snakes on a head...

the duke is sweet...

for latin he had to write a sentence in latin and in english that included at least three derivatives...

he wrote

The poet went to Argentina to see a movie.

what a sweet sentence...because i just assumed he'd write something along the lines of

The army bloodily and loudly defeated the enemy.

sometimes when he's singing devo songs really loudly while NOT doing his school work AND pestering his brother i forget that he can be a sweet and clever child...

wingman is in a phase now wherein he wants to know the truth...he's always asking really? when you tell him something...like he really really wants to know whether you're kidding or not...for instance yesterday i pulled a big twig with thorns out of his hair...his hair is so big and long and curly the most amazing things get caught in it...once he had a little wooden train car trapped in it...really...

anyhow, after i pulled the twig out later on in the day i said

"hey wingman, you've got something in your hair"

"what is it?"

"oh, i got it...it was a snake...boy it slithered away quickly!"

"really?"

(only he can't do his "r's" so it comes out willy?...which is willy cute but something we are definitely working on)

where as before he would have known i was kidding and just rolled with it...

he's becoming jaded in his old age...and very literal...i don't like literal...it's such a bothersome trait in people...because you can't bullshit with them...

plus when you take things literally, you tend to correct people...a lot...i don't like to be corrected...by anyone...

but especially not by someone i had to carry in my body and then expel in a painful and in my case always life threatening process...

and double especially not by the same someone who still needs me to help him wipe his butt...

it's a will dwag...

x.

dinner tonight

if i've got one cup of red lentils i've got a million...ditto on cans of garbanzo beans...so tonight's dinner comes straight from the cupboard...

dal
hummus
pita bread
sliced tomatoes and dry cured black olives

i love dal...the lord of the ring makes it better than i do, but i'll make it tonight...i have some fresh cayenne peppers i got at the farmer's market where we camped that i'd LOVE to put in there, but wingman wouldn't be able to handle that kind of heat...he likes some spicy stuff, but not *that* spicy!...so just a lightly spiced dal...

hummus is so good and healthy and easy...and good lord in addition to all the garbanzos i've got two bottles of tahini!...originally i thought of making falafel, but we don't have any parsley or any peanut oil and i'm continuing my *use what we have policy* so no store trips!...the pita is left over from camping and the tomatoes need to be eaten TODAY...the olives were at the back of the fridge and were largely forgotton about...boy are they good...

a killer whale of a good time...

so we're back and we had a really good time...

it was an absolutely beautiful setting and the boybarians got to play non-stop with good friends...among other activities, they got to go out in a row boat nearly into the waters of canada and fish...ling cod mostly...the duke caught two!...

we had lots of fresh fish cooked over the fire...it was delicious...

but the absolute highlight was the whale sighting...a HUMONGEOUS pod of orcas (including a baby!) passed right by our beach!...oh my goodness it was amazing!

and the absolute highlight of that absolute highlight was that the duke was out in the middle of it in the rowboat!!...the father of the family we went with and his son and sister-in-law and the duke were out there...they weren't more than 10 or 15 feet away!!!...

one orca even swam right under their boat!!

what a lucky kid...a once in a lifetime experience indeed!...

the rest of the time was the usual camping falderol...i wished for a kayak to paddle on the lake we camped at, though...it was very beautiful there indeed...and a little peace and quiet out on the water by myself would have been just the ticket...maybe next time...

we had our fill of s'mores and campfire songs and hot chocolate...wingman attempted at achieving *dirtiest little boy in the world* status...i think he may just have reached it...

we also had our fill of the disturbingly loud, rude, bad taste in music, horribly vulgar yahoos next door...oh my god...if you're single handedly trying to bring back the worst of the late 80's and early 90's you should just stay home...it should be illegal to expose impressionable young minds to that crap...

anyway, we're home and back to school...there's unpacking and laundry and the like...of course i'm sitting here telling you all of this so obviously none of it is getting done!!

it's raining a bit...i may go out later and check on the status of the italian plums...the lord of the ring says they are ripening fast and i want to get to them before they totally ripen...

i like to make a plum liqueur to serve at christmas and i don't want a repeat of last time...they were way too ripe when i made them and the liqueur was awful!!...too sedimenty and thick...and waaaaaayyyyy too sweet...blech...

