Tuesday, January 24, 2012

your moment(s) of zen.

a friend on a certain social networking site posted something a few days ago about how we are all beautiful. and how people can't accept being told they're beautiful. they simply don't believe it. but they should. i'm likely paraphrasing terribly, but that's the gist.

i've been thinking about that the past few days. about how beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. that it really does come from inside. but most of us have a hard time imagining that could ever be applied to 'us.' me? beautiful? nawwwww. and i'd have to say it's because in this culture the *beauty* we truly *prize* is that which is nearly unattainable by the masses. not to mention nearly unsustainable over the long haul we call life. so as we get older it becomes less believable. who? me? but i'm 40? i'm 38? 57? my stomach isn't flat and i have grey hair. beautiful? nawwwww.

why is that? why can't we just be beautiful to the people who find us beautiful?

i suppose it's the same reason we exercise and watch what we eat to be 'thin' rather than 'healthy.' because in this culture 'thin' = 'healthy.'

how do any of us make it out alive i will never know. oh, that's right. we don't.

okay, anyway, moving right along...i was driving the husband to work this morning and noticed, as i always do on this drive, how many funeral homes i pass in the 5 miles there, and the 5 going home. how the fire station is always hopping.

and then i heard wingman pipe up from the backseat

'have you noticed all the flower shops are going out of business?'

death and tragedy can survive anything, but not the florists. apparently celebration is not sustainable over the long haul, either.

which got me thinking about beauty again. about how flowers make people happy. because they are beautiful. but not every flower is beautiful to every person. people have their favorites. but we can say, as a whole, flowers are beautiful. people are beautiful. especially the people we love.

when i see a friend i look at that face and it makes me happy. because i love them. because they are my friend. all my friends are beautiful. to me. and really, that's all that matters. right? right.

so thinking about beauty and the florists and friends i haven't seen i too long and how anything can happen at any moment. and mostly, does. we lose people. that's just a fact. they die. or they just leave. and you never see them again. ever. and what once was so hopeful and loving and special and heart tugging and amusing and fun lies in a kind of relationship ruins. that's just there. not often visited, but still there. still in the guidebook. even after all these years.

and my hand went to my heart and i was touched by this idea of the fragility of it all. kind of like a cosmic 'oh.' how the funeral homes and the fire stations will always do a brisk business while the florists must struggle to survive. no further than that, just thinking how very silly mortal this business of living is.

and i KID YOU NOT RIGHT THEN AND THERE the following song came on the radio. just like that. which just goes to prove everything is connected. and just as it should be. and is constantly circling about itself. and that life is the most amazing goddamned thing i can think of. even the silly mortal moments. all amazing.

you are beautiful. and if you were here i would throw my arms around you and whisper it in your ear. 'you are beautiful.' and then i would say 'HELLO!' and 'i realize that life goes fast and it's hard to make the good things last but you and me together here is a start.' and even though i'm not a hugger i would tighten my arms and hold on just a little bit longer. give those funeral homes and fire stations a run for their money. life really is too short for anything less. so here you go. your moment(s) of zen. enjoy!

be blessed,



pinkmom said...

once when I was working in a flower shop

pinkmom said...

I got a phone call from a woman who had received a floral arrangement from the shop I worked in. - I had designed an arrangement for her earlier, I remembered the order. She yelled and cried into the phone. She was upset. It was a gorgeous arrangement, our flowers that day were particularly "beautiful" and she was crying. She had just had a miscarriage and she couldn't believe that we would ever send an arrangement like that over to her. She was appalled and disturbed. Of course, I apologized and I'm sure we probably sent something over that was more innocuous somehow. She hated the flowers, she hated how they reminded of her of her miscarriage.

Last night a man came on the tv and he was doing yoga. I was folding clothes and sort of doing it with him and the little girl in the room with me started yelling "He's ugly!! Look! Look!!! He's UGLY!" She yelled this with such urgent glee. I was really bothered by her emphatic and joyful declarations. The way she said it over and over made me feel so ugly. Anyway, that's all, I told her to stop it. But the damage was done. We were all ugly. In that moment. Isn't that funny how that happens.