably with a cocktail...but, i digress.

so there they are...two placentas...and yes even though they aren't marked, i can tell them apart...

the duke's is the one in the target bag.

anyhow last night we had chicken with wild rice and some sliced fresh orange and red peppers...now, it must be said that the chicken with wild rice was an impulsive see sometimes i DO say YES!, dammit! purchase from costco...we go to costco for toilet paper and occasionally wander the aisles looking around...that place scares me...the food there is really big...

anyhow, if you wander the aisles you get tasters...this was one of the tasters...the duke LOVED it!...i think it reminded him of the food at camp...which he LOVED!...four enthusiastic mama, mama, mama, can we get some of this PLEASE!'s later i forced a cheerful SURE! and put it in the cart...

it wasn't bad for a salt lick disguised as food...

tonight there's a bag of peas i generally use for my bum neck that has my eye...there's leftover rice in the fridge from chinese take out this weekend and the last of the eggs from the farm down the road...i'm thinking a fried rice of some sort with some more sliced peppers left over from last night...

and hoping my neck doesn't go out in the meantime...

this is your brain. this is your brain on spongebob.

i made indian food for dinner last night...

chickpea curry
flatbreads stuffed with spicy potatoes
basmati rice
green beans

the curry was good...very spicy...i made the flatbreads and cooked them on a cast iron skillet...they were good, but i think they would be better with a bit more cooking time and eaten hot off the skillet...which is hard to do when you're making a bunch to accompany dinner...

i can't make rice to save my life...i don't know if it's my stove or what...but i can't make rice...and i've tried soooo many different methods...the only time it EVER turns out, is when i make hoppin' john on new year's day...and then i think it's because it's baked in the oven...plus there's the bacon...everything's better with bacon...

so, the rice was *okay* if you like it a bit *nutty* (read: undercooked) but i HAVE to get a rice cooker...the green beans were plain, just the way the boybarians like them...

tonight i'm making a pasta dish from a cookbook i've had for awhile...i haven't made anything from it yet, so tonight's the test...

penne with ricotta, orange, and rosemary
fennel and raddichio salad

it sounds like an interesting combination...the zest of the orange is used, and the rosemary is fresh...i have half a bulb of fennel and some raddichio left so another salad it is...but i'm getting balsamic at the store today so i think it will be even better this time...

i've been working on our curriculum for the official start to school in the fall...it's going to be a lot more one on one involvement than we've had in the past...generally, i give the lesson and with most things the duke then works independently...

our new curriculum is more intense...adding another language will be challenging at first, so will the new writing program...but i think once we get into a groove it will be smooth sailing...and since we will be working together much more, we can focus on the bitchy banter we sometimes engage in rather than all the work in front of us...

ah, the hormonal build up to full blown adolescence...there's just nothing like it in the world...

and that's just for me!...ha ha ha ha hmm...

wingman will still continue to go to the little school through the woods next door and starts in two weeks...he'll be a kindergartner and will go in the afternoon...he is very very excited and can't wait!...

some of you have wondered why i don't start homeschooling right away...well, the woman who runs the school next door is such a great teacher for his age group...very very patient and understanding...

patience is something i lack, for sure...though i'm certain i could have done pre-school and kindergarten with them, i am totally grateful for her and the opportunity she has provided...she's been a great influence on my boys' education and their eagerness to learn...

plus, i think it's important to learn to sit quietly in a circle and wait your turn with a bunch of other kids...i think if you learn those skills early on, you're ready for pretty much anything...

i never went to pre-school...i can't sit quietly in a circle to save my life and i hate to share...

the thing is though, we've been used to wingman being gone in the mornings...so it will be an adjustment in terms of being a distraction...not because he actively bothers the duke, just that the two of them in the same space generally spells trouble...

i'm definitely going to have to engage him in some lessons/projects that he can work on with limited assistance...i'd just have the duke do his schoolwork when wingman's gone in the afternoon, but i've found that afternoon is mush time in terms of brainpower...tackling math and latin and writing is better done in the morning...

