continuing on the rant from yesterday i just want to say i do not care for skinny jeans...
i did not care for them twenty years ago when i was skinny and i don't care for them now...i won't go so far as to say they are dumb, but they don't look good...even if you are skinny...
they make you look like the cartoon version of robin hood when he dresses up like the stork at the archery competition...
not a good look...still, maid marian falls for him!...i cannot pretend to understand the female mind...
so i needed new underwear and went shopping the other day only to find out they stopped making the underwear i liked...
of course they did...and in their place they have some sort of seamless microfiber business...
now i understand microfiber has its uses, i do...but can't a girl get a simple pair of cotton underwear?...why does everything have to be so fancy?
i realize, of course, that if i bought my underwear in places that don't sell them in plastic packages of 3 right next to the grout cleaner and the rain boots i might have better luck...
but i don't...the reasons are many, the logic thin...
so i browse around trying to find a replacement...i just want underwear...i don't want to make a statement...i don't need to advertise anything...i am long past the stage of show and tell...i just want to cover the bits and be on my way...
i look and look and they are all low rise bikini thong blah blah blah...and none are in black...why don't they sell black cotton underwear anymore?...i like black...it suits my cranky mood...but no black...at least not in the utilitarian undies...
no they have plenty of white and pink and all these incredibly ugly colors i can't imagine liking past the age of 12...
and then i spy what might be my only solution in this case...boy shorts...
now...let me just say that boy shorts seem like a good idea...and i'm sure on the right body they are most excellent...but i am skeptical...it seems like an awful lot of material if i were to actually get my correct size...but still, i am willing...desperate...
until i see the colors...good lord...they are all hideous pre-tween bubble gum colors...with white bands likes boys underwear...they are awful!
i buy them...
i buy them because i need underwear and i'm there and because at least for now i'm not going anywhere else...
they aren't so bad...rather like those big girl panties you used to get as a little kid...only bigger...and uglier...
and now for the laugh of the day...
i had to take the duke of fun into the naturopath the other day...she was trying to assess what remedy to administer for some scalp issues he's been having...after about an hour of chatting and an exam she's nearly at the stage of deciding what will be best...just a few more questions to narrow it down...
"so...would you say that the duke is 'yielding' in nature"
can i tell you.
but at the time i thought it unseemly to fall down on my ass laughing and peeing my new ugly underpants for hours on end until the proper authorities were called in...
the duke is about as yeilding as pete doherty in re-hab...he's about as yeilding as charlie sheen at a gambler's anonymous meeting...he's about as yeilding as george bush *anywhere*...
boy is not yeilding.
he is a taurus...he is the firstborn son of a somewhat ALBEIT IN A LOVING WAY controlling neurotic mother...
it is not in his best interest to be yeilding...plus, i bet it's just not any fun...
i put all of this in a very very very respectful and positive way and she administered the appropriate rememdy...
i couldn't wait to get home and share it with the lord of the ring...this will work for a laugh for about another 4.5 days and then fall into a not very funny but still slightly clever one word insided joke for another few years at least...
OH MY GOD!
the duke of fun on his way to do his latin *just* asked, and i quote
"do you write anything about me on your blog?"
shit.
what do i do! what do i say!
i lied.
"no"
"good"
"why?...would that make you upset?"
"i don't know"
then he left the room to do his work...
um, just a guess but I'M BETTING IT WOULD!!!
good. lord. i may have just lost my best material!
sure i got out of it this time with a well placed lie...but i know from personal experience that only works so long...
shit....where was i?
oh, yeah, the yeilding thing...
i need to go.
x.
dinner tonight
bowtie pasta with ham and peas
salad
apple blueberry pie
the pasta with ham and peas has a very very light cream sauce and parmesan...it's a nigella recipe...i just love her and i LOVE her recipes...they are easy and always delicious...though i've never cooked from how to be a domestic goddess, i hear that book was a bit wonky in the recipe department...but her later books are fab...
anyhow, wingman requested salad...he likes simple salads so a green salad with cucumber and peppers sounds good...the lord of the ring made the pie yesterday and it's so delicious!
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