we now have cats.
well, cat...as soon as the one who ran away when she figured out what was up comes back we'll go get her too...
apparently, she is kinda skittish and not too social...keeps to herself and only occasionally will join the family for some interaction...
great...a pet with issues...because that's just what i need...sigh...thing is, she'll fit right in...
i'd like to think it was just part of her nature that she bolted rather than something to do with having taken one good look and us and deciding to run like hell...
though i'd totally understand as i have had those days, too...
they are both girls and come as a pair, though they are not siblings...the one we currently have is very very very sweet and seems to have acclimated to her new digs quite nicely...though i think she misses her friend...
we weren't prepared to take them right then...we were just going to *look*...but as these things happen the guy who had them had other ideas and in about 2.5 stale cigarette smoke filled seconds on a filthy apartment building landing COMPLETE with an inexplicable scattering of macaroni and cheese on the welcome mat and a lovely decorative display of silk flowers and color coordinating glass vases in front of the neighbor's door (for ???) we were being handed cats and they were *ours*...
who are we kidding, though...dogs have owners, cats have staff...
though the duke REALLY REALLY wanted to name a cat "calvin coolidge", we aren't going all angelina jolie on them and have decided they are keeping their original names...
they are both sweet names and fit them quite nicely...
and are, as far as you know, "chico" and "the man"...
x.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
i can't WAIT for the duke to have kids.
so yesterday the duke had an appointment with our family dentist...
and the dreaded phrase *orthodontic intervention* was uttered...now, it isn't for certain that he needs anything, but our dentist is sending him for a consult...
so i'm trying to explain to the duke what this may or may not mean...what braces are and do, dental appliances, etc...
"these items work so that your teeth don't end up...well..."
"what?...looking like yours?"
you know, there are kids out there who say things like "you are the prettiest mommy in the whole wide world"...i know there are...
x.
and the dreaded phrase *orthodontic intervention* was uttered...now, it isn't for certain that he needs anything, but our dentist is sending him for a consult...
so i'm trying to explain to the duke what this may or may not mean...what braces are and do, dental appliances, etc...
"these items work so that your teeth don't end up...well..."
"what?...looking like yours?"
you know, there are kids out there who say things like "you are the prettiest mommy in the whole wide world"...i know there are...
x.
Monday, March 19, 2007
knock knock.
the day i sit down to pee and there isn't a knock at the bathroom door or a voice calling through it for whatever it is that is SO damned important it can't wait the 30.5 seconds i actually require to complete my business in peace is the day i won't know what to do with myself...
i fully expect when that day comes i will then need to start taking the phone into the bathroom with me...
"hi. it's me. talk to me, i need to pee"
x.
i fully expect when that day comes i will then need to start taking the phone into the bathroom with me...
"hi. it's me. talk to me, i need to pee"
x.
Friday, March 16, 2007
girl friday.
whaddaya do when you're a 35 year old mother of two living in the middle of nowhere fighting your own personal battle of the bulge and hating the sound of your own voice repeating the same four phrases hourly to the same two boybarians who choose to ignore you and the minutiae of it all just gets to be too too much?
music.
but what if you don't know what you want?...to cry to scream to be taken somewhere else?
you order the following and wait patiently on the porch.
1 cd from an angry rant filled substance fueled brit chick
1 cd from break my heart and bury my dreams and i'll kick your ass alt country chick duo
1 cd from red haired russian waif who will take you into someone else's world of magic and minutiae...if only for roughly 4.5 minutes at a time
and if you weren't such a cheap ass bastard you would have stalked right past the free shipping and threw down actual cash money for the paid shipping and would be listening to something else right now OTHER than the theme to "wonder pets"...
and just because it's friday and you'll likely need some cool catchphrase while you're out clubbing this weekend i will leave you with the following three favorite phrases of the duke...
"well, that's a bust!"
"interesting..."
"what a buncha baloney"
yeah, i don't know either...he's channeling wally cleaver or some small town crook with big city dreams...
dude, if it gets worse i'm totally putting the angry brit chick in his walkman...
x.
music.
but what if you don't know what you want?...to cry to scream to be taken somewhere else?
you order the following and wait patiently on the porch.
1 cd from an angry rant filled substance fueled brit chick
1 cd from break my heart and bury my dreams and i'll kick your ass alt country chick duo
1 cd from red haired russian waif who will take you into someone else's world of magic and minutiae...if only for roughly 4.5 minutes at a time
and if you weren't such a cheap ass bastard you would have stalked right past the free shipping and threw down actual cash money for the paid shipping and would be listening to something else right now OTHER than the theme to "wonder pets"...
and just because it's friday and you'll likely need some cool catchphrase while you're out clubbing this weekend i will leave you with the following three favorite phrases of the duke...