his brain in the afternoon is not so much a sponge as it is a spongebob...emphasis on the bob...

right then...now that i've got the next few months sorted out i just have to figure out how to get through the rest of the day...

x.

hey, remember that one time when i thought you were dead!

so the night we got back from backpacking we were understandably exhausted...

i made a big meal, we had some wine, and then crashed...the night was a bit cool so we didn't turn on the fan...

in the middle of the night i rolled over and put my hand on the lord of the ring's shoulder...right away i knew something wasn't right...he wasn't sweaty...now this in and of itself is something of a miracle...i blame his english ancestors, i don't know why, but it sounds good...anyhow, he sweats when he sleeps and he wasn't...

then i noticed something else...actually the absence of something else...he wasn't snoring...now to be fair, he doesn't snore all the time...just most of the time...

immediately, i got that ice cold fear feeling...he wasn't sweating or snoring...now i KNOW something is wrong!...my mind was going a mile a minute!...i was thinking about how we had put a lot of strain on our bodies earlier and chased it with a big meal...

i literally thought, oh my god he's dead!

i couldn't move...i couldn't take my hand from his shoulder...i just lied there frozen in fear...so much so i couldn't even attempt to see if he wasn't dead...i couldn't do a thing...

then about 30 seconds later i started to call out his name...once then twice...nothing...i still couldn't move my hand to try and shake him because i thought he would be all stiff...so i called out his name for about a minute...fully convinced he is dead...until i hear

"what"

oh my god i was so relieved!!!...of course he wasn't dead!!!...what a silly notion!!!...

but then i had to have an excuse for waking him up...

"um, do you want the fan on?"

"what...sure...whatever"

so i got up and turned on the fan and froze my ass off...

and then he fell back asleep and started to snore.

so in the morning i him about how i thought he was dead blah blah blah...and he said

"you're just full of pleasant thoughts, aren't you?"

i'm glad he didn't wonder why it was that if i thought he was dead i didn't immediately try to revive him, dial 911, or burst into tears...

especially since the life insurance doesn't kick in for another year and nine months...

x.

dinner tonight

pork chops with mushroom gravy
fennel and raddichio salad
sauteed apples with cinnamon butter

the weather has turned a bit cool so i thought a cozy meal sounded good...i got pork loin chops and i'm going to marinate them then pan fry them and serve with gravy...i'll serve the salad i made yesterday...i didn't serve the salad last night because the pot of cioppino was HUGE enough to be a meal in itself...and it was chock full of celery and tomatoes and fresh italian parsley and onions and garlic...it was delicious!...the apples are kinda like a chunky stovetop applesauce, but less mushy...

i survived devil's crotch and didn't even get a lousy t-shirt.

so the backpacking trip was a success...

except for the 1/2 mile in 1/2 mile back out *detour* along the edge/sheer drop of a rushing river on a path about a foot wide that was steep as all get out and then after having to hike back out (some discrepancies concerning the map, where we were, etc.) it was another 1/2 mile or so up to the main path on a hill that was 45 degrees with no switchbacks and a black bear (the kind that eat people) just for shits and giggles...

i'm sure the river canyon *detour* had a name but i like to refer to it as devil's crotch...

good. lord.

that was possibly one of the rougher hikes i have ever been on...hands down...the main hike was cake, it was the *detour* that did us in...and it was the first time backpacking for the boybarians!...but they did an EXCELLENT job and are just the best troopers...when the shit hits the fan they can really deal...we were very very proud of them...

so now we're back and there's much to do...projects around the house, (yes, the christmas things are still in the hall) school, etc...

summer is still here, but i feel it waning...there's probably another backpacking trip and an extended camping trip before it's gone for good...

and then after the summer/fall travels i thought we'd get a kitten (i know i know but hear me out) because the boybarians have been wishing loudly and often for a baby sister...