there's a fine line when making a sweet liqueur...because there is a definite sweet level to consider...you don't want it cloying...well, unless you're a sixteen year old girl who doesn't know any better, i suppose...but that's a story for another day...if the fruit is too ripe to begin with you're doomed...

if i get to them just before they soften we will have a delicious liqueur come christmas...

and speaking of christmas (good lord did i just say that?)...yes, the christmas stuff is still in the hall upstairs...only 117 days 8 hours and 38 minutes till it gets moved!!

but who's counting?

x.

dinner tonight

in the continued quest to clean out the freezer and cupboards we will have the following...

stir fry with peppers, snow peas, and tofu over whole wheat chow mein noodles

i found the box of tofu in the cupboard...i purchased it a few months ago intending it for a miso soup i never made...the peppers i have left over from camping...a ton of them...i took them to cook with fish in case we caught any and we only used a few...same with the snow peas...the 1/2 box of noodles i have left over from a veggie chow mein i made awhile ago...boy were they good...nice and fat and soft...and they're whole wheat so that is a definite plus!

placenta stew anyone?

so did you know, because i did not, that you can actually pay someone to not only wash and massage your feet but also to scrape large pieces of dead skin off of them too?...

i had no idea...but that's exactly what happened this weekend during my first ever pedicure...a friend treated me to one as a late birthday gift...

big scrapes of skin...all dirty and curled up and lying on the towel...i have to say, it was disgusting...and slightly embarrassing...that anyone in the general vicinity could just look over and see my dead ass skin lying there...

despite the dead skin, it was terrific...i was so relaxed and my feet felt so good and my toes look very pretty...i had no idea what having pretty toes can do for one's outlook...it's very therapeutic...like a bottle of wine for the feet...

this week finds us preparing for a camping trip in the san juans...i am a little slow in getting us together but looking forward to it...

also, the boybarians got new bikes and helmets this week so we've been hitting the bike trail every night after dinner...it's been really fun...sometimes the lord of the ring and i walk while they ride and sometimes we ride with them...

the problem is we got rid of our extremely ancient mountain bikes and worn out helmets last year in the big u-haul purge...what we have are our lowrider 8 ball fat tire cruisers made by manny himself in venice beach that we rode at the beach in santa monica...

this is not the beach in santa monica...this is hills and gravel and about gazillion more pounds of fat than santa monica...

plus we don't have helmets...

mostly we walk...and when we walk there's the benefit of picking blackberries and making blackberry piebbler...a pie/cobbler combined...piebbler...

fresh blackberry pie tends to be on the soggy side, and i don't have a good cobbler recipe that doesn't include another fruit in addition to blackberries...and we only had about a quart of blackberries...

so, i did a piebbler...pie shell, blackberries, flour, sugar, and milk mixed up and poured over...very good...very easy...best piebbler ever!

school's going well...though latin is definitely getting more challenging...we're into written and oral translation now which translates into i'm beginning a study course of my own soon...i need to answer questions i have no answers to!...

story of my life.

the only latin i know comes from reading harry potter...and thus far i haven't needed to cast an *eat slugs* spell on anyone...yet...

news on the beast is thankfully mild...there haven't been any diva moments other than having to go across the pond to the big city to have an ac hose custom made because of course she can't have anything ready to wear...

but this means we have our air conditioning back just in time for the weather to turn cold...she does these things on purpose to keep me in my place...but i gotta say, driving that truck is so much damn fun it's definitely worth it!...

it's not unlike a dysfunctional love affair...having had some practice in that particular field event, i at least know what to expect...

but really, if you ever see me with a silly boys, trucks are for girls sticker on my back window just shoot me...

x.

dinner tonight

well, i'm doing a little experiment...it's called let's clean out the freezer, see what's in there, and create meals out of it...and hey, since we'll be gone for four days let's throw in the fridge too!...

i love nothing more than to listen to npr on a sunday afternoon and plan my menu for the week...browsing through cookbooks and recipes i've collected, making a shopping list, going to the grocery store...

