on the issue of james frey and his book a million little pieces i must first say that the particulars of the issue are of little concern to me...but i feel compelled to say something...my something is the following...
writers are notoriously lazy and suffer from ever-swelling egos...
why it should surprise anyone that a writer would "embellish" or just flat out make up events, people, and facts in a memoir is beyond me...
there are no two ways about it, if a writer can say it better they will...those who don't, well it doesn't matter now does it because we haven't ever heard of them and likely never will...
i have long held the opinion that any written work, like any art work or piece of music, matters only in its ability to capture some emotion, moment in time, or induce processes of thought or feeling...
anything else is irrelevant...
though don't tell the writer the artist or the musician...they seem to think there is more to it than that...oh, but please let us not dispel the myth should they suddenly get the idea they'd like to talk about their work...or good god even worse, about themselves!!...
i defy you to find one person in this world who tells their own story just. the. way. it. happened.
especially if that person happens to have even one ounce of ability to commit thought to word and word to paper...
happy hunting, and if you don't cry, throw-up, and pee your pants while reading my yet to be written memoir THEN get to see it come to life on the big screen in every city in the country then i will consider myself a failure...
certainly not when someone else deems me as such...
but for the sake of the collective soul that crys out for something more, something beyond the things we all know for sure, please, don't ask and i promise not to tell...
because there is pure grace in illusion...and when we seek to discover the truth and nothing but the truth, we miss the magic...
and without the magic we are nothing more than mere silly mortals...
x.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Thursday, January 19, 2006
for once, i wish i was older...
because then i could be a curmudgeon which would at least lend a certain legitimacy to my complaining...unfortunately, at my present age, i'm just a bitch...
really, i'd love nothing more than to sit down and share some clear soup with andy rooney and kvetch...
so i sign the boys up for baseball and they inform me that the duke has to TRY. OUT.
he's 8!
who makes an 8 year old try out for baseball?...this is america people!!...it's america's game or america's past time or some such trademarked slogan like that!...what's more american than baseball!?!...and they make kids try out!!??...
i thought you showed up with a glove and your hat and your eagerness and that was that!...no WONDER everyone else in the world hates us!!
i gently broke it to the duke that he would have to try out for the team...
and god bless him, he who hasn't played baseball in his life, you know what he said?
"oh...well, probably i'll make it...not to worry"
sigh...my boy...such an optimist and so confident...i just love that about him!
moving right along to my body...i know, nobody likes it when andy rooney talks about his body either...but i have to bitch because after a month of somewhat regular exercise and an assortment of other torturous yet healthy choices i have lost exactly nothing...nada...not one ounce...
and so what i have to say is this...my body better start kickin' in something!...a pound or two, that's all i ask...a little incentive, a little give...because pretty much i'm doing all the work and gettin' nothing in return...last time that happened it ended in divorce...
and while i can't divorce my body, well, i suppose if i had a sex change it would almost be like divorcing my body...i guess?...not that i want a sex change, though men do lose weight faster than women...
but, i digress...
no matter, my body had better start showin' me the love or all bets are off and i'm ditching it all and going for norm on cheers...i'm serious, let's see how my ass and my blood pressure like that!...ha!
moving right along, the bagger at the grocery store pissed me off yesterday and reminded me that i don't generally leave the house for this very reason, the german tuna can i drive won't let me in the trunk, and the rear tire needs more air blown in it than our current president just to get down the block...not that we have blocks out here in the middle of *nearly* nowhere (wall mart is moving in..."nowhere" is no longer...but that is a whole other bitch in and of itself)
there's more, as always...for instance, i could go into the boybarians' twice daily fight about who gets the "fancy" spoon or the "fancy" fork, but really i can't bear to go there right now unless i add a generous belt of whiskey to this already tepid coffee...suffice it to say it's a battle royale that is of such a petty and absurd nature it makes me wonder why i don't already have whiskey in my coffee...
on a much much MUCH happier note, tomorrow my beloved wingman turns five!!!...i am surprised it's happened so fast and yet it seems like he's always been here...
