Monday, October 18, 2004

jackass; the early years...

okay, so i've never seen the show jackass...or the movie...

well now i don't have to...it's being shown in my front yard...

so i look out this morning and there is wingman standing on top of a little toddler scoot bike that's inside of a wagon (rolling back and forth inside it i might add!) that is attached to the duke's bicycle and the duke is taking off pulling the wagon down the driveway!

of course i run out and shout for them to stop in my best screamy mom voice that could raise the dead (and boy i've had plenty of chance to work on that one lately)...they both look at me like what's up with that?...

i tried to explain the gravity and stupidity of the situation but i really got the impression that they didn't care...because they got off and then came up with another plan...this one apparently involved putting the toddler scoot bike on top of this big rock in the yard...

and then riding it off!...

needless to say, i am a killjoy...they didn't get any farther than the "hey, i have a good idea" stage...and thus they are protected from themselves for at least one more day...

oh, and wingman was wearing his helmet...but i know it didn't have a thing to do with safety, he simply didn't take it off after riding his big kid bike earlier...

oh my god...i can see it all now...this must be how johnny knoxville got his start...god, what his mother must have gone through...

now there's a woman i'd like to meet...i'd definitely have a few burning questions for her...like how do i keep my boybarians from killing themselves and me from having a heart attack daily?...and if there's nothing i can do about it, how do i exploit it for wads of cash!...

in the meantime i will take my meager on the job training and try to apply it the best i can...try not to "overreact", (i call it "parenting", but as the boybarians get older i have a feeling this is what they will refer to it as) to understand the pull of homemade stunt vehicles and the call to dangerous, jackass moves...

if that fails, i may have to just stock up on bandaids and vodka and hope for the best...

x.

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