when i wish upon a star...

without delving to deeply into an emotionally and politically crippling *subject* i submit to you the following...

sillymortalmama's living will...

if i am not *living* and there is no hope of such that i will then do not waste time and resources on me...

okay?

because damn! if my life hasn't been the life of dreams...two amazing, astonishing, unbelievable if you would have tried to describe them to me before, incredibly smart, beautiful children, the absolute most perfect partner a girl who may or may not deserve it could ask for, the coolest and best totally kick ass sisters the world could offer, a mom who surrounds me with the purest white light, and a dad who lovingly digs me up and out of the sand...

a best friend who makes the word *best* look awfully inadequate, and good friends galore that couldn't put up with and accept much more...but they continue to...it's an appreciated mystery...

i'm there...i've lived it...

pull the plug and break out the wine if it all goes down...a little music and some good stories...

because in the end, it's about who you've loved and the ones who've loved you back...

time and circumstance such as they can be do not change that...

and should i need to go, i need to go...

not that it won't be sad...but damnit, death is sad...

and, that is life...and that is life, and yet life moves...

so should i go y'all know it will be quick, or it should be...i do not wish to linger...

because as i sit here now i know how much i am and have been loved...and it makes me sick to think of missing a minute with my children or my husband or my family or my friends...but it goes...i know above all, it goes...and that my dear, dear friends is life...

so hug your babies and call your parents...love your partners if possible and if not then let them go...if something needs changing then change it now...

some days just don't offer second chances...

be blessed,

x.

change is good...right?

i have an extremely hard time with change...

BUT! things are such that change is pretty much my constant companion these days and will continue to be so...

(though i am happily and without anxiety posting this on a saturday, so what gives?)

that being so, i decided a bit of an update was in order...

same great sillymortalmama, fresh new look!

man, i really do need to get out more...

as we celebrate that pagan goddess of spring, eostre, the rising of christ, and worshiping at the temple of cadbury, let us take a moment to celebrate another important event of march 27th...the birthday of kwan yin...the goddess of compassion and really, just a wonderful presence to have/introduce into your life...

but i have to say, as i was writing about eostre, i must mention an odd and disturbing thing...okay so first the quick and dirty about eostre/ostara is she had a little trouble with a bird, changed it to a hare...it becomes the constellation lepus...well, it wants to be a bird and fly again and eostre says sure, one day a year, on easter...you can fly but you bring me your eggs...you can surmise the rest...

only as i am writing this post an extremely big and beautiful robin flew smack dab into the window!...scared the shit out of me!...i go to check and sure enough i look down and it's taking it's last breath...gasping and there is just no hope...

okay, apart from being shocky and sad and slightly horrified with the whole thing (i am SO glad the lord of the ring is here!) it's gotta be an omen of sorts...

in the original spirit of this post i was going to tell you about my midwifery friends from the clinic who called me "jesusita" after i "rose" and was able to leave the hospital i was transported to following the duke's homebirth a mere three days after said birth wherein i nearly bled to death which necessitated the transport in the first place...

but the dead bird outside my window suggests i may be pushing it...so i think i may just call it a post and go light a candle...or four...

x.

T.G.I.effn'F!

the lord of the ring returns home today!!!

just in time to assist with the SEVEN *new* loads of laundry that have a date at the LAUNDRO-MAT, the *has a cold* and the *just on the verge of one* boybarians, the lawn that is two weeks overdue for mowing (yup, never did get to that) , and the house that desperately needs a good scrub down...oh, and i haven't checked the mouse trap in two weeks and forgot to put the garbage can out on monday...it's easter weekend to boot which means egg dyeing and a day long family affair on sunday...

if he didn't have such a hot wife, well all of that piled up might seem really sucky...

x.

lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

well, bobcats and grey wolves and bears, oh my!

we are taking a field trip today to a wildlife park...it promises to be great fun...if we can get out the door!

we are already having a clothing crisis this morning...with the washer broken our laundry situation is such that wingman no longer has a full range of shirt choices...this is a problem for our little bill blass...that kid cannot start the day without the appropriate shirt...and whatever shirt it is that day is anyone's guess...

anyhow, this morning he was left with very few choices...the best of which just happens to be an adorable shirt with a wolf on it...now, how perfect, right?

no...first of all it has long sleeves which automatically gets it wait-listed...then there is the issue of the wolf...see, wingman is a little concerned about today's trip...concerned about the wolves in particular...so he thinks that if he wears a shirt with a wolf on it the wolves will think he's a wolf and want to come up and lick him...

