oy vey.

i KID you not as soon as we sat down at the deli yesterday the duke immediately got that i know i was fine two minutes ago but right now i feel really really gross and hot and pukey and in fact as much as it pains me to admit this mother given the right trigger i just may puke all over you and the good people we are sharing the deli's one communal table with look on his face...

i've never downed hand cured artisanal meats and cheeses and wine so damned fast in my life...well, maybe wine...anyhow, we got the rest to go and hightailed it out of there...

so no flowers or pastry...but no puke either...

so all in all just another birthday with kids...

the bag lady in paris sent me cold hard cash so i'm finally ordering my "you make jesus cry" and "no one cares about your blog" mug set...

i thought already ordered them and have been waiting...turns out i didn't...but now i will...

she also sent me the barefoot contessa in paris cookbook...the recipe for roasted chicken on a bed of croutons is one i've been making a lot of...it is soooo good...and now i don't have to keep getting the book from the library!

ina garten has the personality of a bowl of unadulterated cream of wheat but her recipes are terrific!

we aren't going on our letterboxing walk this morning with the duke feeling ill...but i *think* i will *gasp* brave the upstairs...but, i don't know...it's sooooo hot...maybe in awhile...because i'm a LOSER!...and everyday i wait i'm one step closer to christmas...

anyhow, i fear i will be too busy with the duke to accomplish much...remember me mentioning he's really really high maintenance when he's sick?...yeah, it's terrifically charming...

so yesterday after racing home he's lying on the couch searching for a john wayne movie on t.v. and says

"mama, i'm hungry"

"oh yeah, well what would you like?...some soup?"

"no...i'd like a roast beef sandwich on dark rye"

"you are not having a sandwich like that with your stomache the way it is...besides i don't have anything to make a sandwich like that"

"that's okay...i'd take a burger...AND you don't even have to make it...you could order it"

good grief.

then this morning when i came downstairs before he even says hi he says

"mama, papa won't let me make pancakes"

"oh honey, you shouldn't be in the kitchen making pancakes when you're sick"

"well then, you could make them for me...extra syrup please"

he got cereal...

that's all you need when you're sick, a big old glob of pancakes in your belly...besides, i don't *do* pancakes...i can whip up a big ol' mexican breakfast like you wouldn't believe...but standing at the stove making pancakes...each individual cake...pour watch flip...pour watch flip...it's a little too zen for me...probably why i never did any good with meditation...or with men who wear clogs...

so we'll see if i'm in the kitchen all day or not...since he hasn't puked yet, it's a good bet i will be...

speaking of the kitchen, tonight is the great macaroni and cheese off...we're making one homemade, one *healthy* box, and one unhealthy box...then we're doing a blind taste test to indentify our favorite one...

the lord of the ring is in charge of making the homemade one...which makes me feel as though i'd really like to have a little heart medication on hand just in case...

it's friday, so tonight is also family movie night...tonight we are watching the first harry potter...wingman just got done with a read aloud of the first book so he gets to finally see the movie...he's been dying to see it for awhile...but the deal in this house is you read the book or have it read to you before you get to see the movie...with so many great classics being made into movies these days it seems like a good compromise...

well, there's my day and i haven't even finished my coffee!!...

from my house to yours, may your friday also be productive and puke free...

x.