"well, that's a bust!"
"interesting..."
"what a buncha baloney"
yeah, i don't know either...he's channeling wally cleaver or some small town crook with big city dreams...
dude, if it gets worse i'm totally putting the angry brit chick in his walkman...
x.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
beware the ides of march.
"well, the ides of march are come."
though as far as i'm concerned, i'd say every day around here is fodder for a shakespeare play!
the ides of march means it's almost st. patrick's day (fucker.) which means it's almost spring (yea.)
when i was little, around this time we'd start practicing for the may festival...the may festival was a yearly event involving the third through sixth grades of my elementary school...don't quote me on that...in fact i had to call my little sister just to get many of these facts straight...
ah, the good old days when my mind used to be a terrible thing to waste...
basically, the whole shebang was centered around a maypole...the younger grades just did some choreographed dance to music while the fifth and sixth graders actually danced around the maypole with the ribbons until the whole maypole was wrapped in a colorful pattern...
all to 'jimmy crack corn'.
how terribly pagan!...well except the 'jimmy crack corn' part...when i got older and found out what a maypole was all about i was soooo thrilled by our funky little may festival...an elementary school event steeped in paganism!!!...dude!!
but at the time did no one else notice?...or care?...you know they had no idea...because if they did you know there'd be no may festival in short order...
although, maybe not...i mean we still had santa claus in the schools then...and my town still had a sambo's restaurant...when i was growing up, the majority of people and parents just kinda went with stuff...well that's what it seemed like anyway...
not today, though...no sir...it's funny, though...you know with all the campaigns for social awareness/justice, strives for equality, technological and other advances meant to bring us farther than we've ever been, it seems we've been most successful in creating little or no 'wiggle' room in schools these days thus stagnating real growth in awareness...all these amazing tools at our disposal, and yet we have a palpable fear of stepping out of bounds in using them...
there's always got to be some committee to be sure there's not one person who might possibly be offended in the least by the observance or celebration, group or club...
good lord the moment the wrong person or parent gets offended at what something being celebrated or assembled for in the schools might mean then it's all over...maybe not right away, but soon enough...by the time the letter to the editor is written and the news cameras are called out it's all but over...somebody's always getting offended by something and there's always a media outlet at the ready and waiting to be sure the offense gets fast tracked...
of course i'm all for free speech and all the attendant benefits...it's just all the things that don't get said or done as a result of free speech and all the attendant benefits that bugs me...
it seems that with abandoning what might be offensive to some, and not replacing these celebrations, observances, rituals, groups with anything else at all, there is little or no cohesiveness to unite our student bodies...
and no, myspace doesn't count.
a generation of children at loose ends...and we can only guess what will be at the ready to tie them up...
there is so much diversity in this country...instead of homogenizing our schools and communities for fear of offending someone, how cool would it be in our schools to attempt to honor all that diversity?...at least as much as we could?...and good lord not just with the few obligatory posters tacked in the hallway and the few carefully chosen politically correct books facing forward on the library shelves...
but actually honoring and celebrating the days and celebrations and rituals that make us different...and maybe just a little bit the same...
but we don't...we don't because diversity to many is too scary... and because being perceived as different to many is too scary...
i'm just surprised i guess...i'm surprised that the big ol' melting pot is *still* after all these years just about who has the biggest wick....and who's just afraid of getting too close to the flame...
but unlike shakespeare's play, i don't know if there was ever any specific warning for culture at large to heed...though there have been plenty of self-appointed soothsayers along the way...
i know all that has been done (or not) over the years in the schools and communities to eradicate religious, racial, gender, and cultural and otherwise bias has been seemingly with our children's best interests in mind...
but like another great english literary figure said
"the road to hell is paved with good intentions"
indeed.
x.
though as far as i'm concerned, i'd say every day around here is fodder for a shakespeare play!
the ides of march means it's almost st. patrick's day (fucker.) which means it's almost spring (yea.)
when i was little, around this time we'd start practicing for the may festival...the may festival was a yearly event involving the third through sixth grades of my elementary school...don't quote me on that...in fact i had to call my little sister just to get many of these facts straight...
ah, the good old days when my mind used to be a terrible thing to waste...