that's right.

a baby.

they apparently don't actually live in the same house as i do or they are the great optimists of our time...

x.

dinner tonight

cioppino
fennel and raddichio salad
sourdough bread

i have never made cioppino but i love it and thought i'd give it a go...i'm using cod, scallops, and shrimp...they didn't have any fresh mussels at the market or else i'd throw those in too...i'm not sure how i'll dress the salad or even if i will...balsamic seems the way to go, but everyone has a different preference for dressings here at the big red house...since fennel and raddichio are a deviation from our norm in terms of salad, i think i'll toss most of it with the balsamic for the lord of the ring and me, and let the boybarians dress it how they like...

the bitch is back(packing).

we're off tomorrow for a backpacking trip with stoveman...

it will be the boybarians' first trip, and it's been sooooooo long for the lord of the ring and i so it should be quite the adventure...

i just got done packing the food and i just know i'm forgetting something...i did, however, purchase a new flask for the occasion so regardless of what happens i'm set!

while it is a lot of work, preparing for a backpacking trip is enjoyable...backpacking gear, even if it is fifteen years old, is just so cool...and there have been so many tremendous strides in the technology, i'm looking forward to being able to invest in some new gear...

in the meantime, we're making do and trying to remember how this all goes...and although i haven't been in so long, i've been backpacking all my life so it's pretty much all coming back to me...

(although i just know i'm forgetting something!)

stoveman used to take me and my two sisters out a lot when we were kids...i have no idea how he got all of us packed and ready and out the door...it's a monumental effort to be sure...but i'm so glad he did...backpacking is something i've always enjoyed and i'm glad to now be able to share it with my own kids...

it's not without its challenges, though...i remember one trip as a kid wherein we arrived at the trailhead and all three of us were car sick from riding in the back of the truck on the twisty backroad...

it was nearing late afternoon and there wasn't anywhere to camp at the trailhead so we had no choice but to start hiking even though we were sick...

off course the beginning of the hike started on an incline in the blazing sun...man i can still remember looking up and seeing that incline to this day...and i have a notoriously bad memory!...but man oh man my little heart just sank...and i'm sure stoveman wasn't faring much better seeing his parental task at hand!...

so there we were...stoveman with a long stick in the lead and the three of us loaded down with our backpacks hanging onto the stick making our way slowly up the hill puking. all. the. way. up.

needless to say, i'm hoping for a bit less drama on this trip...

so wish us luck and i'll report back on friday!

x.

dum dum de dum...dum dum de dum...

the following conversation took place last night in the truck in line waiting for the ferry home (complete with tone inflection for the full effect)

me: IF YOU TOUCH YOUR BROTHER ONE MORE TIME I SWEAR I-

oops...wrong conversation...let's try that again...

me: (baiting) so, do you know what tomorrow is?

him: (distracted/slightly irritated) um, friday?

me: (standard) think again, sister...reach back into the recesses of your mind

him: (snarky yet slightly nervous) oh, shit...what am i forgetting?

me: (triumphant) august 4th?...ring any bells?

him: (relief/unfazed) oh, right...our wedding anniversary

me: (sarcastic/standard) well, it's a good thing i'm not one of those women who gets all worked up about anniversaries and gifts and stuff

him: (dry and right on/quickly becoming standard in relation to dealing with me) well you must be a little or else you wouldn't bring up the fact that you're not

the last american romantic, that one.

seriously, though, august 4th while it may be our wedding anniversary is not really our *true* anniversary...we consider our first date our true anniversary...not that august 4th isn't special because it is, but it comes with little fanfare...

our *true* anniversary falls in december and is actually celebrated in some fashion...not that i'll actually get anything on that day either, but i'm not one of those women anyway so i guess that's neither here nor there...

yesterday we went across the pond to the big city...all went well until the beast decided to pull a diva move and overheat...in traffic...on capitol hill...we pulled over...in a crosswalk...

