happy valentime's day...

well i knew i was doomed when wingman came home from school talking about glitter and glue and paper hearts...

no creepy boxed valentines for us...damn...

so i had to load up the feverish and understandably upset duke and head to the craft store...it's totally unfair, but i had no choice...can i say it just sucks that i had no choice?

anyhow you'd think that i would have remembered that wednesday is wingman's snack day and combined the trip so i wouldn't have to make another trip today...with the sick duke in tow...but no...i didn't...poor duke...

and what did wingman choose at the craft store?...orange cardstock for the hearts, glitter glue in the shades of tangerine and royal blue, fuzzy dog stickers, sports stickers, and pastel flower stickers...

not a stitch of red or pink in the whole lot...

then he proceeded to construct 17, countem' SEVENTEEN!! hand. made. hand. addressed. valentines...

dude.

i never thought i'd see the day when danny and the dinosaur seemed like a short read...

he had a very good time and i just sat back and let him at it...

now with the duke i was way more *involved*...and by *involved* i mean i was like the don king of valentines...i totally spearheaded the whole event and definitely *helped* to ensure that they were valentiney and above all, presentable...

as a first time mother that's just what you do, i guess...there's so much ego involved, so much wrapped up in what your child presents to the world...i think we come by it naturally, however it manifests...we are shepherding our children through the world, sometimes detouring through our own past into what we hope is a glowing future...

we want our children to learn the ins and outs of acknowledging and more importantly following the social contract...

which means valentines are red and pink and you don't get to use brown pen...

not so much with wingman...i let him do it all and OF COURSE valentines aren't red and pink and OF COURSE it was infinitely more enjoyable for both of us...

and OF COURSE he addressed each and every one of them in brown pen...

judging from the adults i know, the children i know, the parents of the adults i know and the parents of the children i know, i'd say children (adult or otherwise) are about 10% (if that) what we *want*/*raise* them to be and 90% just who they are...

and the sooner we can accept this as fact, the sooner we can tear down the walls of expectation and let every one catch their breath and get their bearings and move forward at their own pace...carving a path for travelling together...no one feeling pushed, no one pulling, no one getting lost or ditching the group because that's the only way they'll ever get a chance to decide what step they should take...

letting everyone, including ourselves, be exactly who they are without expectations and contingencies from other people...

i am beginning to believe one can follow the social contract without having to sign it in blood...

orange and blue and brown valentines are my small step in that direction as a parent...

as a person?...i'm still figuring that out...those small steps are a lot harder to recognize and even harder to take when it's your own self you're fighting for...

i'll keep you posted...

x.