basically, the whole shebang was centered around a maypole...the younger grades just did some choreographed dance to music while the fifth and sixth graders actually danced around the maypole with the ribbons until the whole maypole was wrapped in a colorful pattern...
all to 'jimmy crack corn'.
how terribly pagan!...well except the 'jimmy crack corn' part...when i got older and found out what a maypole was all about i was soooo thrilled by our funky little may festival...an elementary school event steeped in paganism!!!...dude!!
but at the time did no one else notice?...or care?...you know they had no idea...because if they did you know there'd be no may festival in short order...
although, maybe not...i mean we still had santa claus in the schools then...and my town still had a sambo's restaurant...when i was growing up, the majority of people and parents just kinda went with stuff...well that's what it seemed like anyway...
not today, though...no sir...it's funny, though...you know with all the campaigns for social awareness/justice, strives for equality, technological and other advances meant to bring us farther than we've ever been, it seems we've been most successful in creating little or no 'wiggle' room in schools these days thus stagnating real growth in awareness...all these amazing tools at our disposal, and yet we have a palpable fear of stepping out of bounds in using them...
there's always got to be some committee to be sure there's not one person who might possibly be offended in the least by the observance or celebration, group or club...
good lord the moment the wrong person or parent gets offended at what something being celebrated or assembled for in the schools might mean then it's all over...maybe not right away, but soon enough...by the time the letter to the editor is written and the news cameras are called out it's all but over...somebody's always getting offended by something and there's always a media outlet at the ready and waiting to be sure the offense gets fast tracked...
of course i'm all for free speech and all the attendant benefits...it's just all the things that don't get said or done as a result of free speech and all the attendant benefits that bugs me...
it seems that with abandoning what might be offensive to some, and not replacing these celebrations, observances, rituals, groups with anything else at all, there is little or no cohesiveness to unite our student bodies...
and no, myspace doesn't count.
a generation of children at loose ends...and we can only guess what will be at the ready to tie them up...
there is so much diversity in this country...instead of homogenizing our schools and communities for fear of offending someone, how cool would it be in our schools to attempt to honor all that diversity?...at least as much as we could?...and good lord not just with the few obligatory posters tacked in the hallway and the few carefully chosen politically correct books facing forward on the library shelves...
but actually honoring and celebrating the days and celebrations and rituals that make us different...and maybe just a little bit the same...
but we don't...we don't because diversity to many is too scary... and because being perceived as different to many is too scary...
i'm just surprised i guess...i'm surprised that the big ol' melting pot is *still* after all these years just about who has the biggest wick....and who's just afraid of getting too close to the flame...
but unlike shakespeare's play, i don't know if there was ever any specific warning for culture at large to heed...though there have been plenty of self-appointed soothsayers along the way...
i know all that has been done (or not) over the years in the schools and communities to eradicate religious, racial, gender, and cultural and otherwise bias has been seemingly with our children's best interests in mind...
but like another great english literary figure said
"the road to hell is paved with good intentions"
indeed.
x.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
happy pi day!
so our furnace went kaput.
it was a very pricey kaput, i might add...
so now there are strange workmen in my house lurking about trying to install a whole new heating system...yeah, you heard that right...system.
see, when you rent, your heater breaks and someone comes and fixes it...when you own a hundred year old house your heater breaks and suddenly it's a system.
we are extending the heat into a part of the house that only has wall heaters...so that's good...the wall heaters are expensive to run and not exactly the safest methods of delivering heat...
so by this evening we'll be the proud, not to mention warm, new owners of the mercedes benz of heating systems...minus a boybarian to pay for it all, but hey, sometimes that's just the price you pay...
moving right along, baseball starts soon...you can imagine how thrilled i am...
the problem this year, like saying "baseball starts soon" isn't ENOUGH of a problem to begin with, is that practice number one is in a town 20 minutes to the north of us, and practice number two is in a town 20 minutes to the, well hell i'm not good with directions or geography, but it's 20 minutes in some other direction...
what the hell?...it's baseball...a grassy field, some kids, a bat a ball...is that so hard?...apparently it is...so now we drive...
thing is, there's a mcdonald's on the way to each of the practices...i smell a conspiracy...a conspiracy sprayed with beef juice and fried within an inch of its life...
the totally awesome news is that wingman has decided NOT TO PLAY T-BALL THIS YEAR!!!...
in this league he's still too young for regular baseball, so would be in t-ball again...god what a moronic and irritating practice in futility t-ball is...good lord...
