hey, remember that one time when i thought you were dead!

so the night we got back from backpacking we were understandably exhausted...

i made a big meal, we had some wine, and then crashed...the night was a bit cool so we didn't turn on the fan...

in the middle of the night i rolled over and put my hand on the lord of the ring's shoulder...right away i knew something wasn't right...he wasn't sweaty...now this in and of itself is something of a miracle...i blame his english ancestors, i don't know why, but it sounds good...anyhow, he sweats when he sleeps and he wasn't...

then i noticed something else...actually the absence of something else...he wasn't snoring...now to be fair, he doesn't snore all the time...just most of the time...

immediately, i got that ice cold fear feeling...he wasn't sweating or snoring...now i KNOW something is wrong!...my mind was going a mile a minute!...i was thinking about how we had put a lot of strain on our bodies earlier and chased it with a big meal...

i literally thought, oh my god he's dead!

i couldn't move...i couldn't take my hand from his shoulder...i just lied there frozen in fear...so much so i couldn't even attempt to see if he wasn't dead...i couldn't do a thing...

then about 30 seconds later i started to call out his name...once then twice...nothing...i still couldn't move my hand to try and shake him because i thought he would be all stiff...so i called out his name for about a minute...fully convinced he is dead...until i hear

"what"

oh my god i was so relieved!!!...of course he wasn't dead!!!...what a silly notion!!!...

but then i had to have an excuse for waking him up...

"um, do you want the fan on?"

"what...sure...whatever"

so i got up and turned on the fan and froze my ass off...

and then he fell back asleep and started to snore.

so in the morning i him about how i thought he was dead blah blah blah...and he said

"you're just full of pleasant thoughts, aren't you?"

i'm glad he didn't wonder why it was that if i thought he was dead i didn't immediately try to revive him, dial 911, or burst into tears...

especially since the life insurance doesn't kick in for another year and nine months...

x.

dinner tonight

pork chops with mushroom gravy
fennel and raddichio salad
sauteed apples with cinnamon butter

the weather has turned a bit cool so i thought a cozy meal sounded good...i got pork loin chops and i'm going to marinate them then pan fry them and serve with gravy...i'll serve the salad i made yesterday...i didn't serve the salad last night because the pot of cioppino was HUGE enough to be a meal in itself...and it was chock full of celery and tomatoes and fresh italian parsley and onions and garlic...it was delicious!...the apples are kinda like a chunky stovetop applesauce, but less mushy...