blah blah blah and an hour later along with the tow truck driver it was figured out it was a wonky fuse that's supposed to keep a fan going to cool things down in relation to using the AC that was just fixed but sort of jury-rigged with the fan deal until a better solution was found...

yeah.

so i carry a box of fuses and a jug of coolant until we figure it out...i love my truck...and i am getting schooled...

i can't figure out if the beast is a girl or a boy...usually my vehicles have been girls up until now...there wasn't any question...but my truck, well it's hard to figure...because it's big and it's loud and the tires are definitely as my friend mis says "good god y'all!"...

but it's also a really good looking truck (almost too pretty) and it's got some really distinct quirks...diva-like quirks if you ask me...it demands and commands attention...it's had some work done to look the way it does, yet at heart it is what it's always been meant to be...

i suspect it's a big old beautiful drag queen who could easily kick your ass...in heels...

i do know that it's a good thing my new age sensitive male husband is such a MAN...it's always good to have one around...especially while brokedown in a crosswalk on the corner of 12th and pike...

and the best part?...one of my favorite high octane breweries was only one block away from said crosswalk...

why don't we live in the city again?...i forget...

so today is our wedding anniversary and the successful finish of our first week of school...we'll toast this morning with our usual friday donuts and grill some steaks later on...it's family movie night as well so after dinner we will be found gathered around the television...

sugar? check!
red meat? check!
television? check!

just another day in the life of the american family...

all scoffing aside, considering what other families in other necks of the world are doing together today, me and mine are the luckiest friggin' people in the world...i usually consider us so, but lately i've felt this more and more...

regardless of where you are in your life this friday, august 4th, hold your loved ones tight and be glad you aren't in the middle east...

dumb dumb de dumb.

x.

school's in for the summer.

well, it's back to school at the big red house...

we go back in august on a reduced schedule...math and latin only...this way, we get back to somewhat of a routine which is good for all of us, get to school only four days a week during the year instead of five, and the duke doesn't forget all of his math and latin before i get back to him...

and this morning while snuggling in bed the duke told me school is fun...so i suppose there really isn't anything more i could ask for...

well, i could ask that maybe he run a brush over those teeth before he comes to snuggle...but i won't hold my breath...well, actually i do...

anyhow, with moving the curriculum to latin-centered i expect once we're up and running fully in september that there will be a few bumps here and there...but nothing too major as i'm basically handing the duke one of his favorite interests on a silver platter...

he's long been fascinated with ancient rome and greece and the like...in addition to latin, he will now learn greek...in addition to that, we are adding the in depth study of the leaders of ancient rome and greece...who were these guys?...what did they have to say?...what did they do to shape the world we live in today?...

and now is the part of the show wherein i will want to draw parallels to the present troubles our world is facing...primarily because it seems we as a society haven't studied our history or even know our history and that is why we are in the mess we are in today...

but i do the people magazine crossword so what do i know.

wingman continues to drive me nuts...he's so friggin' cute and there are a lot of wonderful qualities about him...

in the meantime, he is the kid in the room who will tell you your breath smells...or leer at your boobs if given half a chance...

(whatever...you can call it "age-appropriate curiosity" if you want but i feel like a co-ed at a frat house kegger without the benefit of beer)

and not subtlely or quietly or kindly i might add...

it is not an aspect of his personality i fully embrace as his parent...