but you know what wingman turning five also means, and i must say this today as to not ruin tomorrow...wingman turning five also means we have had five years with george w. bush...i know, i know...it's, well it is what it is...let us mourn now and not speak of this tomorrow...
x.
really, i'd love nothing more than to sit down and share some clear soup with andy rooney and kvetch...
so i sign the boys up for baseball and they inform me that the duke has to TRY. OUT.
he's 8!
who makes an 8 year old try out for baseball?...this is america people!!...it's america's game or america's past time or some such trademarked slogan like that!...what's more american than baseball!?!...and they make kids try out!!??...
i thought you showed up with a glove and your hat and your eagerness and that was that!...no WONDER everyone else in the world hates us!!
i gently broke it to the duke that he would have to try out for the team...
and god bless him, he who hasn't played baseball in his life, you know what he said?
"oh...well, probably i'll make it...not to worry"
sigh...my boy...such an optimist and so confident...i just love that about him!
moving right along to my body...i know, nobody likes it when andy rooney talks about his body either...but i have to bitch because after a month of somewhat regular exercise and an assortment of other torturous yet healthy choices i have lost exactly nothing...nada...not one ounce...
and so what i have to say is this...my body better start kickin' in something!...a pound or two, that's all i ask...a little incentive, a little give...because pretty much i'm doing all the work and gettin' nothing in return...last time that happened it ended in divorce...
and while i can't divorce my body, well, i suppose if i had a sex change it would almost be like divorcing my body...i guess?...not that i want a sex change, though men do lose weight faster than women...
but, i digress...
no matter, my body had better start showin' me the love or all bets are off and i'm ditching it all and going for norm on cheers...i'm serious, let's see how my ass and my blood pressure like that!...ha!
moving right along, the bagger at the grocery store pissed me off yesterday and reminded me that i don't generally leave the house for this very reason, the german tuna can i drive won't let me in the trunk, and the rear tire needs more air blown in it than our current president just to get down the block...not that we have blocks out here in the middle of *nearly* nowhere (wall mart is moving in..."nowhere" is no longer...but that is a whole other bitch in and of itself)
there's more, as always...for instance, i could go into the boybarians' twice daily fight about who gets the "fancy" spoon or the "fancy" fork, but really i can't bear to go there right now unless i add a generous belt of whiskey to this already tepid coffee...suffice it to say it's a battle royale that is of such a petty and absurd nature it makes me wonder why i don't already have whiskey in my coffee...
on a much much MUCH happier note, tomorrow my beloved wingman turns five!!!...i am surprised it's happened so fast and yet it seems like he's always been here...
but you know what wingman turning five also means, and i must say this today as to not ruin tomorrow...wingman turning five also means we have had five years with george w. bush...i know, i know...it's, well it is what it is...let us mourn now and not speak of this tomorrow...
x.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
sorry kid, had we had known we might have toned down the earthiness...
well now, this is just too good!! i've just got to start with the word of the week!
today while listening to the alito business on the radio i heard one of the senators ask the million dollar question that began with the following
"people have organized their intimate relations around the ability to get an abortion should contraception fail blah blah blah"
then he said
"i apologize for the earthy language, but that is the nature of the blah blah blah"
earthy
LOVE IT!
it's such a dignified way to excuse yourself of saying something that may be a bit "much"...
for instance, "pardon me for my earthy language, but you are a fuckin' idiot"...or "you are a piss ant you rat bastard...pardon me for my earthy language, but that is how i feel"
i am going to have to employ this word for awhile...seeing as i am more than capable of using questionable language on a regular basis, this will definitely come in handy...
and unlike other apologies/excuses/etc. it is not only a dignified one, it can be used before or after the fact...a gem of a word indeed...
i'd like to believe should jane austen have been a bit more base in her nature, she would have definitely used earthy in exactly this manner...
moving right along...while perusing an oceanside yoga workout on the t.v. this morning i said the following to the duke
"good lord, i hope she finishes that workout before the tide comes in"
to which he replied in all seriousness and without removing his eyes glue to the t.v.
