with sundays like this who needs mondays?

so two sundays ago i took the boybarians out to a cutesy seaside town...we walked around a bit, spent some time at the bookstore and then set off in search of lunch...

this is where it all falls to hell...

we decide to head across the street to the bakery...they have soups and scones and focaccia bread and then a little something sweet for after...

we go in and are drawn to the big glass case filled with pastries and cakes...everything looks so delicious...we were mesmerized by it all and that's why we must not have seen the four men lurking in the bay window between the doors...

just as i am starting to explain lunch choices it happens...

the four men bust into song and start singing...loudly...right there in the tiny quaint bakery these big men are singing a big song...a big loud song...

the boybarians are just staring at them, and wingman covers his ears...meanwhile, i am trying not to grimace and wondering what to do...i look around to asses my escape options and see that everyone in the friggin' place is watching these guys and they look happy...smiling and bobbing along to the music...

are they insane?...are they drunk?

okay i'm all for artistic expression and all, whatever...but a barbershop quartet in the middle of lunch in the middle of a tiny bakery?...

i realize that in order to leave i would have gather up my stuff and the boybarians and walk right past them singing and in fact might have to shove one out of the way to get to the door...that's clearly not going to do...

i may be bitch but i am a bitch with manners...

so i am trapped in line, shouting out the choices to the boys and wishing the line would move faster...it doesn't because it's one of those hip bakeries staffed by generation "who gives a fuck" and they are all moving slowly and chatting amongst themselves...

god was i ever that annoying?

anyhow, after ten minutes, yes TEN MINUTES of standing in line and listening to the loudest barbershop quartet ever, we get to the front...i place my order (silently hoping that by the time the food is ready a table will be open)...she rings me up...

"oh, um, we don't take cards"

"what?"

"um, yeah, it's just cash or check"

i must have just stood there with that tight look on my face (which anyone who knows me knows that's the look that precedes a bitch attack) but she must have thought i didn't get it...

"um, see cards cost us money for you to use them...so it's like not a good deal for us"

well thank you, suze orman for that enlightening fiscal explanation...that certainly helps the fact that i have been waiting in line for ten minutes being assaulted by a barbershop quartet only to have a child with eyebrow piercings and bra straps bigger than her shirt deny me food...and cash or check only???...you'd think one of them could put their apparently useless thus far college degrees to work and make a sign stating their "policy"...and who writes checks anymore???!!!...

i don't like a place where you're just expected to "know" what's what...and if you have to ask you obviously don't belong there...it's a bakery kids, not some secret ultra cool after hours club...

instead of saying what i would like to, i give her a wan smile (again, manners) and i gather the boys my stuff and my busted ear drums and head out the door...of course all the while trying to explain to the kids why it is they can't have the lunch they chose and trying to keep my ever growing irritation at bay...

by this time the barbershop quartet had finished and as i headed out the door THEY FOLLOWED ME!...

i'm walking up the street and they are right behind me and they start singing!!!...i grabbed the boys hands and start to move faster and faster...

i am being chased by a barbershop quartet!

okay, to be fair, in retrospect i think they started singing when they were behind me and then stopped in front of the shop next to the bakery...but i could have sworn they were following me...

so now i am extremely annoyed and sweaty (bad combo) , and the boybarians are beyond hungry and really whiny...

we eventually find lunch but before we could actually eat it i tried to be a good consumer and alerted the cashier to undercharging me 1.99 and ended up getting charged five extra dollars and then when i alerted him to that he got all snippy and bothered...and in the end mr. employee of the year finally ended up charging me only three extra dollars and my soup got cold in the process...

and of course, we had to bus our own table...and of course there are still tip jars everywhere...

we get back to the car and who is standing in front of it but the barbershop quartet...of course they are...where else would they be?...

they are singing their big ol hearts out and there's a crowd of people (clearly, again, each of them insane, or drunk) smiling and stopping to hear them...we get in the car and just sit there...

"c'mon mama, start the car"

"well, i can't until they stop singing"

"because that would be rude?"

"yes, that would be rude"

so we sit in the car listening to the barbershop quartet...it's the song that never ends...the boybarians heads begin to bob and i think one of them started to hum...

x.