peanut butter and honey sandwiches; the new gateway drug?

last friday around lunch time i asked wingman if he would like to make his own peanut butter and honey sandwich...

he has done this before when the duke was making a sandwich...so he can do it...it's not a pretty sandwich, but it is edible, and he does know enough to keep the honey knife out of the peanut butter and the peanut butter knife out of the honey...

so i get out the bread and the two butter knives and the plates and the peanut butter and the honey...i call to the duke to come and make a sandwich if he wants one...

then i tell wingman to call if he needs me, i'll just be in the next room...

now, i can count on them both making a sandwich, and then most likely making another...most likely, i suspect, just for the pure pleasure of making a sandwich...occasionally they will want to make one for me, or the duke will make his famous triple decker honey sandwich...but that's as wild as it gets...

so awhile later, wingman comes wandering into the livingroom...he stops right in front of me and says

"my bewy hurts...i ate too many pbutter an honey samwiches and dwank too much water"

"oh, that's terrible honey...here, why don't you sit here on the couch with a book until your belly stops hurting"

"otay"

so he grabs his book and settles on the couch...i go out to clean up the sandwich stuff and when i grab the bread bag i notice that HALF OF THE LOAF IS GONE!...

this was a brand new loaf of bread and they ate half of it!!!...now my children love to eat, and wingman is a consummate grazer, but half a loaf!?!...then i thought maybe they had just been sloppy and dropped some on the floor...but right then i noticed there was a pile of crusts on the plate, and realized that a fair amount of sandwiches had been made and that same amount had indeed been eaten...

i go into the livingroom to ask wingman exactly how many sandwiches he had eaten, but there he was passed out!...in about three minutes he was sound asleep and drooling...

the duke was on the computer which means of course he wouldn't be able to hear me ask a question even if i put a bull horn to his ear and shouted...

and in the usual falderol of friday i dropped the matter...

so i waited until the next morning at breakfast to bring it up...

"hey guys, exactly how many peanut butter and honey sandwiches did you eat yesterday?"

the duke answers

"i only had two"

hmm...if the duke had two then wingman must have had the rest!...so i ask wingman

"how many peanut butter and honey sandwiches did you have?"

"too many"

and he says this with a weary, knowing air...like someone who has seen the darker side of overindulgence and is happy to have made it back...

no wonder he passed out after eating the day before!...with as much bread as he must've consumed, i would have passed out too!...and then to add all that water on top of it!...ugg...

later that afternoon wingman and i went to a birthday party of a little friend of his...for party food before the cake and ice cream extravaganza there was a fruit platter and assorted cold cuts and cheeses with rolls and condiments and the like...

so we are surveying our choices and i ask wingman if he wants some of the fruit and a few pieces of cheese and meat...he looks at his choices and then he looks at me and asks

"can i have a pbutter an honey samwich?"

my little robert downey jr...

sigh...some people just never learn...

x.