that's all coming to a grinding halt lately...form is being replaced by function...my freezer is too damned full!...and it's huge!...beyond the two placentas in the very back, i have no idea what's in there...but whatever it is, there's a LOT of it!...so the challenge is to check out the contents, defrost, and create some meals...

and no, i won't be using the placentas..it's a very long story but they belong to the boybarians...they are waiting to be planted under a beautiful new willow...only willows are expensive and beyond that we are lazy...the thought of digging a hole deep enough (coyotes...enough said) sends me to the couch to rest...preferably with a cocktail...but, i digress.

so there they are...two placentas...and yes even though they aren't marked, i can tell them apart...

the duke's is the one in the target bag.

anyhow last night we had chicken with wild rice and some sliced fresh orange and red peppers...now, it must be said that the chicken with wild rice was an impulsive see sometimes i DO say YES!, dammit! purchase from costco...we go to costco for toilet paper and occasionally wander the aisles looking around...that place scares me...the food there is really big...

anyhow, if you wander the aisles you get tasters...this was one of the tasters...the duke LOVED it!...i think it reminded him of the food at camp...which he LOVED!...four enthusiastic mama, mama, mama, can we get some of this PLEASE!'s later i forced a cheerful SURE! and put it in the cart...

it wasn't bad for a salt lick disguised as food...

tonight there's a bag of peas i generally use for my bum neck that has my eye...there's leftover rice in the fridge from chinese take out this weekend and the last of the eggs from the farm down the road...i'm thinking a fried rice of some sort with some more sliced peppers left over from last night...

and hoping my neck doesn't go out in the meantime...

this is your brain. this is your brain on spongebob.

i made indian food for dinner last night...

chickpea curry
flatbreads stuffed with spicy potatoes
basmati rice
green beans

the curry was good...very spicy...i made the flatbreads and cooked them on a cast iron skillet...they were good, but i think they would be better with a bit more cooking time and eaten hot off the skillet...which is hard to do when you're making a bunch to accompany dinner...

i can't make rice to save my life...i don't know if it's my stove or what...but i can't make rice...and i've tried soooo many different methods...the only time it EVER turns out, is when i make hoppin' john on new year's day...and then i think it's because it's baked in the oven...plus there's the bacon...everything's better with bacon...

so, the rice was *okay* if you like it a bit *nutty* (read: undercooked) but i HAVE to get a rice cooker...the green beans were plain, just the way the boybarians like them...

tonight i'm making a pasta dish from a cookbook i've had for awhile...i haven't made anything from it yet, so tonight's the test...

penne with ricotta, orange, and rosemary
fennel and raddichio salad

it sounds like an interesting combination...the zest of the orange is used, and the rosemary is fresh...i have half a bulb of fennel and some raddichio left so another salad it is...but i'm getting balsamic at the store today so i think it will be even better this time...

i've been working on our curriculum for the official start to school in the fall...it's going to be a lot more one on one involvement than we've had in the past...generally, i give the lesson and with most things the duke then works independently...

our new curriculum is more intense...adding another language will be challenging at first, so will the new writing program...but i think once we get into a groove it will be smooth sailing...and since we will be working together much more, we can focus on the bitchy banter we sometimes engage in rather than all the work in front of us...

ah, the hormonal build up to full blown adolescence...there's just nothing like it in the world...

and that's just for me!...ha ha ha ha hmm...

wingman will still continue to go to the little school through the woods next door and starts in two weeks...he'll be a kindergartner and will go in the afternoon...he is very very excited and can't wait!...

some of you have wondered why i don't start homeschooling right away...well, the woman who runs the school next door is such a great teacher for his age group...very very patient and understanding...

patience is something i lack, for sure...though i'm certain i could have done pre-school and kindergarten with them, i am totally grateful for her and the opportunity she has provided...she's been a great influence on my boys' education and their eagerness to learn...

plus, i think it's important to learn to sit quietly in a circle and wait your turn with a bunch of other kids...i think if you learn those skills early on, you're ready for pretty much anything...

i never went to pre-school...i can't sit quietly in a circle to save my life and i hate to share...

the thing is though, we've been used to wingman being gone in the mornings...so it will be an adjustment in terms of being a distraction...not because he actively bothers the duke, just that the two of them in the same space generally spells trouble...

