if a tree falls in the forest...

i have learned something about myself during this whole weekday solo parenting gig...

i have learned that if there isn't anyone around to complain to or to pick up the slack, then i actually do whatever needs doing...with virtually no complaining or dragging of the feet at all...

sure, when the lord of the ring calls at night when he's done with work i give him an ear full of the "poor me" variety, but during the day i just do it...

and that is different for me...because i like to complain...i am good at it...and i am awfully good at the big heavy sigh and the woe is me face...and i am really good at letting everyone know just exactly how i feel and how put upon i am...

wow, i'm sure interested (read: scared beyond reason) to see who the boybarians will end up choosing to date/marry/sleep with as a result of this...i like to think how i parent them will keep them out of therapy, but i am amazed at how consistently i do just the opposite...huh...anyhow, where were we?

oh yeah, it's not that i want to be a whiny bitch, it's just that i don't know how not to be...

apparently being a single parent solves that...or at least shoves it to the side where everything else i enjoy doing is...because when there isn't a soul around to do what you can't do or won't do or to just pitch in in general, then there isn't anyone else but you...and when there isn't anyone else but you, there isn't any use in complaining about it...because regardless of how much you don't want to do it, you have to...case closed...

plus, i have found that complaining to myself just isn't as *rewarding* as complaining to the lord of the ring...there is definitely something lacking...i don't think i am nearly as sympathetic...

so i stopped...well, not completely as there is the nightly phone call...but that's more for the lord of the ring's sake...poor guy, he's homesick there at the hotel california what a lovely place...and what more to make him feel right at home than his wife bitchin' about her day?...well, maybe i could throw a pillow case that the cat peed on and a ziploc full of legos to sprinkle on the floor in his suitcase next time he leaves...then he'd feel right at home...

so i've worked out a routine for myself, and have given and expected more responsibility from the boybarians...and you know what, they have really taken to it!...and because i am the only parent they have from monday through friday part of my routine is trying to be more present...and you know what, it works!...i know, this is not new information...but sometimes it's the simplest things we forget to remember...

in being more present with the boybarians on a more consistent basis, and expecting them to take a few responsibilities on for themselves, i have actually gotten more of their cooperation...and as a result slightly more boybarian-free time wherein they are occupied and i am not interrupted...

i generally use those 3 1/2 minutes to pee...

i am in no way suggesting that things are better here with the lord of the ring gone...it's just that by default i have complete control (finally!) ...during the week there simply isn't anyone else to share power and duties with, so i just move forward...and i expect the boybarians to help out with that...

and, for now, it works...and i have to say i rather enjoy a household wherein every one has some responsibility, cooperation isn't just a theory, and i'm not bitching and moaning about every little thing...as you may be able to imagine, it's surprisingly refreshing...

but, this is still the big red house...home of sillymortalmama and the boybarians...there will be no holding of the breath and much enjoying it while it lasts...

because like stoveman says, eventually all good kids turn on you like snakes (what did we put that man through?)...i suspect my 3 1/2 minutes will begin to dwindle here pretty soon, chipped away by a second here, a second there...until there i am, going pee while they shout and shove each other and pound on the door and ask me for stuff...meanwhile i am wishing for a stiff drink and taking the lord of the ring's name in vain...

so, i suppose i'd have to surmise from all of this that if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it fall, it doesn't mean it doesn't make a sound...it just means that the tree is gonna have to suck it up and continue to fall and wait to complain about it later...

x.