oye como va!

~~~~happy birthday to me!!!~~~~

and so it is written:

on this day a sillymortal was born

today i celebrate my birthday...i am 35 and feel every inch it...

not in a bad way...i just feel older somehow...like some years birthdays come and go and i feel no different...but this year i do...i haven't figured out how i feel different beyond the older but in a good way bit...there's something else lurking there...good thing i have a year to figure it all out...

if i stumble on any answers i'll share them with you...

i know you were worried...

anyhow, today is carlos santana's birthday, too...which is pretty cool...even cooler if he and i could go out for birthday mojitos...though he doesn't strike me as the mixed drink type...but really, mojitos aren't a mixed drink as much as they are an elixer...he's probably busy, though...

to celebrate the lord of the ring and the boybarians and i are heading to the big city across the pond to a deli (for lack of a better word) called salumi...it's mario batali's dad's joint and i have been dying to go forever...

their specialty is they make their own cured artisan meats, among a myriad of other italian items, and it's just basically a storefront with some tables...the line is out the door for sandwiches and weekly pastas and soups, and they are only open tuesdays through fridays from 11-4...

i want an antipasto platter and a bottle of wine to start...we'll go from there...

it's supposed to be fantastic and i can't wait!

beyond that, no plans...maybe pick up some flowers and a birthday pastry at pike place market if i can brave the tourists without imploding...it's doubtful...though filled with cured meat and wine i feel i can attempt to accomplish anything...

it's a beautiful day and i plan to enjoy it...

x.

wednesday.

well, we found the first letterbox but couldn't get to the second due to a bridge closure...

and no, there wasn't anyone lurking about on the trail...*this* time...

yesterday we went on a hike to a gorgeous waterfall on the olympic peninsula...wingman complained bitterly only part of the way...

why is it when i say the word *hike* he's all jumping up and down and excited...but then when we are actually *hiking* he's whining and complaining and slowly dissolving along the way?

probably for the same reason he can ride his bike and play at the park for hours on end but can't walk up the stairs to get his pajamas on and insists on being carried...

in other and more disturbing news, i had a dream about david hasselhoff last night...it wasn't pretty...he was wearing that shirt he wears in real life that says "don't hassle the hoff"...good lord don't hassle me!!...thankfully i woke up before it got extra ugly...

there isn't much to report except a packed schedule for the next few days...today we have the library and piano and then a ball game this evening...a *real* ball game which means beer and hot dogs and actual action...i don't care if i ever see another t-ball game in my life!!...

tomorrow is my birthday, friday we go for another letterbox hunt in some wetlands, and saturday i am taking a kayak class/tour...

i also plan to start the painting project in our bedroom and pull together the upstairs...then declutter the art shelf and homeschool stuff in anticipation of our august return to school...

that's plenty ambitious for my lazy self...i'm tired just thinking about it!...but it will be a good birthday gift to complete a few projects...

at the very least get the um, christmas stuff in the upstairs hallway put away...

yeah, that's bad...i know...what's even worse is my thinking hey, i'm over halfway to christmas so i could just save myself the work and leave it...it was considered...well, is still being considered...

i'll keep you posted...

x.

monday.

oh, my kids are a charming lot...

this morning wingman comes up to me and gives me a hug and says

"you have a big ol' tummy...you need to get a baby from the sky to put in that big ol' tummy"

wow, with the charming children i already have why wouldn't i want more?

speaking of my big ol' tummy, i haven't been totally on par with my exercise because i hurt my knee a few weeks ago...i'm trying to go easy on it...i was griping about it the other day and the lord of the ring cheekily says

"oh is that your old cycling injury acting up?"

"more like re-cycling injury from carrying those damned beer bottles to the end of the driveway"

buh dump bump.

seriously, i hurt it in the pool...we went to a community pool (yes, i wore a bathing suit in public...i know i know, sometimes i even surprise myself) a few weeks ago and since neither of my boys can swim (the duke doesn't want to get his face wet GOOD LORD!, wingman hasn't had lessons yet) "swimming at the pool" consists of me hauling their little wet bodies around the deep end and hanging out in the shallow end with them...

so while i was hauling them around i tweaked my knee funny and it hasn't been the same since...but, it's slowly getting better and i hope to be back up to my normal exercise routine soon...

meanwhile, we are still on a break from school...we go back at the beginning of august and i can't wait...school lends a certain structure to the day that we desperately need...or i do anyway...

the boybarians are like puppies...without structure they are left to their own devices...mostly it's okay, but some days it just ain't pretty...

speaking of which, since the duke came home from camp he hasn't been the same kid that left...he's been like a some sort of pseudo teenager...all weird tone inflections and just *not* in his body...it's age appropriate and it's really annoying...it's finally flushing out, but not soon enough for my liking...

anyhow, i think i have gotten even closer to the actual root of the change...it's less the lord of the flies influence of camp than i thought it was and far more insidious...we had a conversation yesterday that went like this

"hey mama, did you know that at camp i had two little milks with every meal?"

"oh, i didn't realize you were such a milk drinker"

"yeah, two cartons...most of the kids did"

"well, i hope you had some water, too"

"actually, i didn't drink any water while i was there"

(insert previous crack pipe scenario here)