anyhow, not ever knowing my opinion of the "sport", he decided for himself that he didn't like it and wants to wait for baseball...HOO-FREAKIN'-WAY!!!...fine by me...though the liquor store might mourn the dip in their springtime revenues...
we all have our triggers...
in the meantime the search for kitties continues...when i was little there was always a box of cats somewhere looking for a home...where i lived you couldn't swing a cat without hitting a box of kittens...
but no...nowadays you've got to go searching for a cat...hoping you make it just before all the little ones are gone...pet stores, farm stores, shelters...trying to stay one step ahead of the other families out there searching...
there was one cat i really liked...god he was fat...and slightly old...he had that look on his face that suggested he would perpetually ignore you...or eat you...whichever came first...and he was such a bad cat he had to be locked in a dog cage with a big ol' lock because he kept getting out and causing trouble...his name was 'muchacho'...
perfect in every. single. way.
i said
"what about that one"
they all looked at me in horror...like i was nuts...they're all thinking little and cute and cuddly and precious and i want to bring home andre the giant...
and you know the boybarians are thinking god i'm glad mama doesn't date...
all right enough already...time to get back to the grind...but before i do i will leave you with a little treat!
31415926535
a little slice of pi.
x.
it was a very pricey kaput, i might add...
so now there are strange workmen in my house lurking about trying to install a whole new heating system...yeah, you heard that right...system.
see, when you rent, your heater breaks and someone comes and fixes it...when you own a hundred year old house your heater breaks and suddenly it's a system.
we are extending the heat into a part of the house that only has wall heaters...so that's good...the wall heaters are expensive to run and not exactly the safest methods of delivering heat...
so by this evening we'll be the proud, not to mention warm, new owners of the mercedes benz of heating systems...minus a boybarian to pay for it all, but hey, sometimes that's just the price you pay...
moving right along, baseball starts soon...you can imagine how thrilled i am...
the problem this year, like saying "baseball starts soon" isn't ENOUGH of a problem to begin with, is that practice number one is in a town 20 minutes to the north of us, and practice number two is in a town 20 minutes to the, well hell i'm not good with directions or geography, but it's 20 minutes in some other direction...
what the hell?...it's baseball...a grassy field, some kids, a bat a ball...is that so hard?...apparently it is...so now we drive...
thing is, there's a mcdonald's on the way to each of the practices...i smell a conspiracy...a conspiracy sprayed with beef juice and fried within an inch of its life...
the totally awesome news is that wingman has decided NOT TO PLAY T-BALL THIS YEAR!!!...
in this league he's still too young for regular baseball, so would be in t-ball again...god what a moronic and irritating practice in futility t-ball is...good lord...
anyhow, not ever knowing my opinion of the "sport", he decided for himself that he didn't like it and wants to wait for baseball...HOO-FREAKIN'-WAY!!!...fine by me...though the liquor store might mourn the dip in their springtime revenues...
we all have our triggers...
in the meantime the search for kitties continues...when i was little there was always a box of cats somewhere looking for a home...where i lived you couldn't swing a cat without hitting a box of kittens...
but no...nowadays you've got to go searching for a cat...hoping you make it just before all the little ones are gone...pet stores, farm stores, shelters...trying to stay one step ahead of the other families out there searching...
there was one cat i really liked...god he was fat...and slightly old...he had that look on his face that suggested he would perpetually ignore you...or eat you...whichever came first...and he was such a bad cat he had to be locked in a dog cage with a big ol' lock because he kept getting out and causing trouble...his name was 'muchacho'...
perfect in every. single. way.
i said
"what about that one"
they all looked at me in horror...like i was nuts...they're all thinking little and cute and cuddly and precious and i want to bring home andre the giant...
and you know the boybarians are thinking god i'm glad mama doesn't date...
all right enough already...time to get back to the grind...but before i do i will leave you with a little treat!
31415926535
a little slice of pi.
x.
Friday, March 02, 2007
my india, my america
can i say i have never in my life wanted to go to india?...i mean like it's actively on my list of places NOT TO EVER VISIT!
i love indian food and indian culture and have read so many lovely indian authors...but have never desired to see india...but since i've only been in north america i'm not so savvy a traveler...i'm an unadventurous wuss and rather soft...frankly, the thought of visiting india scares the shit out of me...i'd rather put my traveling energies towards a steering a pair of pretty but sturdy leather sandals towards a bottle of wine under the tuscan sun...
apparently, in addition to being unadventurous, i'm not a very imaginative traveler, either...but i don't care...you can't make me go to india!