BUT, at night when he's in his bed and the lights are off and everyone else is downstairs reading and he's announcing the names and positions of each of the mariners players in the starting line-up in that big ball park announcers voice he is so adorable it almost makes up for the fact that he's well on his way to being the cute but very annoying and perhaps depraved guy on some t.v. reality show later in life...

you just don't consider all the possibilities when you're sitting in the rocking chair rubbing your belly with wonder and dreaming of the day you can just see your baby's face for the first time...

if they could just bottle that particular set of hormones we'd all be better off...because as a parent there comes a time when your child grows up and you see and hear things you just wish you hadn't...

but, as my children are still small, i can still sometimes turn a blind eye towards the "quirks" in their personalities while trying to instill in them the values that our family considers important...

right now, i still have a chance...

it's twenty years from now when i turn on the t.v and they're dancing around some living room or some ballroom or some island with their underwear on their heads all sweaty and crazed and shouting out gibberish and profanities and the camera is catching every last drop of it that i know i will have lost my chance to steer them in the right direction and wish i was back in that rocking chair chugging a bottle of hormones...

it's all relative until you see your child's ass on television...

x.

oy vey.

i KID you not as soon as we sat down at the deli yesterday the duke immediately got that i know i was fine two minutes ago but right now i feel really really gross and hot and pukey and in fact as much as it pains me to admit this mother given the right trigger i just may puke all over you and the good people we are sharing the deli's one communal table with look on his face...

i've never downed hand cured artisanal meats and cheeses and wine so damned fast in my life...well, maybe wine...anyhow, we got the rest to go and hightailed it out of there...

so no flowers or pastry...but no puke either...

so all in all just another birthday with kids...

the bag lady in paris sent me cold hard cash so i'm finally ordering my "you make jesus cry" and "no one cares about your blog" mug set...

i thought already ordered them and have been waiting...turns out i didn't...but now i will...

she also sent me the barefoot contessa in paris cookbook...the recipe for roasted chicken on a bed of croutons is one i've been making a lot of...it is soooo good...and now i don't have to keep getting the book from the library!

ina garten has the personality of a bowl of unadulterated cream of wheat but her recipes are terrific!

we aren't going on our letterboxing walk this morning with the duke feeling ill...but i *think* i will *gasp* brave the upstairs...but, i don't know...it's sooooo hot...maybe in awhile...because i'm a LOSER!...and everyday i wait i'm one step closer to christmas...

anyhow, i fear i will be too busy with the duke to accomplish much...remember me mentioning he's really really high maintenance when he's sick?...yeah, it's terrifically charming...

so yesterday after racing home he's lying on the couch searching for a john wayne movie on t.v. and says

"mama, i'm hungry"

"oh yeah, well what would you like?...some soup?"

"no...i'd like a roast beef sandwich on dark rye"

"you are not having a sandwich like that with your stomache the way it is...besides i don't have anything to make a sandwich like that"

"that's okay...i'd take a burger...AND you don't even have to make it...you could order it"

good grief.

then this morning when i came downstairs before he even says hi he says

"mama, papa won't let me make pancakes"

"oh honey, you shouldn't be in the kitchen making pancakes when you're sick"

"well then, you could make them for me...extra syrup please"

he got cereal...

that's all you need when you're sick, a big old glob of pancakes in your belly...besides, i don't *do* pancakes...i can whip up a big ol' mexican breakfast like you wouldn't believe...but standing at the stove making pancakes...each individual cake...pour watch flip...pour watch flip...it's a little too zen for me...probably why i never did any good with meditation...or with men who wear clogs...

so we'll see if i'm in the kitchen all day or not...since he hasn't puked yet, it's a good bet i will be...

speaking of the kitchen, tonight is the great macaroni and cheese off...we're making one homemade, one *healthy* box, and one unhealthy box...then we're doing a blind taste test to indentify our favorite one...

the lord of the ring is in charge of making the homemade one...which makes me feel as though i'd really like to have a little heart medication on hand just in case...

it's friday, so tonight is also family movie night...tonight we are watching the first harry potter...wingman just got done with a read aloud of the first book so he gets to finally see the movie...he's been dying to see it for awhile...but the deal in this house is you read the book or have it read to you before you get to see the movie...with so many great classics being made into movies these days it seems like a good compromise...

well, there's my day and i haven't even finished my coffee!!...

from my house to yours, may your friday also be productive and puke free...

x.