"um, what?...i sent your water bottle...and they have water pitchers on each table...you must have had some water"

"nope, just milk"

oh. my. god.

i encourage water drinking here...rarely is there a time we have anything BUT water at meals to drink or anytime during the day for that matter...and this kid is telling me for eight days he didn't drink a drop?

what the hell!...didn't the counselors encourage it?...did he leave his brain at home?...i even sent letters and in every letter i mentioned "hey, remember to drink lots of water!"...i *know* that doesn't work, but it makes me feel better...

no wonder he came back and acted the way he did...he's dehydrated!...friggin' kid...leaves home and loses his ever lovin' mind!...

sigh...

they did a study on happiness and it turns out the actual day to day act of parenting came in at the bottom of the list...after laundry and taking out the garbage...everyone always says their kids bring them the greatest joy, it's just the actual act of parenting that makes them want to take a long walk off a short pier...

well, we're off on a letterbox* hunt...we made our own stamps and we got some clues to a letterbox really close to us so we're off to see if we can find it...i'll let you know how it goes...

x.

*letterboxing is the hunt for hidden boxes filled with a rubber stamp and a logbook...someone hides a box and puts clues on the web and you get the clues and hunt for the box...it's usually on some walking trail or park...you find the box and stamp your logbook with the stamp in the box and stamp the logbook in the box with your stamp...

it originated in europe and has made its way to the states...it sounds like fun** and our stamps turned out really cool!

**well, "fun" if there isn't some creep who reads the clues and lies in wait on trails for unsuspecting parents and kids...i know, i'm deranged but i wouldn't be me if i didn't think worst case scenario...that's just how i roll...and probably why my blood pressure is so high...

well, i can breathe again...

the duke of fun has returned from his 8 days at camp...

i didn't realize i was holding my breath...

i knew he was having fun and was safe and cared for but that doesn't matter one whit when you're the mother...or, i'm your mother...

anyhow he's here and i am SO GLAD!...i missed him terribly and it was a hard adjustment not having him here...okay, so that's a gross understatement of my emotional state while he was gone...but i don't need to bore you with all the neurotic details...this time...

ah, my boy forging a path independent of his family unit...embarking on new adventures, making new friends, learning to trust strangers...getting the award for *the* stinkiest feet out of his group of cabins...

apparently, and i have a certificate of award to prove it, he has earned the nickname "dr. sweet feet"...

"yeah, the girls said they could smell my feet all the way from their cabins!"

as you can imagine, this is an incredible source of pride for a 9 year old boy...

myself?...i can think of other things i'd like my son to be known for...but at least he's making a name for himself...no one forgets a smell like that and the person responsible (i blame the sandals...but then again, i would)

there's no such thing as *bad* publicity, right?

and i had the pleasure of smelling those feet...i'd have to say, the award was more than well earned and well deserved...

oh, but not to be outdone by the feet...we had the following exchange in the car on the way from the bus

"oh, mama?"

"yeah, buddy"

"um, this pair of underwear i'm wearing are my only pair i had"

"well good thing you didn't run out, huh?...we'll wash the other pairs with all your things when we get home"

"no, i mean this is the only pair i had all week at camp...you didn't pack any other pairs"

"what?...i packed 9 pairs of underwear and showed you where they were in the bag!"

"well, they weren't there"

if i *had* asthma, now is the point at which i would have been sucking on my inhaler like a crackhead in an abandoned building...

"so what you're saying is you've been wearing the same pair of underwear the whole time you've been gone?"

"yep"

oh. good. god.

so of course at home i showed him the whole pile of clean underwear in the pocket he missed...obviously they were clean, but i tossed them in the wash with all his other camp laundry anyway...it made me feel better somehow...to physically act out denial is a terribly soothing balm...

it is at this point in the telling that as a matter of redemption (his not mine...i've accepted there's no hope for me...but let's try and save the children...oh, and dear duke, if you ever read this, *again*, i am so sorry i must use you as fodder at my whim...but, that's the way it goes...love, your mother)

but, i digress...

wait, where was i?...now i'm getting tripped up by my own literary license...good lord it does sneak up on you...ANY. HOW. i must bring up the fact that he was voted by all of his group of cabins as "most honest"...now THIS is more like it!...

seriously, he was very proud of the award...the lord of the ring and i are very very very proud of this...see, at camp they have core values that they try and get the kids to understand and possess and project...there are six, and at the end of the week all the campers in your group of cabins vote on the camper who most represented each one...

most honest...whatta kid...

when you send your kids out into the world it's a crapshoot...what you send out and what you get back has absolutely nothing to do with you...of course in the grand scheme it does in the form of your influence and parenting blah blah blah....but that's the grand scheme...

at the actual moment, though, when it really comes down to it, it is only about your child...who your child is when he or she isn't with you...and what he or she chooses to do with the information or situation at hand...

you give them the tools and just have to hope it all balances out in the end...the hurts the triumphs the sacrifices the happiness...

you hope they accept good natured ribbing with aplomb (those sandals are history!)

you hope they win awards for the possession of admirable character traits...

you hope that despite it all they have learned a lesson, made a friend, and shared a laugh...

but mostly you hope they are wearing clean underwear...

indeed.

x.