on the other hand, the lord of the ring has been dying to go to india FOREVER!...he brought it up once early on and my reaction of vehement distaste was enough for him never to bring it up again...poor sot.
so you can see how he was understandably OVERJOYED upon learning that my dear dear dear friend auntieEN was marrying an indian gentleman and subsequently moving there!
here was his chance!...of course he assumed i'd put aside previous sentiments and want to visit my friend...if anyone could get me to go to india, it would be the promise of spending time with auntieEN...
auntieEN is the kind of person with whom one could spend time with being held hostage by terrorists in a rodent infested cave and still come away feeling as though you've had the time of your life...she quite simply, is the bomb.
so of course i'd want to go to india now!...his eyes gleamed he began to think aloud about the possibility of a trip...he was using 'we' a lot until i said
"um, have a good time and say hi to auntieEN for me"
poor sot.
anyhow, fast forward about a year and a half...i think that's how long she's been there?...i have desperately little contact with her as of late and miss her terribly...never enough to even entertain a trip there, but missed her nonetheless...
until last night...the craziest thing was i was sleeping and dreaming and having the loveliest time...my dreams are so real it's insane...and so subsequently i get these mini-lives so different from my own each night...
so i'm dreaming and i'm in india...and i saw myself there...and it was loud and busy and chaotic and lovely...and there i was on the street and in the cafe and in the market...and there was auntieEN...we were together in india...
i saw myself there and i liked it...i woke up and for the first time thought "i'd like to visit india one day"
then after i got up i picked up the phone to place a call and there was a message...i listened to it and it was auntieEN...calling from india...at midnight...i was asleep upstairs at midnight so didn't hear the phone...
but there she was...plain as you please on the message sending me love and greetings from india...
just like that.
it's funny when you shift inside yourself enough to change...even if it's just a small change...like where to take a trip...it's enough to remind you you're alive...and growing...still.
so maybe i will take a trip to india one day...maybe sooner rather than later...who knows?
i do know it would be really nice to see my friend again...
and to give her a clock set to west coast american time.
x.
i love indian food and indian culture and have read so many lovely indian authors...but have never desired to see india...but since i've only been in north america i'm not so savvy a traveler...i'm an unadventurous wuss and rather soft...frankly, the thought of visiting india scares the shit out of me...i'd rather put my traveling energies towards a steering a pair of pretty but sturdy leather sandals towards a bottle of wine under the tuscan sun...
apparently, in addition to being unadventurous, i'm not a very imaginative traveler, either...but i don't care...you can't make me go to india!
on the other hand, the lord of the ring has been dying to go to india FOREVER!...he brought it up once early on and my reaction of vehement distaste was enough for him never to bring it up again...poor sot.
so you can see how he was understandably OVERJOYED upon learning that my dear dear dear friend auntieEN was marrying an indian gentleman and subsequently moving there!
here was his chance!...of course he assumed i'd put aside previous sentiments and want to visit my friend...if anyone could get me to go to india, it would be the promise of spending time with auntieEN...
auntieEN is the kind of person with whom one could spend time with being held hostage by terrorists in a rodent infested cave and still come away feeling as though you've had the time of your life...she quite simply, is the bomb.
so of course i'd want to go to india now!...his eyes gleamed he began to think aloud about the possibility of a trip...he was using 'we' a lot until i said
"um, have a good time and say hi to auntieEN for me"
poor sot.
anyhow, fast forward about a year and a half...i think that's how long she's been there?...i have desperately little contact with her as of late and miss her terribly...never enough to even entertain a trip there, but missed her nonetheless...
until last night...the craziest thing was i was sleeping and dreaming and having the loveliest time...my dreams are so real it's insane...and so subsequently i get these mini-lives so different from my own each night...
so i'm dreaming and i'm in india...and i saw myself there...and it was loud and busy and chaotic and lovely...and there i was on the street and in the cafe and in the market...and there was auntieEN...we were together in india...
i saw myself there and i liked it...i woke up and for the first time thought "i'd like to visit india one day"
then after i got up i picked up the phone to place a call and there was a message...i listened to it and it was auntieEN...calling from india...at midnight...i was asleep upstairs at midnight so didn't hear the phone...
but there she was...plain as you please on the message sending me love and greetings from india...
just like that.
it's funny when you shift inside yourself enough to change...even if it's just a small change...like where to take a trip...it's enough to remind you you're alive...and growing...still.
so maybe i will take a trip to india one day...maybe sooner rather than later...who knows?
i do know it would be really nice to see my friend again...
and to give her a clock set to west coast american time.
x.
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