if a tree falls on your lilac bush and your husband is in the room he DOES hear about it!

okay so maybe it wasn't the whole tree...

see we have this big old dead maple with the center completely rotted out tree that serves no purpose other than as a highway for the squirrels who live in our attic and to give me heart attacks during wind storms...

so we have had it on the books to get it removed for some time now...so we hired our wood guy to do it one weekend and he said sure!...

that was in january...

and just like out of a "i bought a house in tuscany and you wouldn't believe how things get done here it's harrowing and yet charming and hopefully it will be made into a movie!!" memoir he shows up this morning out of the blue with two trucks and three guys and a chainsaw...

i was in the living room giving the duke his spelling test when i heard

whump!

i called to the lord of the ring who was at the kitchen table

"wow, was that the tree?"

"naw, but a pretty big branch!"

"wow, where did it land?"

"on one of the lilac bushes"

i thought he was kidding because he said it so casually and he knows how i feel about the lilacs...pretty much we bought the lilacs and the hundred year old house just happened to come with them...

emotional house purchasing is a lot like emotional eating, only way more expensive...

i raced to the window and i literally felt the wind go out and i couldn't speak...i know it looks worse than it will turn out to be...but right now i just feel sad and sick...and i'm sure the lord of the ring is keeping out of my way because OF COURSE somehow in the grand scheme of things that started with adam and eve and the apple, i *sort of* made *verbal intimations* that this was all somehow his fault...

it's not really, OF COURSE...but when i'm upset and fearful i am irrational and i'm snarky and i'm bitchy...okay, let's be honest, i'm like that as a normal course...so you can only imagine what it's like when something really happens!

all this directed towards the sweet man who looked at me yesterday and said "i married you the moment i met you"

really, it was meant as a compliment...

poor guy.

that tree could take us all out, house and all if it came down wrong...i know that...it needs to go...in the meantime i should go because i don't think i can take it...

i'll let you know what survives...and i promise no matter what to not blame the lord of the ring and that he will be among the surviving...

x.