i told him that just because he is wearing a particular shirt doesn't mean wolves are gonna wanna come up and lick him...

he's not convinced...

hell i wouldn't be either as that is the very reason i stopped wearing tube tops to bars!...ha ha, ho ho, hee hee...whew...

x.

viento malo...

to give you an idea of how today is going, the duke just asked the following

"do i have to be reasonable?"

this only a little after while writing a letter to a friend he shouted out from two rooms away

"HOW DO YOU SPELL GLOBAL DOMINATION?!?"

sigh...

what's worse is we are essentially, by the power of sillymortalmama psychosis, trapped inside today as the weather outside is sunny, but entirely too breezy...i don't do breezy...it's a little too close to windy...and any movement of air on that large of a scale messes with something deep inside of me and makes me want to do evil...

so instead i am trapped inside with the boybarians because they only want to be with me...and while it's a heart busting sentiment, all this togetherness is verging on a *bit* much...and right now even given my psychotic reaction to the rapid movement of the air outside, i really can't say what would be worse...pulling weeds in the wind or being trapped knee-deep in the mire that only those two can create...

really, it's a toss up...

x.

happy spring!

and now a warning: proud mother alert ahead

yesterday at the chess tournament the duke came in third in his division and got a big ol' trophy!...he was very proud, i was very proud!...plus he qualified for the state elementary championships next month...

we were in the car driving home and wingman says

"dat shore is a nice twofee"

to which the duke responded

"i know...i'm going to have to polish it a lot"

oh dear...

in other news, we've been out of the house since morning for four days in a row now so i've declared today a holiday!...no school today and i'm working on my second cup of coffee...

well, it is the first day of spring which is reason enough to celebrate...i know i know your calendar said it was yesterday, but years ago i started celebrating equinoxes and solstices on the 21st, regardless of where they fall on the calendar that year...it's an old witch thing...and since most days my children think i'm an old witch, so be it...

so to celebrate our rare day off (we don't take holidays if they fall on a school day) i will first clean this house (four days of complete dash in dash out neglect and no washing machine...bleh) and then we will, um, well, we will likely do nothing...

well, not *nothing*, just *not school*...the duke and wingman just finished a game of chess and now the duke is playing risk against himself and wingman is listening to the beatles...

later after doing *nothing* we will go to the nursery and the boys will pick out some flowers to plant...

then i will HAVE to rest up because tomorrow we're back at the LAUNDRO-MAT...

so i hope you all enjoy this fine day wherever you are and in whatever weather you have...

a new season, a new beginning...another chance to live your life as you were meant to live it...

happy spring!

x.

gone baby gone...

i have no proper post for you today but wanted to pop in and wish you all a happy friday...

and no, it isn't because i have the irish flu...

it's because, oddly enough, i will GONE all DAY doing THINGS...as in AWAY from HOME...

i know, i know, i too am amazed...

be good...

x.

snakes my ass...

well, stoveman comes today for a feast in honor of that bastard st. patrick...but, i suppose if he didn't drive out the pagans and the snake priestesses some other wanker would have...

BUT, since in this county st. patrick's day is less about st. patrick and more about celebrating ireland and all things irish i am so all for it!...i have a love for ireland that i can't explain...and having not been there yet, i won't try...to that end, we will celebrate the day irish-american style with corned beef and cabbage and guinness...plus, i'm making a loaf of irish soda bread, which is more traditionally irish-irish...

i even got some harp to make black and tans, too...or 'arf 'n 'arfs as the father of stoveman calls them...and having been a bartender in another one of my pre-boybarian incarnations, they won't suck...

and now for an update on the doings of the lord of the ring...

so you all know he's in new york state with the billionaires...he'll be there until the friday before easter...anyhow, on monday he told me of a meeting that was scheduled for the next day...with the city...it was sprung on him last minute, and was going to be kinda a big deal...well, he got there and the meeting was less a meeting and more a PRESS CONFERENCE...he ended up on three television stations...

well then...that man has the strangest *luck*...though it beats stacking wood and going to the LAUNDRO-MAT i suppose...actually, on second and more involved thought, it doesn't!...

it's a beautiful nearly spring day and there will be meat and beer...i hope y'all enjoy the day as much as i will...

and for GAWDS sake DO NOT ruin good beer with green food coloring...okay?...do it for me...do it for the displaced snake priestesses, huh?...do it for the sake of the beer...well, unless it's hamm's in which case it can only be improved with the green coloring...

x.

oh, and a very very happy st. patrick's day to my favorite accomplished drinker and newly minted irishman...sure explains a lot, don't it...;)

i need to get out more...

