it's friday, it's overcast, and it's a damned good thing i have two boys!

warning, what i am about to write is gender biased and sexist and wrong on so many levels but i am going forward with it anyway...

i am glad i have two boys because i have an acre of lawn...which means that one day i will no longer be responsible for said lawn, and they will...incidentally, i wish that day were today...

there i said it...not that girls or women can't mow lawns (my muscles will agree with that!) , but when i think of being able to *make* someone mow a lawn i think of someone with a penis...and judging from the last time i checked, i'm in luck...

but don't tell the bag (cough! old-school) lady (cough! feminist) in paris i said that...i have a feeling she wouldn't be pleased...

anyhow, you may ask what happened to the resident lawn mower...well i'd certainly like to know too, so i don't really have any answers for you...last i heard he's started to get things dry cleaned and is wearing some sort of *professional* kind of shoe...i suspect it may be a loafer, but i don't want to look because i don't want to know...

so it's me and the briggs and stratton and an acre of grass...who the hell are we, the rockefellers?...why do we have such a big yard!...who needs all this goddamned grass!...some environmentalist is cursing our name over his uncle sam cereal right about now...and i think i can actually hear a spotted owl weeping...

in all fairness, the lord of the ring didn't want me to take over the yard...he wanted to hire some kid (obviously older than ours) for the summer to do it...but because i'm cheap and flabby i decided why not kill two birds with one stone?...

judging from how my body feels this morning, i think i'm one of the birds and my neck feels like it's made of stone...

i had better look like linda hamilton in the terminator by the time the summer's over or there is going to be hell. to. pay.

or, some kid lookin' for a few extra bucks...

x.