i'm definitely going to have to engage him in some lessons/projects that he can work on with limited assistance...i'd just have the duke do his schoolwork when wingman's gone in the afternoon, but i've found that afternoon is mush time in terms of brainpower...tackling math and latin and writing is better done in the morning...

his brain in the afternoon is not so much a sponge as it is a spongebob...emphasis on the bob...

right then...now that i've got the next few months sorted out i just have to figure out how to get through the rest of the day...

x.

hey, remember that one time when i thought you were dead!

so the night we got back from backpacking we were understandably exhausted...

i made a big meal, we had some wine, and then crashed...the night was a bit cool so we didn't turn on the fan...

in the middle of the night i rolled over and put my hand on the lord of the ring's shoulder...right away i knew something wasn't right...he wasn't sweaty...now this in and of itself is something of a miracle...i blame his english ancestors, i don't know why, but it sounds good...anyhow, he sweats when he sleeps and he wasn't...

then i noticed something else...actually the absence of something else...he wasn't snoring...now to be fair, he doesn't snore all the time...just most of the time...

immediately, i got that ice cold fear feeling...he wasn't sweating or snoring...now i KNOW something is wrong!...my mind was going a mile a minute!...i was thinking about how we had put a lot of strain on our bodies earlier and chased it with a big meal...

i literally thought, oh my god he's dead!

i couldn't move...i couldn't take my hand from his shoulder...i just lied there frozen in fear...so much so i couldn't even attempt to see if he wasn't dead...i couldn't do a thing...

then about 30 seconds later i started to call out his name...once then twice...nothing...i still couldn't move my hand to try and shake him because i thought he would be all stiff...so i called out his name for about a minute...fully convinced he is dead...until i hear

"what"

oh my god i was so relieved!!!...of course he wasn't dead!!!...what a silly notion!!!...

but then i had to have an excuse for waking him up...

"um, do you want the fan on?"

"what...sure...whatever"

so i got up and turned on the fan and froze my ass off...

and then he fell back asleep and started to snore.

so in the morning i him about how i thought he was dead blah blah blah...and he said

"you're just full of pleasant thoughts, aren't you?"

i'm glad he didn't wonder why it was that if i thought he was dead i didn't immediately try to revive him, dial 911, or burst into tears...

especially since the life insurance doesn't kick in for another year and nine months...

x.

dinner tonight

pork chops with mushroom gravy
fennel and raddichio salad
sauteed apples with cinnamon butter

the weather has turned a bit cool so i thought a cozy meal sounded good...i got pork loin chops and i'm going to marinate them then pan fry them and serve with gravy...i'll serve the salad i made yesterday...i didn't serve the salad last night because the pot of cioppino was HUGE enough to be a meal in itself...and it was chock full of celery and tomatoes and fresh italian parsley and onions and garlic...it was delicious!...the apples are kinda like a chunky stovetop applesauce, but less mushy...

i survived devil's crotch and didn't even get a lousy t-shirt.

so the backpacking trip was a success...

except for the 1/2 mile in 1/2 mile back out *detour* along the edge/sheer drop of a rushing river on a path about a foot wide that was steep as all get out and then after having to hike back out (some discrepancies concerning the map, where we were, etc.) it was another 1/2 mile or so up to the main path on a hill that was 45 degrees with no switchbacks and a black bear (the kind that eat people) just for shits and giggles...

i'm sure the river canyon *detour* had a name but i like to refer to it as devil's crotch...

good. lord.

that was possibly one of the rougher hikes i have ever been on...hands down...the main hike was cake, it was the *detour* that did us in...and it was the first time backpacking for the boybarians!...but they did an EXCELLENT job and are just the best troopers...when the shit hits the fan they can really deal...we were very very proud of them...

so now we're back and there's much to do...projects around the house, (yes, the christmas things are still in the hall) school, etc...

summer is still here, but i feel it waning...there's probably another backpacking trip and an extended camping trip before it's gone for good...

and then after the summer/fall travels i thought we'd get a kitten (i know i know but hear me out) because the boybarians have been wishing loudly and often for a baby sister...

that's right.

a baby.