"i don't...i was hoping to see her get swept away"
now, what bothers me about this is not that he wants to see some poor unfortunate waif who is clearly too damned thin and must be a nut job to do yoga so close to the surf get swallowed up by the sea, but rather that he's perusing these workouts with me in the first place...this along with the each time a little slower than the last walk by the victoria's secret window, well, you get the picture...
i know you've heard this all before...but really, i don't want to think about it...this whole matter of "maturing"...i don't like the idea simply because i don't like the possibilities...sure it's a peek here and there today, eventually it's much much more...i don't like to imagine what's coming down the pike...i don't even like it when he picks out his own shirts (he loves turtlenecks, need i elaborate?) how in the hell am i going to even begin to appreciate his taste in a date?
i know i know, it's a LONG ways to go before the subject of dating comes up, but i have found in matters of the effects of aging and child rearing one can't be too early in the act of worrying...
and i have to say, what worries me most is my own past questionable judgment in what was and was not appropriate in matters of the heart coupled with his father's horrible taste in women...these may be so far ingrained in him there won't be much we can do except to apologize and hope to move forward...
though, for someone who does his fractions work in pen, i should probably begin to entertain the idea that he actually may know what he is doing when the time comes...
yeah, right...
x.
today while listening to the alito business on the radio i heard one of the senators ask the million dollar question that began with the following
"people have organized their intimate relations around the ability to get an abortion should contraception fail blah blah blah"
then he said
"i apologize for the earthy language, but that is the nature of the blah blah blah"
earthy
LOVE IT!
it's such a dignified way to excuse yourself of saying something that may be a bit "much"...
for instance, "pardon me for my earthy language, but you are a fuckin' idiot"...or "you are a piss ant you rat bastard...pardon me for my earthy language, but that is how i feel"
i am going to have to employ this word for awhile...seeing as i am more than capable of using questionable language on a regular basis, this will definitely come in handy...
and unlike other apologies/excuses/etc. it is not only a dignified one, it can be used before or after the fact...a gem of a word indeed...
i'd like to believe should jane austen have been a bit more base in her nature, she would have definitely used earthy in exactly this manner...
moving right along...while perusing an oceanside yoga workout on the t.v. this morning i said the following to the duke
"good lord, i hope she finishes that workout before the tide comes in"
to which he replied in all seriousness and without removing his eyes glue to the t.v.
"i don't...i was hoping to see her get swept away"
now, what bothers me about this is not that he wants to see some poor unfortunate waif who is clearly too damned thin and must be a nut job to do yoga so close to the surf get swallowed up by the sea, but rather that he's perusing these workouts with me in the first place...this along with the each time a little slower than the last walk by the victoria's secret window, well, you get the picture...
i know you've heard this all before...but really, i don't want to think about it...this whole matter of "maturing"...i don't like the idea simply because i don't like the possibilities...sure it's a peek here and there today, eventually it's much much more...i don't like to imagine what's coming down the pike...i don't even like it when he picks out his own shirts (he loves turtlenecks, need i elaborate?) how in the hell am i going to even begin to appreciate his taste in a date?
i know i know, it's a LONG ways to go before the subject of dating comes up, but i have found in matters of the effects of aging and child rearing one can't be too early in the act of worrying...
and i have to say, what worries me most is my own past questionable judgment in what was and was not appropriate in matters of the heart coupled with his father's horrible taste in women...these may be so far ingrained in him there won't be much we can do except to apologize and hope to move forward...
though, for someone who does his fractions work in pen, i should probably begin to entertain the idea that he actually may know what he is doing when the time comes...
yeah, right...
x.
