Monday, January 25, 2010

your moment(s) of zen.

i have been known to be somewhat of a controlling parent. not in a dream crushing, soul stifling way, but in that i once gave the duke a piece of bread and told him it was a cookie kinda way.

in my defense, a lot of what i did, am doing, is because of personal conviction and a WHOLE LOT of research, reading, and thinking about the kind of parent i want to be. when to introduce different foods as babies and toddlers, when to allow certain kinds of media influences to kids as they get older, and everything in between.

and a lot of it has been and is simply because i'm a control freak. it's just what i do.


that being said, i am aware of it and it's something i am constantly working on. recognizing where i can make improvements, being okay with some behaviors because they fit the way i choose to parent, letting go. sometimes. even though it's really really REALLY hard.

a balance if you will. or, a *valid effort towards* balance.

and as my children get older i am really really REALLY trying to learn how to just take one step back and keep my hands by my sides and out of their business. meaning, not jump right in and do it for them. lest they *gasp!* get hurt, or OH!NO! mess up, or god forbid just get to do something on their own without me butting in and showing them the 'right way' to do it.

and whether your kids are two or twenty or somewhere in between or beyond, i think this is such a valuable parenting tool to keep in your kit. the stay out of their way and let them figure it out for themselves tool.

because when you step back they get to step forward. under their own steam.

and, isn't that really what this is all about? this whole parenting thing? the shepherding them into the future? (well, that and all the snuggling. snuggling's my favorite.)

it is in this spirit that i bring you this week's moment(s) of zen. it's really quite something and i encourage you to watch the whole thing. whether or not you have kids i promise it's worth the few minutes. and if you do have kids, by all means gather them up and have them watch.


1 comment:

blip said...

This is precious -- just to see the smile once he was done with figuring it out all on his own -- priceless and a reminder to let go and let them be! We don't know where it will
lead .... faith is involved.