Tuesday, January 13, 2009

row, row, row your boat.

(the above picture is for the obvious boat theme AND because we watched anthony bourdain in venice last night and if ever i fell in love with a place, the "real" place, not the touristy guidebooky romantic notion of the place, so hard i could feel it in my soul i can't remember it)

so you know the story about the guy who was warned by god that a flood was coming?

so the flood comes and all the town is evacuated. but the man stays put. the policemen come by his house in a row boat to evacuate him and he says no, no, god will save me. he warned me and he will save me.

so the water keeps coming and the man is forced to the second story of his house and some people come by in a power boat to evacuate him. no, no, god will save me. he warned me and he will save me.

so the water keeps coming and the man is forced onto the roof of his home and a helicopter comes and hovers over with a voice over a loudspeaker that says grab the rope! and the man says no, no, god will save me. he warned me and he will save me.

so the man drowns.

and when he gets to heaven he meets up with god and he says, why didn't you save me!?! you warned me and why didn't you save me!?!

and god says, not only did i warn you, but i sent you a two boats and a helicopter! what the hell more did you need!?!


okay, so maybe in the original story god doesn't say "hell."what can i say, it seemed fitting in the re-write. but can you imagine being god and this schmuck dies because he's a schmuck and he still makes it to heaven and then gets all up in your grill!

sometimes when need saving or just searching for an answer we forget to search if the answer is right in front of us. even if we've been warned. sometimes especially when we've been warned ahead of time.

maybe we're too busy hoping it will all work out or even knowing that it will all work out to look at how we need to jump in the row boat or grab the rope as part of the solution to it all working out.

when you're in a situation long enough and hoping for a miracle is what you've got left, which is perfectly acceptable, it's easy to lose sight of the simple ways to assist in the miracle.

when you rely on the universe providing, which is perfectly acceptable, you have to remember to look around for the rope. the universe providing is not without its leg work.

that being said, and on to an all together different matter, today is the day my child starts algebra.


a small word, but one that is powerful enough to strike fear in the hearts of the fearless. even into the hearts of those who have taken and passed algebra.

and we all know that wasn't me. third grade math is where my brain and the lack of proper teaching and any help at all ground my math career to a halt. okay, i kid, i kid, i'll say fifth grade.

the point is, i am scared shitless. i knew this was coming and there isn't a rowboat or a rope in sight. just me.


i've made it this far and if test scores are any indication (please let them be any indication) i really can and do do a fine job teaching my child math i have not previously learned myself.


here we go. wish me well and if you can hear the screaming from where you are i suggest you just close your windows.


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