Tuesday, April 29, 2008

day at the museum.

so we went to see the roman art exhibit for the duke's birthday and it was FABULOUS!

it is simply amazing that these statues and objects not only made it from that time period, but that they made it packed and shipped from overseas and then back again. it's an exhibit on loan from the louvre and i think it only has two spots it's stopping in america.

we are so fortunate to have been able to see it.

but, you know i can't be in public without there being an 'incident.'

i swear to you if i didn't have witnesses it wouldn't be believable. i should have been a character in seinfeld.

it seems wherever i go lately in the past few years, and i may have shared this with you before, i just get treated weirdly or worse than everyone else around me. like the checker will be nice to my husband,or the person in front of me or whoever, but not me. or somebody at a store will offer assistance to everyone around me, but then act put upon when i need help.

so, we're at the museum. and the lighting is meant to highlight the art, not the descriptions of the art. and i'm old and my eyes are going bad and my contacts suck. soooo, if i wanted to actually read the teeny tiny unlit descriptions i had to get close to where they were mounted on the wall.

everyone did. and there were no signs saying anything about getting too close to anything and nobody was. nobody was touching or anything like that. everyone in my family and those around us were all on our best museum behavior.

then we saw the statues of the children. and the descriptions were mounted next to the statues. and wingman was interested. and so like i had been doing and like everyone else was doing i stepped closer to the description and quietly read about the statues of the children to wingman.

and quicker than you can say toga there was a museum security guard right at my elbow! he looked all nervous and frantic, his eyes darting about and back on me,

"um, ma'am? you are waaayyy too close. you need to step back. now."

"oh, okay."

so did step back. and noticed everyone else as close as i was OR CLOSER to all the descriptions around me! AND even the statues and art!

and then i noticed where the security guard had been standing clear. across. the. room. filled with art and statues and people and how he must have BOOKED it over to where i was being too close to the art.

good lord you should have seen the huge ass 3000 year old marble arch he had to get around to get to me being too close to the art!

the lord of the ring just had his mouth hanging open. the boybarians were looking around in wonder as everyone else around us was being too close to the art!

and i wasn't even being too close to the art! i was being too close to the description of the art that was mounted a few feet from the art!

i should just call jerry seinfeld right now and tell him that he needs to follow me around with a camera because i am material galore. seriously, jer, hop on a plane and get out here. if not a whole series, i am at least an HBO special in the making.

we were all stunned. the lord of the ring couldn't believe what he saw.

and i was vindicated. because so often i'm by myself or just with the boybarians when people treat me weirdly or worse than everyone else around me and it just sounds like i'm bitter.

but i'm not BITTER! i am just treated weirdly or worse than everyone else around me! that is some karmic shit right there, right?

and just in case you were wondering, NO i am not overtly rude or demanding. i'm pleasant and deferential in public. oh quit snickering. it's true. i am actually a very polite person.

i can hear you snickering still. snicker away, it's true!

regardless, it was a good trip and we'll go back for the impressionism exhibit coming soon. where i will try to be on my best behavior and for reasons known only to the universe, i will fail.

be sure to check the news that day.

and now, now the jewish holiday that is the duke's birthday has come to a close. whew.

in other news, you may have noticed i never got to do a special wine blog with sis in the city this past weekend. it wasn't in the cards.

BUT, there's a new wine blog up and it's good and it's cheap!!!!


and if you'll notice i use the term Y2K2.0. i'm coining that and charging everyone who uses it in the future. and you know they will.

i'm not getting screwed over like that happy face guy who never collected on people using the black happy face on the yellow circle! no sireee bob!


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