you can't handle the truth!...well, then again who could after i get done reducing it to a bumper sticker?

so i'm reading this book, a memoir...which means it's *real* (as a writer, i prefer to use that term loosely)...i like it...well, i liked it all right the first twenty pages or so...

but man is she wordy...she and all her friends...these conversations they have, they are all so erudite...and since i'm past the first twenty pages, i don't like it...i don't like it one bit...yet, i continue to read it at night before bed (apparently baking my own bread isn't entirely covering all the bases)...and i don't know if it's the book or the book mixed with the accompanying mug of sleepytime tea, but now my dreams are beginning to be affected...

which sucks as i've always been a great dreamer...perhaps it's my imagination, or my constant teetering on the hill overlooking crazytown, who knows...but it's there...this amazing ability to dream...

except now all the dreams i've been having are like the book i'm reading, wordy...filled with phrases and musings of insightfulness about the mundane...or at least the subject matter becomes mundane after i get done working it over...again, like the book...

can i tell you how incredibly annoying it is?...i'd even take that string of james earl jones sex dreams over the ones i've been having...and i suppose i don't need to elaborate except to say that is saying A. LOT.

case in point, last night i came up with the following

the only truth is what you leave behind

see, now when you first read it, it sounds all deep and thought provoking...

yeah.

because when you really read it, it means, um, nothing...well, not nothing, but really it's a less clever more wordy and chakaguru way of phrasing "what happens in vegas, stays in vegas"...

so instead of the tremendously scintillating bordering on real dreaming i am used to, i am apparently using that time to translate pop culture in to pop psychology...which, given the book i'm reading, is apparently a good gig if you can get it on to paper and into the right hands...

so the phrase was disturbing enough to wake me up...and i was starving...who's starving in the middle of the night?...people with crap dreams that's who (and no i'm not pregnant)

when i went downstairs i had a hunk of cheese and a glass of whole milk...at 1:30 in the morning...

yeah.

and i'd like to say it was just last night that i did this middle of the night noshing...but then i'd be lying, and i'm saving that for my own memoir...

so taking the full fat dairy into account, it could be that the only truth is what you leave behind...as in, what's on my ass stays on my ass...

then, of course, i was up for the bulk of the night thinking things...

i'm beginning to suspect that drinking tea, reading *good* books, and getting to bed early is not only ruining my dreaming abilities and my sleep, it's also making me fat(ter)...

suddenly staying up until 1:30 in the morning drinking a whole bottle of wine and watching a demi moore movie marathon is looking like the smarter move all the way around...

truth is what you convince yourself it is

and you can quote me on that...

x.