they apparently don't actually live in the same house as i do or they are the great optimists of our time...

x.

dinner tonight

cioppino
fennel and raddichio salad
sourdough bread

i have never made cioppino but i love it and thought i'd give it a go...i'm using cod, scallops, and shrimp...they didn't have any fresh mussels at the market or else i'd throw those in too...i'm not sure how i'll dress the salad or even if i will...balsamic seems the way to go, but everyone has a different preference for dressings here at the big red house...since fennel and raddichio are a deviation from our norm in terms of salad, i think i'll toss most of it with the balsamic for the lord of the ring and me, and let the boybarians dress it how they like...

the bitch is back(packing).

we're off tomorrow for a backpacking trip with stoveman...

it will be the boybarians' first trip, and it's been sooooooo long for the lord of the ring and i so it should be quite the adventure...

i just got done packing the food and i just know i'm forgetting something...i did, however, purchase a new flask for the occasion so regardless of what happens i'm set!

while it is a lot of work, preparing for a backpacking trip is enjoyable...backpacking gear, even if it is fifteen years old, is just so cool...and there have been so many tremendous strides in the technology, i'm looking forward to being able to invest in some new gear...

in the meantime, we're making do and trying to remember how this all goes...and although i haven't been in so long, i've been backpacking all my life so it's pretty much all coming back to me...

(although i just know i'm forgetting something!)

stoveman used to take me and my two sisters out a lot when we were kids...i have no idea how he got all of us packed and ready and out the door...it's a monumental effort to be sure...but i'm so glad he did...backpacking is something i've always enjoyed and i'm glad to now be able to share it with my own kids...

it's not without its challenges, though...i remember one trip as a kid wherein we arrived at the trailhead and all three of us were car sick from riding in the back of the truck on the twisty backroad...

it was nearing late afternoon and there wasn't anywhere to camp at the trailhead so we had no choice but to start hiking even though we were sick...

off course the beginning of the hike started on an incline in the blazing sun...man i can still remember looking up and seeing that incline to this day...and i have a notoriously bad memory!...but man oh man my little heart just sank...and i'm sure stoveman wasn't faring much better seeing his parental task at hand!...

so there we were...stoveman with a long stick in the lead and the three of us loaded down with our backpacks hanging onto the stick making our way slowly up the hill puking. all. the. way. up.

needless to say, i'm hoping for a bit less drama on this trip...

so wish us luck and i'll report back on friday!

x.

dum dum de dum...dum dum de dum...

the following conversation took place last night in the truck in line waiting for the ferry home (complete with tone inflection for the full effect)

me: IF YOU TOUCH YOUR BROTHER ONE MORE TIME I SWEAR I-

oops...wrong conversation...let's try that again...

me: (baiting) so, do you know what tomorrow is?

him: (distracted/slightly irritated) um, friday?

me: (standard) think again, sister...reach back into the recesses of your mind

him: (snarky yet slightly nervous) oh, shit...what am i forgetting?

me: (triumphant) august 4th?...ring any bells?

him: (relief/unfazed) oh, right...our wedding anniversary

me: (sarcastic/standard) well, it's a good thing i'm not one of those women who gets all worked up about anniversaries and gifts and stuff

him: (dry and right on/quickly becoming standard in relation to dealing with me) well you must be a little or else you wouldn't bring up the fact that you're not

the last american romantic, that one.

seriously, though, august 4th while it may be our wedding anniversary is not really our *true* anniversary...we consider our first date our true anniversary...not that august 4th isn't special because it is, but it comes with little fanfare...

our *true* anniversary falls in december and is actually celebrated in some fashion...not that i'll actually get anything on that day either, but i'm not one of those women anyway so i guess that's neither here nor there...

yesterday we went across the pond to the big city...all went well until the beast decided to pull a diva move and overheat...in traffic...on capitol hill...we pulled over...in a crosswalk...

blah blah blah and an hour later along with the tow truck driver it was figured out it was a wonky fuse that's supposed to keep a fan going to cool things down in relation to using the AC that was just fixed but sort of jury-rigged with the fan deal until a better solution was found...

yeah.

so i carry a box of fuses and a jug of coolant until we figure it out...i love my truck...and i am getting schooled...

