Wednesday, June 13, 2007

oh. the. humanity.

overheard at the last and final physical therapy checkup yesterday...between one of the physical therapy techs and a female client...the client has been going on for about ten minutes about her horrible son, travis...

(she doesn't actually use the word "horrible", that's just my assumption given the information at hand...well, eavesdropped at hand)

he's 17...he steals from his parents so much they've had to padlock their shed and get a security system...he can get into the house and property, because, you know he's still only 17 and in high school, but can't get out without a code...you know, so he can't steal shit that isn't locked up or nailed down...

plus, apparently he "idolizes and worships" steve o from jackass and tries to get all of his friends to do the stunts they do on tv...like lighting firecrackers in their shoes during lunch at school...but all he gets is burns on his feet and in trouble...she doesn't know "what he expected to happen"...did he "expect the tv crews would come calling"...

she's says most of this with a laughing "whaddaya gonna do, boys will be boys" kinda air...

boys will not be boys forever...some "boys" will eventually grow up to be destructive abusive lawbreaking assholes...

but, i digress...

anyhow so she's going on and on with all travis' antics and then she says to the tech

"so then he's saying 'can i have all the butts in your ashtray, mom' and i'm like NO WAY!"

okay, so at least she's trying to steer him away from smoking...that's good...

"'i'm like 'you know how much cigarettes cost! no way am i gonna let you just mooch offa my butts'...so then he thinks up can he give me some money and we'll buy the cigarettes together and share them?...i'm like yeah right, he don't have no job and how much money does a 17 year old have with no job?"

why do you think he steals all your stuff, mom?

so then later when i'm on the elliptical watching the parking lot (where there's the oxygen guy unloading a buncha stuff while smoking a cigarette) i hear the following from the machine next to me from a different physical therapy tech and her apparently new client...

"well, my son is 10 and my daughter just turned 1"

"aw that must be nice for your son to have a new baby brother or sister"

okay, so, um she just said "daughter" so i am assuming it's a new baby sister...but, who knows, right?

"yeah, he likes her just fine...then he gets bored...my husband says that's just how 10 year old boys are"

"now, is your husband the father of both of your kids?"

who asks this!...seriously, in a professional setting wherein you've literally just met one another who asks this!?!...

and the tech who got asked the question seems only slightly phased but responds

"no...no he's known my son since he was 2, but he's not his dad"

"well, you did look quite young to have a 10 year old"

wtf?...so basically she's telling the tech that given the age she looks, if she has a 10 year old she musta been a slut in high school and any self respecting man isn't gonna put the cart before the horse and then continue to do so for years on end...

so then a few minutes later the conversation moves on to summer travel...

"yeah, we go back to north carolina quite a bit...my husband's family is there"

"ooh, i LOVE north carolina!...i've never been there, but i seen it a bunch on tv!"

okay, what's wrong with this statement is not the obvious...because i can understand the sentiment of loving a place you've never been...because i LOVE alaska and have never been there...have been dying to go forever...and i LOVE ireland, and i've never been there either...when the bag lady in paris went a few years ago i seethed with jealousy...

and i'm as certain as the day is long that i would LOVE me one of those swim up bars in the tropics, but i've never been there either!

so i totally get it...what i don't get, though, is how much can one person really see of north carolina on tv?...i mean, am i missing some all north carolina all the time channel?...i just can't see there being that much?

unless of course she was an avid viewer of dawson's creek and as such knew that the beek and all his friends didn't really live in the fictional town of capeside, massachusetts, but rather filmed the series in north carolina...

but that would be assuming quite a lot...even for me.

so yeah, i'd like to know where on tv all this north carolina viewing is done...

and what they've got by way of alaska, ireland, and swim up bars in the tropics.

x.

2 comments:

hermitgrrl said...

LOL sillymortalmama I love your blog and I was excited when I checked up on it to see a new (hilarious) post. Like your new colors and header and stuff, though your green one was good too. Found you on a Pioneer Woman comment and thought a little cussing sounded refreshing lol. I couldn't help reading all your archives it was like finding a great new book at the library. Thanks for sharing all the stories.

One Fine Life said...

Oh my God. See, I thought PT was entertaining because my therapist was quite hot and I had a secret, seething little crush on the man who tortured me 3x per week. But this is just priceless. How ever did you keep a straight face, not to mention stop going? ;-) ~Pam