forgive my absence...i've been experiencing some technical difficulties...
not to mention job dissatisfaction as of late...
working with the duke is like working with a really short always on the edge of combustion boss who lives in perpetual middle management mania and misery...as you can imagine, it's a whale of a time here...
plus my neck has been out and i have a sinusy achy cold like thingy...
my theory is, for every time a mother gets away for some non-mother like fun she must pay for it when she returns...wings my ass...everytime my bell rings i just have twice the work when i get home...and then there's duke and his bad mood...
i go away for one evening and now here i am...a congested and yet also drippy put upon and pushed around quasimodo...
part of my evening away found me in a church for a wedding...as you can imagine in my station in life i don't have much call to be in a church...and this was a CHURCH church...there was no khalil gibran, no rumi, no guitar or indian flute music or drumming, no pro-liberal peace loving hippie hugging posters on the wall, no lesbian minister...
(warning: Judgmental with a capital J rant and Opinionated with a capital O somewhat emotion based and terribly simplistic rant and ramble ahead...proceed at your own risk)
no, this was the kind of church that gives it to you straight...the man is the head of the household, the woman must submit, marriage is between a man and a woman...emphasis on the man...
and something about "cleaving" that sounds slightly dirty but considering the source i highly doubt it is...
good lord, really?...in this day and age?...i know we haven't, but i'd like to think that we as a people have gone farther than that by now...that as the world turns and changes so do we...that with the problems the world faces today somehow who chooses to yoke themselves together oughta not be so "important" in the grand scheme of things...
it's one thing to watch the debates and follow the votes, it's another to watch it unfold before your eyes...
and seriously, it's like some people didn't get the memo because i'm not sure i know of a household where the man is the leader and the woman submits...i mean, really...what would get done?...ha ha...he he...heh.
listen, it isn't as if i don't respect another's beliefs...far far from it...i believe everyone has a right to worship as they choose...e.v.e.r.y.o.n.e...it's just that anything that seeks to control and compartmentalize something so intimate and seemingly ever changing and endless as a personal relationship with the *creator* of their choice just seems wrong...
and it isn't just the marriage issue...because obviously that's one issue of many but so very indicative of what is going on...
it's just that i've been talking to the old guy upstairs and his female counterpart(s) for a lot of years now...though, it's not something i'd call a relationship, really...he doesn't write, he doesn't call, i've got to do all the legwork...but like anyone who's chased the beautiful and elusive just for the few moments they choose to shine their love light on you, it works for me...
and this is different too in that in this "non-relationship" there's no danger of me waiting by the phone only to end up having to sleep on a futon and navigate his roommates in the bathroom...or waiting all day to go out with him and ending up paying for all the drinks because he "forgot his wallet"...again...
but, i digress...
the thing is i have a hard time believing that god or jesus or anyone else in their position gives a rat's ass who marries whom...who wears the pants in the family...if you even wear pants...i believe there are bigger fish that are being fried...way. bigger. fish.
control by fear and intimidation is the coward's way out...it's the bully's creed...and just because you continue in the age old practice of the co-opting of one particular person's life and tweaking it to fit your own agenda and organization doesn't make it True...
i imagine jesus as a constant eye-roller...
and again, i was a guest in this church...i wasn't forced to go...in fact i wasn't even *technically* invited (a story for another day)...in some, okay many, respects it's so very rude of me even to complain and bitch and Judge...
it's just that you can damn well believe what happens in church (or mosque or temple) doesn't stay. in. church (etc. etc.) ...and never has...therein lies the eternal rub...
history shows us that...the present more than drives it home...
ask the druids and the witches...ask the israelis and the palestinians...ask the abortion doctors and the women they aren't allowed to serve...ask mark foley...
all right, i'll stop...you get the belabored sensationalistic somewhat juvenile point...
as far as i'm concerned, i am the word and the light in my life...i am who i am because i believe what i do and am free to change my mind without fear or recrimination at any moment...
i believe in gaia...i believe in jesus...and i believe in god...i talk to them on a regular basis and i shoot the shit with the saints and the angels, too...who are we if we aren't our beliefs?...who are we without spirit?...who are we without our *network*?...hell, if verizon has one you can bet those omnipotent beings of light have one too...
i'm not saying that this cannot be found in a church...or that those who choose to worship in a church are incapable of having this...far far from it...
but i am saying that it's awfully freakin' hard to find anything when someone deliberately refuses to offer a light...
x.
1 comment:
Brilliant.
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