Monday, January 09, 2006
did you know the drink holders on treadmills can't hold beer bottles?...it's a wonder, really...
it seems after so long away i would have something interesting to say...i don't but i will sally forth and let's see what happens...probably i will mostly repeat myself as a way to tie together a bunch of random and not very interesting information...i got this trick from reading my horrible little twice weekly local paper...
but, i digress...
i do have an update on wingman and his teeth...we saw the big city dentist and the whole experience was very very pleasant...wingman has grown up a lot since his first vist back in august...and it helps that the new dentist's office is not filled with a bunch of yahoos who so clearly represent my demographic it's not one bit funny...
he's got two appointments coming up in the next few months...they won't be putting him under, rather they will do oral sedation instead...he will have cavities repaired and possibly capped in the bottom back, and most likely have to have his front four teeth pulled due to the advance of the decay...
obviously, we are hoping they can be capped and saved, but from what i understand from the dentist, this is a long shot...we aren't telling wingman yet until right before...i don't want him worrying over it longer than he needs to...that's my job...
and while they are not only across the pond but also out of our care provider network (read: this is gonna cost us) i feel very positive with the level of care provided...i'll keep you posted...
the holidays were good and now that they are over we are off and running into the new year...part of this new year new start deal required renting a 14 foot u-haul that we were able to FILL UP with garbage and goodwill donations...you read that right...14 feet of crap...it's a wonder, really...
in addition to the 14 feet of crap, we contacted junk my car dot com and they came and got our non working blue car and hauled it away...not before the tow truck got stuck in a ditch and had to wait three hours in front of my house to be towed out...i saw him down there, not totally realizing it was him, long before he called to say he would be late and i said
"i know i see you stuck in my ditch"
apparently, this bit of information was lost on him because then when he got pulled out, he spent a 1/2 hour driving up and down my road looking for my house...
it's a wonder, really...
it was kinda sad, watching the old blue car get hauled off...but really, if you think about it, one can't be too careful in the matter of combining rural property and non-working vehicles...today it's 14 feet of crap and one worn out vehicle, tomorrow, it's sanford and son...
crap and cars and cavities notwithstanding, this year has started off in a very positive manner...i feel optimistic about this year...about what it will bring, changes and stability alike...
and now, now i must go a recline in some fashion because i worked out today FOR AN HOUR and i think i may actually be dying...or i might just need a beer...
nice to see you, be good...
x.
but, i digress...
i do have an update on wingman and his teeth...we saw the big city dentist and the whole experience was very very pleasant...wingman has grown up a lot since his first vist back in august...and it helps that the new dentist's office is not filled with a bunch of yahoos who so clearly represent my demographic it's not one bit funny...
he's got two appointments coming up in the next few months...they won't be putting him under, rather they will do oral sedation instead...he will have cavities repaired and possibly capped in the bottom back, and most likely have to have his front four teeth pulled due to the advance of the decay...
obviously, we are hoping they can be capped and saved, but from what i understand from the dentist, this is a long shot...we aren't telling wingman yet until right before...i don't want him worrying over it longer than he needs to...that's my job...
and while they are not only across the pond but also out of our care provider network (read: this is gonna cost us) i feel very positive with the level of care provided...i'll keep you posted...
the holidays were good and now that they are over we are off and running into the new year...part of this new year new start deal required renting a 14 foot u-haul that we were able to FILL UP with garbage and goodwill donations...you read that right...14 feet of crap...it's a wonder, really...
in addition to the 14 feet of crap, we contacted junk my car dot com and they came and got our non working blue car and hauled it away...not before the tow truck got stuck in a ditch and had to wait three hours in front of my house to be towed out...i saw him down there, not totally realizing it was him, long before he called to say he would be late and i said
"i know i see you stuck in my ditch"
apparently, this bit of information was lost on him because then when he got pulled out, he spent a 1/2 hour driving up and down my road looking for my house...
it's a wonder, really...
it was kinda sad, watching the old blue car get hauled off...but really, if you think about it, one can't be too careful in the matter of combining rural property and non-working vehicles...today it's 14 feet of crap and one worn out vehicle, tomorrow, it's sanford and son...
crap and cars and cavities notwithstanding, this year has started off in a very positive manner...i feel optimistic about this year...about what it will bring, changes and stability alike...
and now, now i must go a recline in some fashion because i worked out today FOR AN HOUR and i think i may actually be dying...or i might just need a beer...
nice to see you, be good...
x.
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