i can't figure out if the beast is a girl or a boy...usually my vehicles have been girls up until now...there wasn't any question...but my truck, well it's hard to figure...because it's big and it's loud and the tires are definitely as my friend mis says "good god y'all!"...

but it's also a really good looking truck (almost too pretty) and it's got some really distinct quirks...diva-like quirks if you ask me...it demands and commands attention...it's had some work done to look the way it does, yet at heart it is what it's always been meant to be...

i suspect it's a big old beautiful drag queen who could easily kick your ass...in heels...

i do know that it's a good thing my new age sensitive male husband is such a MAN...it's always good to have one around...especially while brokedown in a crosswalk on the corner of 12th and pike...

and the best part?...one of my favorite high octane breweries was only one block away from said crosswalk...

why don't we live in the city again?...i forget...

so today is our wedding anniversary and the successful finish of our first week of school...we'll toast this morning with our usual friday donuts and grill some steaks later on...it's family movie night as well so after dinner we will be found gathered around the television...

sugar? check!
red meat? check!
television? check!

just another day in the life of the american family...

all scoffing aside, considering what other families in other necks of the world are doing together today, me and mine are the luckiest friggin' people in the world...i usually consider us so, but lately i've felt this more and more...

regardless of where you are in your life this friday, august 4th, hold your loved ones tight and be glad you aren't in the middle east...

dumb dumb de dumb.

x.

school's in for the summer.

well, it's back to school at the big red house...

we go back in august on a reduced schedule...math and latin only...this way, we get back to somewhat of a routine which is good for all of us, get to school only four days a week during the year instead of five, and the duke doesn't forget all of his math and latin before i get back to him...

and this morning while snuggling in bed the duke told me school is fun...so i suppose there really isn't anything more i could ask for...

well, i could ask that maybe he run a brush over those teeth before he comes to snuggle...but i won't hold my breath...well, actually i do...

anyhow, with moving the curriculum to latin-centered i expect once we're up and running fully in september that there will be a few bumps here and there...but nothing too major as i'm basically handing the duke one of his favorite interests on a silver platter...

he's long been fascinated with ancient rome and greece and the like...in addition to latin, he will now learn greek...in addition to that, we are adding the in depth study of the leaders of ancient rome and greece...who were these guys?...what did they have to say?...what did they do to shape the world we live in today?...

and now is the part of the show wherein i will want to draw parallels to the present troubles our world is facing...primarily because it seems we as a society haven't studied our history or even know our history and that is why we are in the mess we are in today...

but i do the people magazine crossword so what do i know.

wingman continues to drive me nuts...he's so friggin' cute and there are a lot of wonderful qualities about him...

in the meantime, he is the kid in the room who will tell you your breath smells...or leer at your boobs if given half a chance...

(whatever...you can call it "age-appropriate curiosity" if you want but i feel like a co-ed at a frat house kegger without the benefit of beer)

and not subtlely or quietly or kindly i might add...

it is not an aspect of his personality i fully embrace as his parent...

BUT, at night when he's in his bed and the lights are off and everyone else is downstairs reading and he's announcing the names and positions of each of the mariners players in the starting line-up in that big ball park announcers voice he is so adorable it almost makes up for the fact that he's well on his way to being the cute but very annoying and perhaps depraved guy on some t.v. reality show later in life...

you just don't consider all the possibilities when you're sitting in the rocking chair rubbing your belly with wonder and dreaming of the day you can just see your baby's face for the first time...

if they could just bottle that particular set of hormones we'd all be better off...because as a parent there comes a time when your child grows up and you see and hear things you just wish you hadn't...

but, as my children are still small, i can still sometimes turn a blind eye towards the "quirks" in their personalities while trying to instill in them the values that our family considers important...

right now, i still have a chance...

it's twenty years from now when i turn on the t.v and they're dancing around some living room or some ballroom or some island with their underwear on their heads all sweaty and crazed and shouting out gibberish and profanities and the camera is catching every last drop of it that i know i will have lost my chance to steer them in the right direction and wish i was back in that rocking chair chugging a bottle of hormones...

it's all relative until you see your child's ass on television...

x.