Monday, April 19, 2010

the old heavy petting threat gets them every time.

okay, i've hinted at this but it's really happening now. the duke is becoming a teenager. and i am not the first mama to go through this, i know, but why is it everything our own children do seems like a one way ticket into no man's land? from teething to girlfriends every step feels like i'm making the one giant step for mankind. bringing you all in is my way of phoning home.

and while i've decided to approach this whole phase with humor and an open mind, some things, while age appropriate, simply will not be allowed in this house. and no, i'm not talking about 'twilight.' thankfully, he's not all that interested. whew.

let me set the stage.

last week at wingman's baseball game we were sitting in the stands. me on one side, my husband on the other, the duke in the middle. and my husband (he needs to be re-named for blogosphere purposes. i haven't come up with anything, so for now he's 'my husband.' wow. lucky him.)

okay, so we were chatting and just being. we were not being overly loud or obnoxious. hard to believe, but true. i do have manners and exercise them. you know, when i need to.

so then we hear the duke pipe up

"shhhh. people can hear you."

"what are you talking about?"

"don't talk so loud."

"we are not talking loud and no one is listening?"

"shhh. it's embarrassing."

really? WTF?

oh. yeah. and so it begins.

i knew this day would come, i just hoped it wouldn't. you know, because i'm so awesome how could i ever be of embarrassment to my son. right?

so i tried to ask him what it was that was so embarrassing about my/our behavior. and he didn't have any kind of concrete answer. just us talking, you know, me being me. so naturally i began to rib him a little, and at the same time to seriously tell him it could be worse. you know, pointing out the things i *could* be doing to really embarrass him. you know, other than just being me.

and it just got worse for him. because of course actually TALKING about it is just as terrible and even worse than it happening when you're that age. i know that. but i wasn't talking about it loudly, i was just trying to have some discussion on this new development. and i have a right to address accusations and grievances levied against me. parenting is a two way street, he's not the only one who's allowed to make a case. then i heard

"shhh! stop! you'!"

okay. i'm done.

"hey, sir, you brought this up. here. and now. and now you need to listen to ME. i've spent a LOT of years working on accepting who i am and being fully okay with who i am. and that's not as easy as you may think it is to do. and i don't change myself based on the people i'm with. i'm me. and i like me. and you may be interested to know that there are a lot of other people who like me and who actually want to spend time with me. and i appreciate that you're going through some hormonal shifts, i get it. but i am not going to change who i am or stop being who i am because you suddenly can't accept it. and if that's really the case, that i embarrass you, then you can choose to sit somewhere else."

"okay. i'm sorry, mama."

to which my husband added

"yeah. and if you don't knock it off i'm going to pull your mama onto my lap and start making out with her right here."


god. it is so hard to be young. how do any of us make it out alive.



Lone Star Ma said...


Dane said...

Why not have a naming contest for your husband? People could submit possible names, the two of you could (try to) agree on a few that don't make you puke and then run a survey to see which ones get the most votes. The winner gets the pleasure of seeing their submission used on a semi-regular basis, and maybe a special X-cooked meal if they happen to live close enough to be able to enjoy such a treat.