whaddaya do when you're a 35 year old mother of two living in the middle of nowhere fighting your own personal battle of the bulge and hating the sound of your own voice repeating the same four phrases hourly to the same two boybarians who choose to ignore you and the minutiae of it all just gets to be too too much?
but what if you don't know what you want?...to cry to scream to be taken somewhere else?
you order the following and wait patiently on the porch.
1 cd from an angry rant filled substance fueled brit chick
1 cd from break my heart and bury my dreams and i'll kick your ass alt country chick duo
1 cd from red haired russian waif who will take you into someone else's world of magic and minutiae...if only for roughly 4.5 minutes at a time
and if you weren't such a cheap ass bastard you would have stalked right past the free shipping and threw down actual cash money for the paid shipping and would be listening to something else right now OTHER than the theme to "wonder pets"...
and just because it's friday and you'll likely need some cool catchphrase while you're out clubbing this weekend i will leave you with the following three favorite phrases of the duke...
"well, that's a bust!"
"what a buncha baloney"
yeah, i don't know either...he's channeling wally cleaver or some small town crook with big city dreams...
dude, if it gets worse i'm totally putting the angry brit chick in his walkman...