parenting and the new math...

in an effort to integrate the overwhelming reality that defines being a stay-at-home, homeschooling mother of two while maintaining harmony of home and a certain level of gentle control i am constantly trying to keep a cool and patient demeanor in the face of what the day brings...

i am here to report that it often goes badly, or not at all...

case in point...whilst on the phone this morning my boybarians, the duke of fun and wingman, chased each other right onto me, my full and rather hot cup of coffee, and my call...

wherein the duke began to bang his head into the wingman's diapered bottom, giving a whole new meaning to the term *head-butt*...

now, i know personally of mothers and fathers who can react calmly and somewhat rationally in situations such as these...even while the hot coffee runneth over, their patience does not runneth out...they utter a few words and the situation is resolved...

kid whisperers if you will...

me?...i'm rosanne barr on a good day...at least today i was...

to be fair, there was hot coffee involved (and cruelly wasted i might add)...

but what am i missing?...is there some switch that certain parents get and others don't?...

certainly the lord of the ring, otherwise known as my husband, really must be provoked to voice raising...even in irritation and waning patience he can keep his voice in check...

again, to be fair, the situation must be pretty snarky for me to raise my voice...but why is it i find that on many occasions snarkiness is the order of the day?...

and i have come to a conclusion...

it's math...

yup, that old nemesis from my younger days has come to bite me in the in the parenting ass...

if you don't believe me, let the data speak for itself...

i am one mama at home alone for five out of seven days with two boys...

for nearly twelve hours out of twenty-four it's just me and them...half the day...really more if you add into that the fact that they sleep 9-10 hours a day...

so basically every waking moment of my life i am outnumbered...(well, except for weekends, but they go too too fast to really count in the equation)...

even i can sum up that based on the numbers, it doesn't look good...

this is a continuous cycle of the numbers just not adding up and the possibilities for snarkiness and chaos are endless!...based on the love we have for our children and the lifestyle in which the lord of the ring and i have chosen in which to raise them, (not to mention the moral and legal obligation) they are here until their individual contracts expire...

a mobius strip of potential discord, if you will...

the good news is, if i don't delve into mathematical theory, the present data suggests that i only have fifteen years to go...

x.