Thursday, January 19, 2012

it's 3 am. do you know what your thoughts are?

taking down the christmas tree is something i have never enjoyed doing.

and i used to think it's because it was a LOT of hassle and work. and i'm lazy. which it is. and i am.

until i start to do it.

then it's like no big deal. and goes really quickly. and before i can say nutcracker i'm sweeping up needles and reclaiming precious living room space.

no. the real thing about taking down the christmas tree is that it has to be done. must be. really. because if you don't...and it stays up too long, people start to talk. never take it down and well, that's just a slippery slope all the way to crazy town. and more talk. from the people. you know, the people. who talk.

so it's not that it's *work* it's that it's *there.* sitting in the corner. just waiting to be dealt with. losing its charm with each day passed and ornament attack by the resident cats.

and even as you put it off all you can think about is how charming it all starts out. as most issues do. the search the find the decorating the sheer hopefulness of a christmas tree all lit up. how every year you proclaim it to be 'the nicest tree we've ever had.' until it's past all the charm. and becomes an issue.

and so it sits. losing needles and gathering dust and mentally pricking you each time you see it. hey, over here. it's january 7th. it's january 8th. 12th. last weekend came and went. and so on. and so forth. hey, over here.

you can't ignore the christmas tree. literally. like trying to ignore a mime dressed in drag. it never says a word but the noise is deafening. and a christmas tree doesn't go away on its own. ever. they never ever have. even in the urban legends. a christmas tree requires you to deal with it. always.

isn't it funny how we can camouflage so much in our life without ever touching the issue. the non christmas tree in the corner issues. the wake us up at 3 am thoughts. gain some weight? buy some spanx. drink too much? take advil and drink water. deceive the ones you love? promise yourself you won't do it again. act like an asshole? blame anything else but yourself. rob a bank? tell yourself it's the last time. get taxed at 15% when you're a qudrabillionillnionaire? well tell yourself you're stimulating the economy. asshole.

there are all kinds of thoughts to have at 3 am. and no two are the same. and it's easy to pretend that the things that wake us up at 3 am aren't really any big deal. because we think no one else can see them. because we think we can hide them. yeah.

i always tell my kids that to just do something is better than sitting and fretting over having to do it. doing is better than complaining about the need to get it done. like the dalai lama says, we create our own chaos. take a deep breath. take it bird by bird. you have plenty of time, but only if you start now. start where you are.

easy to tell other people. especially the people in your life who 'have' to listen to you.

just so we're clear...the christmas tree is down. and it was easier than i thought. and the ornaments are even more organized than they were last year. and, it was no big deal. really.

well then hell wouldn't it be nice if all the 3 am thoughts we have were christmas trees? without all the treading of water or touching bottom to get there? wouldn't it be nice if all our 3 am thoughts were just smack dab in the living room. and we HAD to deal with them. just like that. no excuses. and forcing our action.

(i have a sneaking suspicion they can be. we just put them up and decorate them in the out of the way places. where there's very little light and we are the only ones who ever go there. makes it easier to do nothing and always have company at 3 am. sigh.)

i don't know where i'm going with this, i just know it must be said. because i know i'm not the only one who wakes up at 3 am. or battles with the christmas tree in the corner only to find it's not that big of a deal.

and i know i'm not the only one who sometimes wishes it could all be like the christmas tree. and that when it comes down it's down. that we can handle it easily and quickly. after dinner and in time for prime time. packaging it up better that we did last time. sweeping up all the detritus and tossing it all away. done.

just like that.

how nice would that be?



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