just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

this nearly replaces my wwsnd? credo...(what would stevie nicks do?)

but nothing can really replace a standard response that includes a long scarf, tall heels, and a wind machine...you know i'm right about this...

anyhow, just because you can, doesn't mean you should can really be applied anywhere in life...

fashion, dating, having kids, meth...you know, the usual suspects...

if we had the just because you can, doesn't mean you should policy firmly intact pop culture as we know it would be just that much better...there would be no paris hilton and all her attendant wannabes, no coco (ice-t's wife) and no jackass movies...there would be no kevin federline, no leggings, and no parachute pants...there would be no star jones without the weight, and no meredith viera AT ALL...

my god there is so much more but i just don't have the time...

recently i've tried to get my kids to understand this concept...not as a control device, but more as a for a plea for moderation...genetics alone should have them worried...

but, for more recent day to day survival as a child it's also good policy...

for instance, if you are five years old just because you can turn on the light and continue to read calvin and hobbes after your mother turns it off and tucks you in for the night doesn't mean you should...

because it's wrong and because it will irritate your mother that she isn't being listened to...but mostly because due to this defiant action in order to be a good parent your mother has to actually

1. be present and invested enough to care that you have disobeyed her...which is harder than it seems given the lateness of the day, the existence of the couch, the cold drink in hand, and dog the bounty hunter on t.v...

2. be engaged enough to act on said information and actually haul her ass across the house and up the stairs to once again tell you what's what, turn out the light, and get you tucked in...

3. be prepared to again follow up on the first two should they not stick for sake of parental consistency...

dude.

but seriously, if you're gonna do this, kid, then learn to read in your head...DING!...wingman is still in the phase of reading aloud and hasn't yet mastered the art of reading in your head...

i bet when he does he'll think he's discovered some great trick that only he knows and feel like he's got one over on me but good...

fine by me...

oh, and just in case you were worried, dog the bounty hunter most certainly DOES NOT fit into the just because you can, doesn't mean you should category...not by a LONG shot...so you just don't even need to worry about it, okay?

and just because you can, doesn't mean you should can apply to otherwise intelligent and discerning adults as well...

like sometimes just because you can stop and browse and wonder, doesn't mean you should...

let's say you're the type who does the majority of their shopping at places that jumbles all their random merchandise together...like bras with the power saws and holiday items with automotive and pet products with the cds...better yet if it's a *discount* retailer with any manner of items that rotate on a weekly basis...

hypothetically, let's just say...

and let's just say that you were at one of these establishments to purchase a suitcase for romantic weekend away with your husband...and while browsing the store looking for the section they are displaying the luggage this week you come across the rug/pajama/lingerie (such as it is) section...

and let's just say, hypothetically, you slow up a bit and glance at what is being offered...let's say you are thinking wayyyyyy down deeeeeepppp in your addled brain that you're going on a romantic weekend and though you aren't the type maybe you'll just take a peek at the nightwear...for shits and giggles...

and let's just say you are more than a bit appalled at the ugliness of the pajamas and skimpiness of the "lingerie"...what grown woman would wear this? you might say about the tasmanian devil flannel pajamas...or what grown woman would FIT into this? you might say about the camisole and panty set (if you can even call it THAT! but, i'm just guessing) just about big enough to fit a bratz doll...

so let's just say you are about to turn away and continue your hunt for the OH MY GOD WHAT ENDS UP TO BE THE CUTEST SUITCASE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!! (but, again, i'm just guessing here) when your eye catches a rack next to the bathroom rug/toilet seat cover sets...it's red, it's sexy without being what some creep who didn't advance past the emotional age of twelve who had to go to the prom with the "unfortunate" cousin for lack of anyone else would think was "sexy", and TRA LA looks to be of a NORMAL SIZE!

so let's say you step forward to get a closer look...you feel the lovely fabric...you admire the fact it's cut nicely, but not too *nicely* if you get my hypothetical drift...you get the beginning of an idea, an awful idea...you flip the hanging tag...

you read DELTA BURKE INTIMATES on the tag...

i'm just saying is all.

x.

p.s. for those of you looking for defending your life look no further...i will resume with the humiliation when i can adequately put into words my shameful and embarassing experiences...or until somebody makes me into a reality show...which ever comes first...