it was so windy last night and this morning i went outside to check on stuff...

turns out our best blue tarp (yeah, out here in the sticks blue tarps get categories) had blown away and was down against the back pasture fence....

as i went out to get it i was bending over to yank it away from the fence and i thought to myself

"hey, this is in the shape of a dead body all wrapped up...wouldn't that be creepy"

GOOD MORNING!

man, i gotta get out more...

being giddily excited by the wood getting stacked before the rains came and draining two day old fetid water from the washing machine somehow doesn't cut it...it's lacking that je ne se quoi...or however you spell it...see, if i got out more i betcha i'd know how to spell it...

oh wait, that's right...i am getting out today...to the LAUNDRO-MAT with the boybarians!!!...big fun...why are the darker parts of my childhood flooding back?...

the best part about the LAUNDRO-MAT i am going to is that it's right next door to the money tree check cashing joint...could i get luckier?...WHY YES I CAN!...this particular LAUNDRO-MAT is also on the highway right behind a bus stop!...

yes, i am snob about such matters...but when you spend even one portion of your life in a trailer park under a bridge then it becomes paramount to your soul that you spend your life shying away from certain realities...like the LAUNDRO-MAT...yeah it was kicky and quirky and fun doing my laundry at the LAUNDRO-MAT in san francisco with the cute boy i was macking with, but this is a far far different set of circumstances...

then tonight i promised the boybarians an indoor campout...with the ever popular "squirrel burgers"...they are beyond excited...and just so you know, i did not introduce them to "squirrel burgers"...no, that would be the mathematician...yes, he was so generous with the introduction of the "squirrel burger"and with gambling also...sometimes you don't have to search for good strong role models for your kids, often they just fall into your lap...

oh, and just one last mention before i leave...while at the library yesterday i was unloading my armful of books...the duke put his up...wingman adding his to the pile...

the librarian says good naturedly

"oh, that's a lot of books"

then i open my totebag to unload the rest...

(yes i have a totebag...and yes i know totebags are not cool)

"wow, that is a lot of books!"

to which i respond

"yeah, we don't get out much"

duh...why i feel the need to broadcast that i don't know...

by now the librarian has swiped my card and sees that in addition to the books i have on the counter to check out, i already have 60 books at home checked out...

"well, obviously you know how to spend your time at home...and just so you know, i know who you are and you are one of the reasons our library is number 3 for circulation in the county!"

i don't know what to say...so i don't say anything...

"and that's good because more circulation means more money for our particular branch!"

the line is beginning to pile up behind me...then i remember

"oh, do i have any holds in?"

"yes, you have 9"

the proof is in the pudding people...i don't know what more i can say...

x.

ides of march...

i have been doing the following on my not self-imposed hiatus:

taking boybarians to the dentist
stacking a ginormous mountain of wood
draining a broken washing machine
taking care of the boybarians while the lord of the ring is away

i have absolutely NO time to visit here...it's sad really, because there are just too many funny things to tell you...

and as it is the ides of march, i can only imagine what lay ahead...

actually, technically, the ides of march is simply a way of saying "march 15" in the old roman calendar...there are ides every month of the year...they are on the 13th of every month except march, may, july and october wherein the ides fall on the 15th...

"beware the ides of march" is from shakespeare's play julius caesar...which was just the warning given to caesar that he should be on guard...the theory is that he got the date wrong, thinking the ides to be on the 13th that month...obviously, he was wrong...

but what really came of that whole date debacle, well, other than the assassination of julius caesar, was the ominous and dramatic saying "beware the ides of march"...

(by the way, caesar salad has nothing to do with julius caesar...but c-sections and the awful haircut by the same name do...thought i'd throw that in...you know, since i'm channeling cliff clavin and all...though i'd rather be channeling norm...as he was more popular by far and also drunk a great deal of the time...although, he was awfully large and sweaty, too...hmmm...maybe i can just channel the beer drinking part...i certainly don't need any encouragement in the large and sweaty department...or the beer drinking department for that matter)

but, i digress...

who cares how it originated and whether or not it means anything...i'm not taking any chances BECAUSE it is also around this same time that the virgin mary found out that she was pregnant with jesus by the holy spirit...holy crap!...

anyhow, in the meantime, i have three posts in the crumbling wings of my addled brain and i am aiming to commit them to cyberspace this week...

stay tuned...

oh, and beware the ides of march...and uh, smooth talking spirits, too...

although smooth spirits would be fine...a nice glass of maker's mark...or perhaps a well made martini...extra dry...

by the way, anyone know how to repair a washing machine?

x.